Pairing sillies meme!

[melannen]

This meme seems to be going around again - I got it via avanti_90. I need something to bribe myself to get to-do list done with, anybody want to give me a pairing and some numbers?

It can be any pairing from any of the fandoms you know I know canon for, except I'm going to exclude RPF this time, because I'm so incredibly behind on canon for all my old RPF fandoms. (There are some fiction canons I'm also incredibly behind on, I'll let you know if you hit one of them.)

Comment with the name of a ship from a fandom I know and I will tell you a bit about how each of the following scenarios would go down for them:
1. Fake dating
2. Bodyswap
3. Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it
4. Dark!fic
5. Their first kiss
6. Meeting the parents
7. Moving in together
8. A crossover of my choice
9. An AU of my choice
10. If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice

Comments

[genarti]

Les Mis, Rihannsu AU?

[melannen]

I'm not going to write any of this one out because let's be honest, if I did, it would basically just be writing the revolution in Empty Chair from the POV of people on the ground in Ra'tleihfi who had no idea what was happening in space. I've always sort of wanted to do that anyway. Only the "too many OCs needed" problme would be solved by having their personalities and backstories "borrowed" from Les Mis. It's public domain. I can do that.

Plot-wise it would probably actually be pretty different from the Paris revolt? I mean the obvious difference being that they don't all die and they do get a revolution. (With a bonus Queen, so maybe it'd be more like the July Rebellion....) But the underlying politics and culture (and tech!) are pretty different, too, so I suspect it wouldn't be just a scene-by-scene translation. Also, the Amis are older, and at least a couple of them served a deployment in the Romulan Grand Fleet. (Probably at least Combeferre and Bahorel?) Also at least a couple of them are Ship-Clan aristocracy come to ch'Rihan to be educated. Bahorel is an old friend of Nveid's.

When it's all said and done, Romulan-Valjean ends up a senator entirely against his will. He spends about a quarter of his time letting Arrhae and H'daen show him the ropes of being a sudden Senator, about a quarter of his time avoiding his daughter's father-in-law Senator tr'Gillenormand, and about a quarter of his time listening to young tr'Enjolras complain about they had a people's revolution and ended up with a Ruling Queen. He's trying to figure out how to get tr'Enjolras an audience with Ael and the Swords and the Empty Chair: at the very least, he figures, it won't be his problem after that.

Javert, with Valjean's sponsorship, becomes the first Romulan to go to Vulcan to study c'thia. Javert masters the disciplines much faster than anyone other than Valjean expected.

Gavroche joins Starfleet.

[genarti]

I love this so much. Oh man. Reluctant senator Valjean! Bahorel as Ship-Clan aristocracy! Javert studying c'thia! Gavroche unleashed upon Starfleet, yes. And tr'Enjolras and Ael would probably get along like a house on fire, by which I mean both extremely well and with ferocious and constant disagreement and possibly, given Enjolras and the truckload of symbolism he carts around, metaphorically illuminating several city blocks.

[melannen]

I feel like after Rihannsu!Enjolras meets Ael, Grantaire will just spend a lot of time staring at him while Enjolras rants AT LENGTH and with GREAT ERUDITION about how the Empress is beautiful and perfect and wrong about EVERYTHING and DOOMED and will never notice him and IT WILL JUST END THE SAME AS LAST TIME and so on.

And Grantaire mutters to himself about the difference between schadenfreude and karma until Ael teaches him how to make a proper Terran Mint Julep and he stops caring.

(BUT IMAGINE ENJOLRAS IN THE SAME ROOM WITH BOTH THE s'HARIENS. Too much pretty, symbolism implodes on itself)

[genarti]

I am choking on laughter, which is a problem since I'm at my work desk. Oh my god.

(Too much pretty and too much symbolism, or JUST ENOUGH?)

[melannen]

(I think it depends on who you ask...)

(OK but imagine this: at a vital moment they absolutely need to stall the Senate from being able to do ANYTHING legislatively, for at least several days, until they're ready to omove. So Grantaire volunteers to get caught committing treason and breaks McCoy's record for longest Right of Statement ever. And for largest percentage of Right of Statement spent talking about recipes for alcoholic drinks.)