Pairing sillies meme!

[melannen]

This meme seems to be going around again - I got it via avanti_90. I need something to bribe myself to get to-do list done with, anybody want to give me a pairing and some numbers?

It can be any pairing from any of the fandoms you know I know canon for, except I'm going to exclude RPF this time, because I'm so incredibly behind on canon for all my old RPF fandoms. (There are some fiction canons I'm also incredibly behind on, I'll let you know if you hit one of them.)

Comment with the name of a ship from a fandom I know and I will tell you a bit about how each of the following scenarios would go down for them:
1. Fake dating
2. Bodyswap
3. Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it
4. Dark!fic
5. Their first kiss
6. Meeting the parents
7. Moving in together
8. A crossover of my choice
9. An AU of my choice
10. If you like, another trope/scenario of your choice

Comments

[siegeofangels]

Mairelon and Renee, fake dating?

[melannen]

....but that's canon isn't it? Or did I get canon confused with "Things that are definitely true" instead? :P

(no, okay it's been awhile since I re-read the first book, but didn't he use "I was protecting Renee's reputation" as a cover for the much sketchier stuff they were doing late at night together? I'm p. sure that until he got with Kim, most of London had been deliberately convinced they were having a not-all-that-secret affair. I didn't just build all that up in my head did I?)

Anyway I'm pretty sure that Renee is really not attracted to dudes at all. She got pretty good at faking it when necessary but of course Mairelon, being Mairelon, picked up on it the first time he met her. And it seemed like a 100% perfect excuse to get various relatives off his back, so he offered to spend her first "Season" as her v. v. eligible suitor. After her Coming Out Ball, when she was acceptably established as a wizard and could get away with slightly more socially, he did something AMAZINGY caddish and she broke up with him in the most dramatic and messy way possible because they both thought that would be amusing. And then he had an excuse to go overseas 'in disgrace' for awhile and she had an excuse to be too 'devastated' to have to entertain any more suitors for at least a year.

Since then they've had an on-again-off-again fake affair as one or both of them needed a convenient alibi/beard. Being a wizard makes Renee's reputation just elastic enough that she can get away with a 'secret' affair as long as he's of the correct class and she doesn't flaunt it, so it's perfect for both of them.

Renee's never felt the least temptation to make it a real thing, even though she's occasionally gotten hints that Mairelon would be up for it if she would, they were very gentle hints and not at all awkward to ignore, and he never made it weird. And she does love him but not quite enough to make up for the 'not attracted to men' thing. Now that Mairelon's married to Kim, though, their old arrangement is going to have to change, because neither one of them is going to risk hurting Kim.... Renee's considering sending out hints of her own, though, if Kim and Mairelon were up for it she thinks she could do that.... especially if Kim ever needed to play up the "my husband is going back to his old mistress!" thing in order to get information out of someone....

[siegeofangels]

Ahhh this is so great! <3