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September 16th, 2016 10:10 pm - yt noms
OK I yt nommed:

?! Solar System (Fandom)
Characters
?! Rosetta (ESA Spacecraft)
?! Philae (ESA Spacecraft)
?! Juno (NASA Spacecraft)
?! New Horizons (NASA Spacecraft)

?! Second Viking Invasion of England (1013-1016) RPF
Characters
?! Cnut the Great
?! Eadric Streona
?! Edmund II Ironside
?! Emma of Normandy

?! Barnaby - Crockett Johnson (Comic)
Characters
?! Barnaby Baxter
?! Jackeen J. O'Malley
?! Barnaby's Father
?! Jane Shultz


(I also may have gotten inappropriately passionate in the evidence post about why space robot fandom cannot be neatly categorized as Anthropomorphism or RPF because that is an inappropriate place to make a judgement call about the edges of personhood.)

(I was going to nom Cope/Marsh again but somebody else got there first.)

(Edmund Ironside and Emma of Normandy are SO EPIC tho why are there not, like, ten classic movies a Marvel superhero and at least two cable series about them already)

(I have no idea what I am requesting I'll have to look at the tagset first.)

(9 comments | Reply)


September 14th, 2016 06:49 pm - Rivers of London
So in other news, I have been reading all of the Rivers of London fic lately. (I am somewhere between step five and step eight, given the vagaries of fandom.)

(It started with giving in and reading Wizardry by Consent because I am so there for any pairing that is "effectively immortal, super competent person who is starting to lose their footing in the world / middle-aged vanilla mortal with a rock-solid certainty of who they are but still ready for a little wonder in their life." Unfortunately this is not quite the dynamic in canon but I guess it was close enough. Also I have already read all the Three/Brig and Joe/Methos in the world so it wasn't like I could go elsewhere.

Also! A story about police that is fundamentally critical of policing-as-practiced and is all about community policing and oversight and restorative justice sort of stuff! I have been unable to read in most of the classic buddy-cop fandoms lately because of discomfort with narrative glorification of the system that doesn't address its glaring problems, but this story worked.)

But, anyway, I moved on from that one and am now busy reading all the rest of the fanfic, but I ran out of novel-length ones already so I just got the first volume of canon out from the library. Before I started reading it, I thought I would try to summarize what I have learned via osmosis. For science.

Possibly spoilers for all of Rivers of London? IDK I haven't read it. )

I think the part where Peter and Thomas get married and have apprentices of their own is fanon but honestly at this point I am not sure. Peter likes architecture and Harry Potter. Thomas likes rugby and botany. They love each other very much. That part is canon. The end, except that there is a new book coming out soon.

And now I get to find out how wrong that all was! \o/

(18 comments | Reply)


September 13th, 2016 06:25 pm
I think nearly everyone involved (including me) misunderstood the point of timestamp meme, but one of them did result in me writing an actual fic (??) so here is more Kent Parson:

Healthy & Straightforward Communication Skills (2915 words) by melannen
Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Rating: General Audiences
Relationships: Past Kent/Jack - Relationship, Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Characters: Kent "Parse" Parson, Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann
Additional Tags: Meet the Ex, Pie, bitty's baking magic, very minor suicide references, Timestamp
Series: Part 2 of Of Pies and Kent
Summary: From a DW request: The first time Bitty and Kent are in the same room after Jack and Kent start talking again. (This is in continuity with "Bless Your Heart, Kent Parson" but you don't need to read that first.)

**

Also it is apparently Yuletide Time already. I am not super-excited about noms this year because all the small fandoms I've been excited about lately are ones I am 100% sure will get other noms. (Well. Maybe Barnaby? But I couldn't write it and I think my chances of offers are v. v. low.) If anybody has something they really want but can't nom, lmk.

(4 comments | Reply)


September 6th, 2016 05:25 pm
I watched my first episode of The Great British Bake-Off this weekend, and, um.

does there exist a Check Please story where Bitty does super-high-stakes high-stress competitive baking and Jack just sort of slouches around skating for stress relief at 3 AM and being a supportive boyfriend? Because I want to read that story.

So anyway.

I need a kick in the pants to write again after being derailed by chiggers et al. Anybody feel like doing the timestamp thing? Give me a time before or after any of the stories on my AO3 and I will write a ficlet about what was happening then.

(32 comments | Reply)


August 30th, 2016 08:28 pm - PERSONAL CHIGGERS TIMELINE
For future reference, since this is apparently a thing now, thanks, climate change.

do not click on cut if you dislike bugs and/or itches. actually don't click at all )

(15 comments | Reply)


August 23rd, 2016 06:57 pm - also, wips meme
which is also going around and I needed motivation to get back on writing treadmill:

(This is only things that are new stories since the last time I did the meme, which is...more than it should be, less than I'd like.)


Nina on the Rocks )

Maybe Next Year )


A Chain We'll Never Break )

this one doesn't deserve a title yet )

(2 comments | Reply)


August 22nd, 2016 09:54 am - Dreamwidth Meme
..because all the Imzy invites are making me feel disloyal and I really do love it here!
borrowed from several different people on my list )

Tags:

(5 comments | Reply)


August 17th, 2016 01:43 pm
1. Thanks to an invite from [personal profile] sineala, I am now namesquatting on Imzy! I dislike that it's a closed community - that without an account, nobody can see your content, which makes it not too worky as anybody's main social media presence (and not a great place to build an archive) - but other than that, it seems to be doing a lot of the things that fandom has been searching for, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's the next place we colonize en masse. I have five invites now apparently, if I can figure out how to distribute them.

ETA: FIFTY-FIVE. If you want one, go here: my imzy request link

If your email doesn't match your DW, or if you want me to confirm that I sent the invite, leave a comment to let me know. (If I can't determine that you are someone I've interacted with and you don't comment I might or might not send the invite.)

/end ETA

When you sign up it asks you for your interests and then recommends communities for you to join and I was a little bit creeped out that it was listing mostly fandom communities for fandoms I'm in, had it somehow found my other social media accounts when I wasn't looking, but then I realized it's probably just an artifact of the way the closed beta is diffusing through fandom.

2. OK I did not expect the post about orbital mechanics to be the one that got more than 30 comments. You go, DW! Can't fandom just stay here where it's nice forever? ):

Anyway, I thought to myself that I need a book on orbital dynamics that I know will be reasonably clearly written but not too oversimplified, so I'm now reading my sister's master's thesis, and have already discovered that the Interplanetary Superhighway is a thing! Well, theoretically a thing. Very theoretically. It uses gravity assists and Lagrange boosters and stuff, but anyway that's the search term I should have been starting with, probably.

Next step: figure out how to eat soup in centi- to milli-gravity. (Microgravity is the ISS, that's easy; decigravity is the moon, been there done that. In between, I'm afraid I might have to be looking at, like, fractional crystallization in the early solar system to find anyone looking at fluid in milligravity. *sigh* I just want them to feed each other soup and cuddle in hammocks okay.

3. It has been "make a dragon wanna retire" hot here. When I was at con.txt Best Roommate [personal profile] hannah brought me a bottle of fancy raspberry switchel (I did not bring anyone presents because I am not Best Roommate), which I have been drinking in a cocktail of ~2 tbsp switchel + water over Sprite ice cubes in a highball glass, and it makes a good before-bed cordial, even if the Sprite ice cubes are probably not good enough to be allowed near the switchel. I have a bottle of blueberry switchel I got at Big Lots awhile back, I am looking forward to trying that with the Sprite ice and muddled blueberries.

(Previously I had had homemade molasses switchel with a 17th century recipe, which was a somewhat different thing from these, but was a great way to keep drinking water drinkable in the sun at Pennsic. And also had brandy in it, unlike this milktoast modern stuff. I kinda want to try that recipe with raspberry pulp in it now, though.)

(51 comments | Reply)


August 11th, 2016 03:09 pm - Question for the Internet
So, if you had a story set in an inhabited Solar System - where there were human settlements all the way from the Vulcanoids to Sedna - and there was a steady cargo and passenger traffic between Mercury and Venus and Earth and Mars and Ganymede and Titan and Titania and the Kuiper belt - and you were using, say, some kind of sublight reactionless drive so you were working with Age of Sail-level travel times and minimal weird shit in the physics - would there be, for lack of a better term, "trade routes"?

That is, assuming each ship is taking the quickest ballistic course from one planet to the next nearest, would a steady stream of takeoffs produce a continuous-ish curve of ships moving through space, or would it be sensitive enough to initial conditions that you'd get ships scattered all through the areas around the ecliptic? Or would it make no sense to have a steady stream of takeoffs in the first place, even with fast reactionless drives, rather than riding the planets until they're closer?

I feel like this is something SF should have answered for me already but I'm not actually remembering anything that deals with it in hard-SF detail. Probably because orbits are hard.

Instinct says you would get a "trade route" - one that was wildly curvy and swung around a lot relative to the ecliptic, and where the planets weren't always visited in the same order, and maybe discontinuous around oppositions and conjunctions, but where you could trace long lines of ships if you were looking down on the system from above.

Instinct also tells me my instinct is usually wrong when it comes to thinking about orbits.

Instinct also tells me that trying to working it out from the basic physics would take me down a long rabbit-hole. As would downloading Kerbal Space Program or some other launch simulator.

(34 comments | Reply)


August 9th, 2016 05:06 pm - Rolling Remix!
So, rolling remix! I am super-late getting my guesses out but I SWEAR I didn't cheat and look at the answers first. (It got a lot harder once the deadline was passed because I couldn't go back and reference the actual stories themselves for fear of seeing answers, so I had to do the final couple passes working just from my notes:

Anyway, my final best-fit tree, in PHYLIP tree format, is:
(BETWEENTHE,(((((((SEVENTEENM,HEARTSKIPP),IREMEMBERS),LETSLIPTHE),ONREFLECTI),MIRROR),DEFCON3),((((((ASTORYALLA,SKININTHEG),OLDDOGSAND),THISISHOWI),NOTTHEONET),SIDEWINDER),FOURQUIETL),((((((REDHOTANDB,FAMILYTHEH),IFONEOFTHE),CANYOUKEEP),RAISONSDET),THEREISNOI),TENUOUSCON)));

...Which comes out as

Initial Story: Between the Wars

Stream 1, codename: CHURROS
Defcon3
Mirror
On Reflection
Let Slip the Dogs of War
I Remember Standing By The Wall
Heart Skipped a Beat
Seventeen Minutes

Stream 2, codename: AVATAR
Four Quiet Lives
Sidewinder, Microcosm
Not The One To Praise
This Is How It Goes
Old Dogs And New Tricks
Skin In The Game
A Story All About

Stream 3, codename: CONDIMENT
Tenuous Connection
There Is No In-Between
Raison d'Etre
Can You Keep A Secret
If One Of Them Is Dead
Family
Red, Hot & Blue

I am still super-unsure about some of those, though. Especially which one was the initial story. It's interesting, though, that even though many of the stories are drastically different in content, they do all still feel like they're part of the same conversation? Like, I could buy that they were all written for the same exchange prompt (It would be a prompt for gen, family, secrets, and female characters' origin stories.)

Now I finally get to go see just how wrong I was!

(3 comments | Reply)


August 3rd, 2016 10:17 pm
So I am back from con.txt! It was fun. If you would like to hear about con.txt, give me a letter A-Z and I will talk about stuff. (Hey, it worked for Iceland last summer...)

Since then I have been busily teaching myself how to use the phylip suite of cladistics programs. Why, you ask? Because MCU Rolling Remix went live, and I have two more days to attempt to reconstruct the phylogeny from scratch. (Well, okay, I know which one I remixed and which one is mine, and that's it.)

(Rolling Remix is a new kind of fest where one person writes a story and then it gets remixed and then that gets remixed so on down the chain. There were three chains starting from the first story resulting in 22 total stories - the original and three chains of seven.)

Phylip using just characters as charactesr got me a good starting place; now I am actually reading the stories, in the order suggested by the cladograms, to extract other characters that might improve the analysis (so far: churros).

(You might ask: did you really need to relearn cladistics just to make guess for a fic fest? To which I answer: did I *not* need to relearn cladistics?)

anyway I will not be trying to guess authors because that would require me to, like, be able to tell people apart, which is unlikely at the best of time (hello undifferentiated mass of con.txt people who were all amazing!) If you want to try to guess mine, I did not try particularly hard to disguise it, and also I hinted at my very favorite vanishingly-rare ship in the background.

(18 comments | Reply)


July 28th, 2016 12:34 pm - we're not cousins anymore
Speaking of Con.txt panels I am running, I am also running the Imperial Radch panel.

Current plan is to sing the song about the thousand eggs until someone in the audience volunteers to mod instead. (Alternatively, we just cast some omens and discuss whichever lines of the text Amaat wills.)

But now I am curious, what tune do you get the egg song stuck in your head to? I get stuck with "Make new friends, but keep the old", the old Brownie Girl Scout round:

Make new friends/ but keep the o-old
A thousand eggs/ all nice and wa-arm
One is silver/ and the other gold
Peep-peep peep peep a-/ nother chick is born.

It scans better with three peeps than four, and you have to sing nine-nine-nine eggs instead of nine-hundred-ninety-nine (etc.) but other than that it works pretty well. It's even a round so it would work really well for ancillary units and/or cars full of small children to sing ad infinitum!

("The Station Goes Around The Sun" is always Farmer in the Dell in my head, by the way, even though I know there are other tunes for it out there. The circle game would even work!)

(15 comments | Reply)


July 26th, 2016 06:44 pm
So. Busy. Have had so much to do it seems like there is no time left for anything-- we lost four of our most experienced people at work this month, and several of them were the sort of people who hoard responsibilities, so that's been fun. And then the friends I do comics with decided we were running a kickstarter NEXT MONTH so there's all my non-work free time. And then con.txt is in TWO DAYS and I totally over-extended myself there so we'll see if I get any of the 17 things on my "pre-con panic" checklist done. And then there's what's happening with church...

*shoves the 5,000+ words of new kent parson fanfic under the couch* that's not mine I haven't had time to write haha funny story actually it just blew off this dumpster, I think it caught an updraft from the fire

Plus it was Heat Wave Time so as soon as I get home from work I just want to melt into a 2-dimensional puddle with maximum heat-shedding surface area. Will I get four cosplays finished in the next two days? Stay tuned!

Anyway one of the panels I'm doing at con.txt is for AO3 tips & tricks, so, circle mine, what useful thing about the AO3 do you think I should share (ways to use the archive, docs or help resources, external tools, etc.)

(8 comments | Reply)


July 7th, 2016 07:51 pm - Bless Your Heart, Kent Parson
I maded a thing! It is 8,000 words of gay fictional hockey boys in Georgia, because sometimes you just gotta write what you gotta write.

Bless Your Heart, Kent Parson (8076 words) by melannen

Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Past Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann - Relationship
Characters: Eric "Dicky" Bittle, Jack Zimmermann, Coach Bittle, Suzanne Bittle, Kent "Parse" Parson
Additional Tags: Fourth of July, Meet the Family, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Transphobia, the period is USA 2015
Summary: Kenny's name had been coming up a lot. Partly because these days, it was hard to talk about the NHL without talking about Kent Parson. Partly because before Samwell, Jack's experience of an American Independence Day had always included a birthday party for Kenny. Partly because - well, because being in Madison with Bitty was. Well. Strange and uncomfortable, in a lot of ways, this week of all weeks, that maybe had Jack worrying at those old frayed ends more than usual.


...I am already getting in a discussion in comments about whether I violated canon. It's so weird to write in a fandom where people still give a crap about canonicity, I am not used to it anymore.



In other news, I have made a huge Mistake. So my sister's cats are here, right? So the older one - she's fifteen and has been having health issues - spent the first couple nights here sitting in the living room, yowling horribly until somebody went out to tell her it was okay. In my sister's one-bedroom apartment, she had line-of-sight on the bedroom from her preferred sleeping spot, so we thought maybe she was waking up and getting upset because there was nobody around.

So I thought to myself, hey, she really likes getting brushed, so I'll take her onto my bed at bedtime and brush her, and maybe she'll learn it's a safe friendly place and not get all lonely out in the living room. BAD IDEA.

Days until she had realized bedtime = brushings and she was waiting for me: 3
Days until she decided I was staying up too late and tried to get me there sooner: 5
Days until I couldn't go into my room at all anymore without a cat hopping up ready for brushings: 7

I can't go in my own bedroom anymore without someone trying to tell me it's bedtime and I should brush her. I am CAPTIVE in my OWN HOME.

At least she doesn't sit alone in the living room and yowl anymore. Now she comes in my room and yowls into my face until I wake up enough to pet her.

(10 comments | Reply)


June 29th, 2016 06:04 pm
1. So that was A Month And A Half. It was mostly fun, but hopefully I can start getting back into a sort of a routine that involves not being behind on nearly everything. Except that two staff members - 20% of the total staff - are leaving my workplace, so *work* will not be back to routine anytime soon. Sigh. Also I have four con-txt panels to prep for and I want to maybe sell crafts and do some easy cosplays too? We shall see.

2. Part of that Month And A Half is that there are cats here now! I have been trying to post a-cat-a-day at [tumblr.com profile] thingskittiesdontneed - they are mostly crappy phone shots, but hey, kitties.

3. Also I finished another original story! In very early draft, still haven't revised anything, etc. etc. but now I have finished the three stories I started last year thinking they'd each be a simple 5000 words! This latest one is about librarians who fight evil by increasing access to information, because you should write the stories you want to see in the world, right? It is currently 14,000 words. Out of a planned 5000. (NEVER make a monkey's paw wish that you could write longer stories. just sayin'.)

4. In good news, I am really improving in my cardio workout, who needs Zombies, Run! when you can just turn on NPR for the same effect, amirite.

5. So when I just want to read some nice, comforting slash fic and don't really care what, I turn to Pinboard's popular-with-fandom pages. Not as good as the old Del.icio.us popular pages, but serviceable as long as you aren't picky.

Pinboard's page is filtered by people who voluntarily ID as fans, rather than by tag, though, so you often get non-fannish stuff on there. Mostly net-wide-trending longreads and web industry stuff (because pinboard's main demographic is infotech professionals.) Sometimes I skim down the page and get the two kinds of links mixed up, though, so here for your enjoyment are the current non-fic pinboard links that really should be fic:

"On The Moral Economy of Tech"
(probably a Tony Stark story lbr)

"The Reluctant Memoirist"
(Could be any fandom but I'm leaning toward Harry/Draco.)

"Life as a Robot"
(This is probably a hockey AU? I'm honestly surprised there aren't AO3 results for this already.)

"anime.js"
(Weeaboo AU, pick your fandom.)

"My Four Months As A Private Prison Guard"
(This is either shameless porn or it's a post-CA:CW longfic...or both)

"Type Anything"
(Could be any fandom really! Probably a juggernaut pairing feelgood AU.)

"Hamburger Menus and Hidden Navigation"
(DEFINITELY road trip fic, not sure what fandom though.)

"MarkSheet: a free HTML and CSS tutorial"
(Old Social Network porn that somehow floated back up to the top.)

"How To Build A Word Counter App"
(Probably dirty talk pwp? Probably PoI?)

"Medium’s team did everything”
(Not actually sure so this is probably a small fandom I've never read before.)

"Getting Started With Raspberry Pi"
(Probably Check Please! Might be about Bitty and the frogs rather than slashfic though.)

"The Feynman Technique"
(IDK, probably scientist slash in some super-geeky SF fandom. Pac Rim? The Martian?)

"how to cheer up a grumpy hedgehog"
(hi there Sherlock fandom it's been awhile)

"How to Steal An Election"
(I think I may be currently writing this fic...)

"Casual Sex: Everyone is Doing It"
(hahah. um. Avengers teamfic, you think? Probably Avengers teamfic, pic your pairings, but definitely a lot of snarky Cap.)

(17 comments | Reply)


June 18th, 2016 02:37 pm
Oh! Did I mention I finally watched Age of Ultron?

I hadn't been in a hurry to see it because fandom had given me the inpression it was extremely missable.

Somehow fandom failed to inform me that the plot of Age of Ultron is:

One of the Avengers loses his best friend and partner, the person who's know him better than any other for longer than any other through bad and good. He goes down while fighting a supervillain, the Avenger blames himself, then discovers his best friend might be alive but amnesiac in enemy hands. So he decides screw everything, screw the world and his friends and good sense, he's getting his best friend back. So he says "This is the end of the line," while his other friend is telling him to stop, and saves him, but discovers that he's not quite the same person he was before, and he may now carry the seeds of destruction deep in his mind.

(And then Civil War is the story of two Avengers both failing to deal well with having lost-but-not-quite-lost their best friends.)

I mean. Kids. Tony literally said "This is the end of the line." Why was fandom not all over this, loudly, on Tumblr.

(9 comments | Reply)


June 15th, 2016 05:06 pm
Hi long time no see!

I have a new-old laptop now which actually has, like a working battery! *And* keyboard! And hard drive! And power cord! And even a backup drive! And it takes less than 30 minutes to start up and do stuff!

My sister is very nice to me and also very enabling RE: me never just getting off my butt and buying new stuff when my old stuff breaks.

...the old one never quite became nonfunctional but it became Very Frustrating And Scary To Use what with the messages about how the hard drive could fail any moment and random bluescreens, so I got behind on a LOT of computer stuff.

Most urgent message:

Today is the last day to apply for one of the scholarships to Con.Txt, my home fannish con - it used to technically be a slash con but they have finally admitted they are more just a general transfromative works con. I tell people that it's basically like spending a weekend wasting time in the fannish parts of DW except in person, and it's basically that.

Anyway they have need-based scholarships for anyone who needs help and a Con or Bust scholarship for POC that still need applicants for this year, so if you're thinking about going but aren't sure you can afford it, it's really worth applying.

If you're thinking about going but can't afford it and also aren't local, if you get the scholarship I will offer you a) half of a king-sized bed if you don't mind sharing with me, b) a ride to and from the Baltimore-area transit hub of your choice, and c) the opportunity to hang around with me all weekend so you don't look lost and lonely*

*this part of the offer is selfish because it will also keep me from looking lost and lonely.


(also if you want to co-mod an imperial radch or AO3 panel w/ me please tell me, panel modding is super-fun i promise!)

(4 comments | Reply)


May 18th, 2016 07:52 am
I am technically on vacation (read: helping sister move) and super-behind on everything computer, but we did go see ca:cw finally yesterday.

That movie was the best attempt I have ever seen at translating the feeling of reading a major superhero comics event book to the big screen. I am not sure if that is a compliment or not but if that's what they wee trying to do they did it perfectly.

two comments on characters )

None of my wip fanfic is any more jossed than it was before so there's that. (Does anyone else get the experience of watching new canon and going "wow that was a super-cool reference back to that one scene. In that fanfic nobody but me has ever read.")

(22 comments | Reply)


May 11th, 2016 01:10 pm
I accidentally finished reading The Scorpion Rules last night instead of all the many many other things I am way behind on. It's very good, as pretty much everyone who's read it has said, and if you like that sort of thing you should definitely read it. It starts out seeming like it's going to be your average formulaic SF dystopia where repressed, good-girl, Special protagonist meets Manic Pixie Dream Boy and decides to turn against The Man with him even though it seems hopeless, but then about halfway through, MPDB's badass grandma appears and everything suddenly goes off-script.

Anyway, somebody talk to me about:

1. Just how much Ardmagar Comonot, Anaander Miaanai, and now Michael Talis are apparently MY TYPE;
(1a. effectively immortal; all-powerful rulers who have given in to 100% pragmatism at the cost of conscience but do not enjoy this; are not quite human; are finding this whole "embodiment" thing more complicated than you might think; cope with this through acting out.)
2. How much I regret learning that they are MY TYPE;
3. Why I have suddenly discovered three of them in A ROW none of whom have large fandoms help;

(7 comments | Reply)


April 29th, 2016 10:43 am - Garden update, feat. discussion of phobias
So when I was a kid, and people asked what you were scared of, I always said "vines and climbing plants". Which, you know, even then was probably more of squick than a phobia, but I didn't have anything I was really terrified of, other than, you know, the standard stuff like "my parents dying" and "forced social interaction" and "making phone calls" and that's kind of a downer when they want you to draw a picture of it.

But you will admit that plants that move so fast you can see it happening and have little hairs that grow into things and strangle them and pull down buildings and trees and mountains. Are creepy. (Also I read a short story in Ranger Rick Magazine about a kid who watched too much television and got covered in vines that grew him into the couch, which *was* pretty authentically terrifying okay.)

I though I was mostly over it because around here you can't really go outside anywhere but manicured lawns without being okay with climbers and tendrils and runners, plus pulling down wild grapevine is actually really satisfying and you have to be willing to touch it to do that, but then yesterday I went out on the back porch and discovered that the Trail of Tears pole beans I started last week (on KUEC's rec) had come up and then grown over eight inches tall *in two days* and, friends, I am apparently still capable of being scared of climbing plants. They are bigger than the dirt I planted them in, and all the dirt is still there. SORCERY.

I had a dream last night that they had found the sticks I put aside for trellis and coiled around them and pulled them up and were waving them around stabbing people.

(Mushrooms and spiders and mice and snakes and frogs and millipedes* and worms? Adorable, I would like to pet them please. Triffids? boring and also incredibly disability-phobic. Old Man Willow? Eh, kinda creepy, but also kinda restful-sounding. Pea plants? Wisteria? Jesus fuck, dodder? RUN.)


*Millipedes, not centipedes. Centipedes aren't scary but when they move they just have an aura of "thing that should not be" about them. I teach people that you can tell the difference between centipedes and millipedes because millipedes are little hard-shelled caterpillar-like creatures, and centipedes make the human hindbrain go 'augh why all the skittery legs make it stop' and so far this has not failed me.

(30 comments | Reply)


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