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Did I mention liking grown-up love stories? Yes?
So people have been rec'cing stuff left and right lately - srs bzness burnout, I guess, combined with a bunch of fests and challenges coming due. And there's this one SGA story everybody (including me) loves, which is an absolute confection of a John/Rodney forced marriage romance. Only of course the premise under which they get married is totally bogus, and there's a bunch of whining about that in the comments already.
Me? I could care less about that, because it gets me, y'know, John/Rodney forced marriage fic. No. What is bothering the living heck out of me is that there's a scene where "pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers" are referenced, and the author thinks it's *Trix*. And it's not like I could just drop a line suggesting she change the reference (like she ought to change the typo in the first line) because the scene would be totally different if they were talking about leprechauns and lucky charms instead of trix and rabbits. But it would *also* be totally different if they were referring to 'rainbow fruit' instead, because then the gay would outweigh the tacky. And since the point is how dorky they are, I can't believe it's in character that they'd mix it up, and the whole scene *totally doesn't work at all*.
...there. Now maybe I can resist the temptation to go say that in her comments. </OCD>
I've also read a couple SPN AUs, because I gobble "Jess is Alive" threesome AUs like candy, and that combined with that vid with all the dead wimmens in it makes me really want a Jess-is-alive AU where Jess is in charge of her own life, and kicks ass because she fuckin' wants to. It's not like all the AUs I've read weren't awesome and asskicking, but even in nearly all of those, the version of Jess's story we get is about how she motivates the boys, not about her becoming her own person in her own right. Y'know, actual agency. And then maybe she could show Sam and Dean how to be in love without being codependent, and wouldn't *that* be a miracle?
So we need to get her just hurt enough by the demon to piss her off, without making her tragic. So, let's say, the night of the fire, she's not actually in bed in her frilly white nightgown - she's sitting on the couch in old sweats and Sam's t-shirt, eating ben & jerry's out of the carton, and watching WWF on VHS tapes while getting more and more annoyed at Sam for just running out like that before his interview. And she runs out of ice cream and goes down to the corner store to get more, and when she gets back, the apartment's on fire, because the demon just assumed she'd be playing her part like a good little girl and started the party without checking. And then he realizes the apartment's empty, so he fakes, say, a baby crying to get her to run back in. But by that time Sam and Dean are back, and Dean pulls her out before she's got worse than smoke inhalation and a few 2nd degree burns, and Sam runs in after the baby but the minute he walks in the door all the flames just. go out.
So she stays over at the hospital a few nights and there's some scarring, okay, but it's never even life-threatening, and she forces Sam to go to his interview anyway, so Sam's still mostly at the stage of blaming Dean. But she makes them tell her everything, and then she looks straight at Dean and she says, "Right. So how are we going to kill this thing?" and they try to talk her into staying at Stanford and finishing her English degree, but, y'know, she has a right to be angry, and to fight, just as much as they do, and finally Dean agrees to take her - but she makes Sam stay at Stanford and finish his degree and his internship because it's not his fight, and they can both tell his heart's not in it the way that Dean's is. And Jess's is, or could be.
So Dean and Jess hit the road, and Jess isn't the fastest learner ever but she knows how to shut up and listen, which is more than Sammy ever managed, and she doesn't whine about the music or try to drive (until he volunteers to teach her stick, because that's just ridiculous) and before long she's helping more than she's getting in the way. And she knows almost as much embarrassing stuff about Sammy as Dean does, and she calls him in California every single night, no matter how late they get in, and Dean busies himself while they talk quietly before she says "I love you" and hands the phone over to him without another word, and it's almost as good as Sam being there himself, especially when they're done fighting and collapse over each other in the front seat of the Impala and laugh. And, okay, she looks damn hot, dragging him out to the dance floor in a little tank top with the burns all down her arms like cursive, but he's not going there. Because they're both grown-ups - all three of them - and things are too complicated, and blondes aren't his type anyway. And they've talked about this, him and Jess, and they've agreed it's not worth it, and they both know it's *true*, and besides she has this sort of weird *thing* going on with Jo. And then one night Jess hands him the phone and goes into the shower and Sam asks "So you know eventually you two are going to get drunk and fuck, right?" and Dean tries to deny it, but Sam just laughs and says "You forget, dude, I *know* you. I just - listen, I want you to know that when it finally happens I'm not going to let that screw us up, okay? Just - promise you'll tell me about it. In lurid detail. I figure if she's fucking somebody else I should at least get jerk-off material out of it."
And the funny thing is - okay, the damn *ironic* thing is, that with Sam's fucking condescending preemptive pardon hanging over them, they don't even get around to it, until suddenly Sam's *graduating* and he's got few months off before he sits the bar, and he's standing in front of them in his black suit like he was born to it, just *staring* at Jess like he's never seen her before - and okay, he hasn't seen her since the burns finished healing, and she's filled out a little and she walks different, but still - and then they're just wrapped around each other, until Sam drops her and picks *Dean* up and swings *him* around like Dean's a little girl, and they're all grinning so much it hurts.
And then Sam's got to help his roommate move down to LA, so Dean and Jess take a quick weekend job, and of course *that's* when it finally happens, whiskey on their breaths against the motel blanket, and how the *fuck* is he supposed to tell Sam about *that* when Sam's sitting right next to him instead of two thousand miles on the other end of the phone line where he belongs?
...and Dean doesn't even have time to even *think* about where the fuck *that* came from, because suddenly Dad shows up out of wherever-the-hell and it all goes to *shit* real fast.
ETA: And yeah, it's all Dean's fault, because he shouldn't have let Sammy going haring off after his weird 'vision' after Dad told them not to under any circumstances, but he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Dad *or* the Demon in over a year, so what did he expect Sam to do, when people were dying? And anyway Jess would've followed him no matter what, so Dean had to keep an eye out, and now he and Sam are tied up in a basement with this freaky possessed chick, and she keeps *doing* stuff to Sam. The only good thing is that it must not be interested in Jess anymore, since it just dumped her by the side of the road (assuming it left her alive.)
And he's not even sure if Sam's conscious, but he says, "So me and Jess fucked last weekend" because, well, he promised he'd tell, and who knows when he'll get a better chance. And when Sammy doesn't respond he goes into the whole sordid thing in detail, and then he says, "Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but" and Sam cuts him off with a weak laugh. "And so you tell me *now*? Do you seriously think I'm in any condition to jerk off, Dean?" and everything's okay again. Especially after Dad kicks down the door, with Jess right behind him, and as he leans over Dean to look at the knots he jerks his head toward Jess and says, "So where'd you pick up the spitfire, Dean?" and Dean laughs and says, "Not me, Dad, that one's all Sam's," and Dad glances over to where Jess is working on Sam's ropes and says, "Huh," and cuts through Dean's bonds in one stroke. Just in time, because that's when demon chick shows up again, and Dad has the colt out and aimed in half a second, but she gets Sam in a headlock between them and the shot, and with just a second's hesitation Dad throws the gun over their heads to Jess, who snatches it out of the air and holds it steady as a rock right to her forehead, and the demon laughs and says "You won't shoot." And Jess says, "Wrong," and blows its brains out. And then she says, "That's for every single wife and mother and girlfried you've killed. But mostly for Dean's mom." And then she spits on the corpse.
The end.
Please tell me somebody's already written that fic, and I don't have to read all 83 del.icio.us pages tagged "spn AU jess" looking for it in vain. ^_^
Me? I could care less about that, because it gets me, y'know, John/Rodney forced marriage fic. No. What is bothering the living heck out of me is that there's a scene where "pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers" are referenced, and the author thinks it's *Trix*. And it's not like I could just drop a line suggesting she change the reference (like she ought to change the typo in the first line) because the scene would be totally different if they were talking about leprechauns and lucky charms instead of trix and rabbits. But it would *also* be totally different if they were referring to 'rainbow fruit' instead, because then the gay would outweigh the tacky. And since the point is how dorky they are, I can't believe it's in character that they'd mix it up, and the whole scene *totally doesn't work at all*.
...there. Now maybe I can resist the temptation to go say that in her comments. </OCD>
I've also read a couple SPN AUs, because I gobble "Jess is Alive" threesome AUs like candy, and that combined with that vid with all the dead wimmens in it makes me really want a Jess-is-alive AU where Jess is in charge of her own life, and kicks ass because she fuckin' wants to. It's not like all the AUs I've read weren't awesome and asskicking, but even in nearly all of those, the version of Jess's story we get is about how she motivates the boys, not about her becoming her own person in her own right. Y'know, actual agency. And then maybe she could show Sam and Dean how to be in love without being codependent, and wouldn't *that* be a miracle?
So we need to get her just hurt enough by the demon to piss her off, without making her tragic. So, let's say, the night of the fire, she's not actually in bed in her frilly white nightgown - she's sitting on the couch in old sweats and Sam's t-shirt, eating ben & jerry's out of the carton, and watching WWF on VHS tapes while getting more and more annoyed at Sam for just running out like that before his interview. And she runs out of ice cream and goes down to the corner store to get more, and when she gets back, the apartment's on fire, because the demon just assumed she'd be playing her part like a good little girl and started the party without checking. And then he realizes the apartment's empty, so he fakes, say, a baby crying to get her to run back in. But by that time Sam and Dean are back, and Dean pulls her out before she's got worse than smoke inhalation and a few 2nd degree burns, and Sam runs in after the baby but the minute he walks in the door all the flames just. go out.
So she stays over at the hospital a few nights and there's some scarring, okay, but it's never even life-threatening, and she forces Sam to go to his interview anyway, so Sam's still mostly at the stage of blaming Dean. But she makes them tell her everything, and then she looks straight at Dean and she says, "Right. So how are we going to kill this thing?" and they try to talk her into staying at Stanford and finishing her English degree, but, y'know, she has a right to be angry, and to fight, just as much as they do, and finally Dean agrees to take her - but she makes Sam stay at Stanford and finish his degree and his internship because it's not his fight, and they can both tell his heart's not in it the way that Dean's is. And Jess's is, or could be.
So Dean and Jess hit the road, and Jess isn't the fastest learner ever but she knows how to shut up and listen, which is more than Sammy ever managed, and she doesn't whine about the music or try to drive (until he volunteers to teach her stick, because that's just ridiculous) and before long she's helping more than she's getting in the way. And she knows almost as much embarrassing stuff about Sammy as Dean does, and she calls him in California every single night, no matter how late they get in, and Dean busies himself while they talk quietly before she says "I love you" and hands the phone over to him without another word, and it's almost as good as Sam being there himself, especially when they're done fighting and collapse over each other in the front seat of the Impala and laugh. And, okay, she looks damn hot, dragging him out to the dance floor in a little tank top with the burns all down her arms like cursive, but he's not going there. Because they're both grown-ups - all three of them - and things are too complicated, and blondes aren't his type anyway. And they've talked about this, him and Jess, and they've agreed it's not worth it, and they both know it's *true*, and besides she has this sort of weird *thing* going on with Jo. And then one night Jess hands him the phone and goes into the shower and Sam asks "So you know eventually you two are going to get drunk and fuck, right?" and Dean tries to deny it, but Sam just laughs and says "You forget, dude, I *know* you. I just - listen, I want you to know that when it finally happens I'm not going to let that screw us up, okay? Just - promise you'll tell me about it. In lurid detail. I figure if she's fucking somebody else I should at least get jerk-off material out of it."
And the funny thing is - okay, the damn *ironic* thing is, that with Sam's fucking condescending preemptive pardon hanging over them, they don't even get around to it, until suddenly Sam's *graduating* and he's got few months off before he sits the bar, and he's standing in front of them in his black suit like he was born to it, just *staring* at Jess like he's never seen her before - and okay, he hasn't seen her since the burns finished healing, and she's filled out a little and she walks different, but still - and then they're just wrapped around each other, until Sam drops her and picks *Dean* up and swings *him* around like Dean's a little girl, and they're all grinning so much it hurts.
And then Sam's got to help his roommate move down to LA, so Dean and Jess take a quick weekend job, and of course *that's* when it finally happens, whiskey on their breaths against the motel blanket, and how the *fuck* is he supposed to tell Sam about *that* when Sam's sitting right next to him instead of two thousand miles on the other end of the phone line where he belongs?
...and Dean doesn't even have time to even *think* about where the fuck *that* came from, because suddenly Dad shows up out of wherever-the-hell and it all goes to *shit* real fast.
ETA: And yeah, it's all Dean's fault, because he shouldn't have let Sammy going haring off after his weird 'vision' after Dad told them not to under any circumstances, but he hadn't seen hide nor hair of Dad *or* the Demon in over a year, so what did he expect Sam to do, when people were dying? And anyway Jess would've followed him no matter what, so Dean had to keep an eye out, and now he and Sam are tied up in a basement with this freaky possessed chick, and she keeps *doing* stuff to Sam. The only good thing is that it must not be interested in Jess anymore, since it just dumped her by the side of the road (assuming it left her alive.)
And he's not even sure if Sam's conscious, but he says, "So me and Jess fucked last weekend" because, well, he promised he'd tell, and who knows when he'll get a better chance. And when Sammy doesn't respond he goes into the whole sordid thing in detail, and then he says, "Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but" and Sam cuts him off with a weak laugh. "And so you tell me *now*? Do you seriously think I'm in any condition to jerk off, Dean?" and everything's okay again. Especially after Dad kicks down the door, with Jess right behind him, and as he leans over Dean to look at the knots he jerks his head toward Jess and says, "So where'd you pick up the spitfire, Dean?" and Dean laughs and says, "Not me, Dad, that one's all Sam's," and Dad glances over to where Jess is working on Sam's ropes and says, "Huh," and cuts through Dean's bonds in one stroke. Just in time, because that's when demon chick shows up again, and Dad has the colt out and aimed in half a second, but she gets Sam in a headlock between them and the shot, and with just a second's hesitation Dad throws the gun over their heads to Jess, who snatches it out of the air and holds it steady as a rock right to her forehead, and the demon laughs and says "You won't shoot." And Jess says, "Wrong," and blows its brains out. And then she says, "That's for every single wife and mother and girlfried you've killed. But mostly for Dean's mom." And then she spits on the corpse.
The end.
Please tell me somebody's already written that fic, and I don't have to read all 83 del.icio.us pages tagged "spn AU jess" looking for it in vain. ^_^
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In the overanalyzing cereal department, I had to sing the song to myself to confirm that it's "blue moons" but I think that was a relatively late cahnge and so McKay and Shep would probably think of them as yellow moons.
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There are *so* many fics that people have told me I need to write. And then I sit around and read fic and don't write anything. Or even get around to re-watching canon preparatory to fic writing. ^_^ (I'm adding a proper ending to that summary up there, though, just in case I ever want to remember.)
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I've seen a few Mary the Hunter fics, but they often end up with some of the same gender-politics problems as the show, just inverted - ones where Mary becomes a witch instead of a Hunter, or something, because of course she can't be as kickass as John. Monkeycrackmary did some awesome stuff with Mary, but she's locked all her fic on lj and hasn't crossposted yet.
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(Anonymous) 2007-08-22 01:13 am (UTC)(link)1. the trix thing threw me too, because: lucky CHARMS! John knows better than that.
2. I know SPN not at all, but I agree with the legions of people that say you should write (more).
- siegeofangels.
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And yeah, no way John gets the cereals wrong! Completely unbelievable.
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(Anonymous) 2007-08-22 10:35 am (UTC)(link)CEREAL, on the other hand, I cannot suspend my disbelief for.
I *would* ask you for an account, but I think I'd be doing little but camping the username. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, I'm not planning on leaving LJ any time soon.
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Hmm if you're looking for Jess AU threesomes you might check out
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Apparently I can. Good to know!
Hi! You've inspired a complete stranger to write epic SPN fanfic. :) My evil twin is out at band rehearsal right now, but hopefully I can get the first scene and the rest of the outline out tomorrow.
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Excuse me while I squee all over.
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Anyway! First part is up, I got nominated to link you. XD http://archiveofourown.org/works/277424
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I have to say I didn't anticipate being an enabling enabler about this for Jag; you would think I would know better by now but we've both been out of SPN fandom since s5. >.> But! I guess I'm glad I succeeded. :D