fandom meme?

[melannen]

It's a weird day, y'all, and it's been awhile since I've done something like this, so: have a shipping meme.

Give me a fandom in the comments and I will tell you which pairing or poly ship in that fandom:

1. Is the forever ship of my heart
2. Is the one I don't have a lot of feelings about but know I can always go back to for long comfort fic
3. Has the best porn
4. Is just NO

(Caveat: fandom must be large enough to have significant amounts of fic for at least four pairings)
(Caveat 2: it does not have to be a fandom you have heard me talk about much or recently, because let's face it, if it has that much fic I have probably read enough to be able to answer these, although that is not a dare.)
(Caveat 3: all answers to 4 are in the spirit of ykinmkato because I am enough of an Old to believe in that.)

Comments

[luzula]

Um. Could you possibly link me to the entish smut? And does it have pollination?

[espresso_addict]

I think I might have been over-estimating the entish smut component; the story I was particularly recalling is Vulgarweed's gorgeous but melancholic Lomendánar (Little Love for the Things of My Love) which was written for lbgtfest. She's also written By Root and Twig (Merry/Pippin/Treebeard), which might be more what you are looking for and does indeed feature pollen.

The pioneering sexy-ent writer I recall is Teasel: How Quickbeam got his name, but it's sadly only a drabble. I thought she'd written some more, but I can't find it.

[luzula]

Oh, I podficced Lomendánar years ago; it's a lovely fic!

I'll check out the others and see if it matches my idea of entish smut. In my head, the ents would be just barely touching each other and the rest would basically be plant pollination, but you know, it's all in how they'd experience it.

Although now I'm wondering--some trees have both male and female blossoms at the same time, and some have only male blossoms one year, but another year they can have female blossoms. So the divide between ents and entwives wouldn't really be that clear. Or maybe that divide is more about whether they want to live in wilderness or traditional agricultural landscapes than gender anyway. And it doesn't seem like they're limited by tree species boundaries in who they're attracted to--I mean, Treebeard who is beech or oak-like talks about a birch maiden. Hmm.

[espresso_addict]

Your gender ideas are fascinating; you should write them! I'd definitely assumed that different tree species would pair, but you are of course right that that's hardly the natural reproductive method...

[luzula]

I would like to! But I can't seem to make ent reproductive biology work without it either being botanically inaccurate or incompatible with canon. : ( I made a post about it here, do come help me out...

[stultiloquentia]

I REMEMBER THIS ONE. Oh gosh, was it Vulgarweed? It was probably Vulgarweed. She's moved on to giant spider smut lately, bless.

And yes, there was a lot of tree jizz. Veritable clouds.

[espresso_addict]

You are thinking of Vulgarweed's By Root and Twig (linked above and too lazy to repeat).

[stultiloquentia]

I knew it! :D

[melannen]

Ooh, giant spider smut!

[espresso_addict]

The giant spider smut is amazing!