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Five Avengers Stories That Someone Should Be Writing Right Now
1. So I've heard about this Thing that is apparently going on in Avengers fandom, where Peter Parker is somehow Tony and Steve's kid? I haven't read any of them, because the setup trips my Canon Logic circuits too hard. But if you do want bb!Peter to end up being parented by Avengers, this is how to do it without tripping my Canon Logic circuits (and also hits my shipper circuits, yes):
Twice-orphaned superhero Peter Parker alters his smartphone with a better voice-activated search application he calls MAI (Modified Artificial Intelligence), to help him while he's out webslinging (and keep him company). Eventually he falls into the middle of an Avengers fight, and JARVIS discovers MAI, and then starts secretly sending her system upgrades; they fall in love. Peter shows up at Avengers Tower asking why his AI has been acting strange ever since that fight, he and Tony realize what JARVIS and MAI have been up to, and Tony declares it adorable and insist they move in. JARVIS and MAI work together to mother-hen everybody even better than either can on their own.
2. I picked up a copy of Men Who Stare At Goats (the supposedly-nonfiction book, not the movie), and now I want General Ross to have spent most of the late '70s and early '80s up to his eyebrows in First Earth Battalion woo, meditating and levitating and 'attuning brain waves' and primal arm-wrestling and sending soldiers against the enemy with flowers and baby lambs and hug power. In fact, this is pretty much my canon now - the book even namechecks General Ross because some of the stuff from the Hulk movie was right out of the New Age Army playbook. IT JUST MAKES SENSE that a guy who ended up on the supersoldier project would have started out there.
I have no idea how to turn this into a story, but I really want someone to figure it out.
3. People in Loki fandom like to bring in Loki's kids and Loki's motherhood experience. I want a story in which it is pointed out that Loki isn't the only one who occasionally gets bored and creates new life just because he can, because Tony does that stuff all the time, and then somehow or other Tony and Loki end up being each other's single motherhood support group. Bonus points if Loki baby-sits the robots sometimes and it's adorable and terrifying, extra bonus points if Loki rescues them from a kidnapper and goes all maternal protective rage, and Tony doesn't understand why the other Avengers are disturbed by this.
Character realism... optional.
4. An AU: In which Dr. Bruce Banner was overcome with white liberal guilt *before* that fateful gamma ray experiment, went out to help the poor of Asia, got captured by the Ten Rings, met Tony Stark in a cave full of scraps, saved Tony's life, talked him into changing his ways, and successfully got himself killed in the escape.
Meanwhile, Dr. Yinsen of Gulmira was recruited into a secret US Army program working with gamma ray immunity, there was a lab accident/poor experimental protocol, and he ended up with his very own green rage monster; he escaped military custody, fled back home to Asia, and managed to stay under the radar until the Black Widow recruited him into the Avengers Initiative to fight the Chitauri. He meets Tony Stark on the helicarrier and they bond immediately, and they live happily ever after as science buddies.
I mean I love Bruce too, but would not that version be really really awesome?
5. The rest of my Poly Big Bang draft, which needs to be done, um, tonight.
If any of these already exist and you know here they are, please tell me! Especially number 5.
Twice-orphaned superhero Peter Parker alters his smartphone with a better voice-activated search application he calls MAI (Modified Artificial Intelligence), to help him while he's out webslinging (and keep him company). Eventually he falls into the middle of an Avengers fight, and JARVIS discovers MAI, and then starts secretly sending her system upgrades; they fall in love. Peter shows up at Avengers Tower asking why his AI has been acting strange ever since that fight, he and Tony realize what JARVIS and MAI have been up to, and Tony declares it adorable and insist they move in. JARVIS and MAI work together to mother-hen everybody even better than either can on their own.
2. I picked up a copy of Men Who Stare At Goats (the supposedly-nonfiction book, not the movie), and now I want General Ross to have spent most of the late '70s and early '80s up to his eyebrows in First Earth Battalion woo, meditating and levitating and 'attuning brain waves' and primal arm-wrestling and sending soldiers against the enemy with flowers and baby lambs and hug power. In fact, this is pretty much my canon now - the book even namechecks General Ross because some of the stuff from the Hulk movie was right out of the New Age Army playbook. IT JUST MAKES SENSE that a guy who ended up on the supersoldier project would have started out there.
I have no idea how to turn this into a story, but I really want someone to figure it out.
3. People in Loki fandom like to bring in Loki's kids and Loki's motherhood experience. I want a story in which it is pointed out that Loki isn't the only one who occasionally gets bored and creates new life just because he can, because Tony does that stuff all the time, and then somehow or other Tony and Loki end up being each other's single motherhood support group. Bonus points if Loki baby-sits the robots sometimes and it's adorable and terrifying, extra bonus points if Loki rescues them from a kidnapper and goes all maternal protective rage, and Tony doesn't understand why the other Avengers are disturbed by this.
Character realism... optional.
4. An AU: In which Dr. Bruce Banner was overcome with white liberal guilt *before* that fateful gamma ray experiment, went out to help the poor of Asia, got captured by the Ten Rings, met Tony Stark in a cave full of scraps, saved Tony's life, talked him into changing his ways, and successfully got himself killed in the escape.
Meanwhile, Dr. Yinsen of Gulmira was recruited into a secret US Army program working with gamma ray immunity, there was a lab accident/poor experimental protocol, and he ended up with his very own green rage monster; he escaped military custody, fled back home to Asia, and managed to stay under the radar until the Black Widow recruited him into the Avengers Initiative to fight the Chitauri. He meets Tony Stark on the helicarrier and they bond immediately, and they live happily ever after as science buddies.
I mean I love Bruce too, but would not that version be really really awesome?
5. The rest of my Poly Big Bang draft, which needs to be done, um, tonight.
If any of these already exist and you know here they are, please tell me! Especially number 5.
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As for three, I'm now settling on the image of Loki stumbling over himself once he realizes what he's fighting isn't a random homunculus or somesuch but is one of Tony's kids, and backing off immediately.
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Yes...
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Yes...
Re: Yes...
Re: Yes...
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Somebody really should be writing them, particularly the one with Yinsen as the Hulk.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/470990?view_adult=true
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I have also been watching "Steve and Tony parent Peter" fic with bemusement. Mostly because... okay, so I can see the fic where teenage!Spiderman!Peter ends up crossing paths with the Avengers and Steve and Tony taking an interest in him and deciding he needs to be looked out for or something along those lines. (This scenario may also hit some of my familial-gen kinks.) But a lot of it features baby!Peter or raised-by-S&T-for-years!Peter, and just... for the first, you could really insert any old baby there, why Peter Parker? and for the second, Peter's family situation etc. had such a big impact on how he became Spiderman that if you remove that it's not... really... Peter anymore? idek.
Also, wow @ 4 that is awesome.
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(also in movieverse I kind of have issues with the "random guy with spider-powers" thing, too, because movieverse has so carefully pegged *all* of the sfnal elements to either the serum or the tesseract(-via-Howard). Movieverse doesn't have random ridiculous superpowers! You can explain Peter's powers via serum+Asgardian energy+lab accident easily enough, you just have to put in a little effort.)
you are welcome
Re: you are welcome