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D?on't tell me I've nothin' to do
If one manages to play *computer* solitaire till dawn with a deck of fifty-one, one must be really devoted to maximizing boredom.
Or have god-all writers' block.
No, actually it's struck me how horribly long it's been since I've actually posted any writing of any sort online. There is a reason for this. I went into my opt/fanstuff/hp folder and worked out a summary of the reason. It scares *me*.
Black Ice, the cyberpunk epic, which despite being set 175 years in the future, manages to include nearly all the major canon characters. Except they're quite, quite mad. And the Malfoy family are the good guys, except when they're the bad guys. Features Lucius/Ginny, unreal Tom/Harry/Draco, unnecessary puns, portrait theory which needs rethought in the wake of OotP, and a Hogwarts Great Hall where the roof shows cyberspace instead of the sky.
Book By Cover, a 3/4 finished Hermione/Smart!Crabbe short fic, which I've delayed finishing because I need to e-mail Textualsphinx about the possibility of borrowing for it "A Discourse on Love's Expression," but am too shy to do so.
The Holy Dark, a twisted Lucius/Molly Arthur/Narcissa songfic to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", from the POV of Narcissa telling the story to a two-year-old Ron, which needs major timeline wrangling in the wake of OotP, unless I assume Lucius lied about his age to the Daily Prophet, which come to think of it is entirely reasonable.
Revisions to "Quirrell does DADA," my first Blame Each Other fic, including writing an Umbridge section.
Child of Secrets, my sixth year epic, which I delayed working on because I was sure OotP would completely destroy it, but instead it *solved* plot problems. Features four intertwining POVs: Draco Malfoy learning, in the aftermath of his father's comical death, just how little the Malfoy name really means; Ginny Weasley dealing with being the unwilling girlfriend of an oblivious hero to whom she can't refuse anything, because she owes him a life-debt; Pansy Parkinson trying to figure out how to *not* become a Death Eater, and survive; and Neville Longbottom handling mysterious attempts on his life, strange dreams, whispers around the school, and his hidden passion for Millicent Bulstrode.
Revisions to the Tale of the Giant's Daughter, the fairytale romance of Hagrid's parents, with Jarvey dialogue courtesy of the Mix-n-match book of Shakespearean insults;
An unnamed ficella featuring a main character named Radha Sara Ilthmara, a part-human girl who shows up in Gryffindor in Harry's sixth year, with long blond hair, blue eyes, mysterious powers including an affinity for animals, her father's wand, and a destiny. Tragically, sacrifies her human life in order to save Hogwarts and redeem her father. (She scores 100% on the Mary Sue test). Peter Pettigrew's daughter by an anonymous castle rat, who exhibits all the behavioral and psychological stuntedness of the feral child she is, based especially on Kamala and Amala.
Hogwarts Below, an HP/A Rat's Tale crossover, in which Scabbers is Aunt Elizabeth Mad-Rat's tour guide around the scenic castle, and she insists on visiting the chamber under the girl's bathroom, from which no rat has returned alive. Includes more than you ever wanted to know about the sociology and mating habits of rats, and bittersweet romance.
The Melancholy Malfoy, a play in five acts and iambic pentameter, which casts Fanon!Draco as Prince Hamlet, Fanon!Ginny as Ophelia, Fanon!Hermione as Horatio, Fanon!Harry as Fortinbras, etc. Requires Sirius to be Not Really Dead, so he can incestuously marry Narcissa. Everybody dies except Harry and Hermione.
A extremely angry, as yet unnamed gen ficlet in which Harry is forced to take Occlumency lessons from Pansy Parkinson, and he learns that he's more like his father than he'd like to admit.
Harry Potter and the Sword of Slytherin, a very close AU of CoS in which Harry is in Slytherin and a good friend of the Malfoys, and from his point of view it's the Weasleys who are working for Voldemort.
The world-travelling Bill/Quirrell story wherein the origin of the purple turban is explained; 'tis a gay pride symbol!
Transfuga Transfugata, in which interludes from Peter Pettigrew's first year at Hogwarts are alternated with interludes from his year as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
Double Dog Days, the Dogsbody/HP crossover, which requires some timeline fudging, in which Sirius the wrongly convicted murderer, in dog form, and the orphan he's adopted, and his friend Remus, help Sirius Black and Harry Potter escape dementors in a village where the presence of a Zoi keeps magic from working properly.
Where the Sun Beats, a Tom Riddle poemfic after Eliot's The Waste Land, with a reminiscent Voldemort during GoF. Young Sybill, a Peter/Bertha sex scene, and lots of views into our favorite Dark Lord's rather addled mind.
. . . And the Ginny/Dolores NC-17 darkfic I signed up for in the hp_girlslash challenge. Repressed memory syndrome, Umbridge the evil psychotherapist, unconsensual incest, physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, gratuitous Lolita references, and Tom Riddle providing color commentary by way of a certain black, blood-drinking quill.
Founder's Ordeal, a mega-crossover in which the four Founders visit other wizarding schools around the multiverse in preparation for starting their own: Wizard's Hall, Roke, Unseen University, the Society of Wizards in the Brown Forest, etc, ending with a visit from the Transcendent Pig in which Hogwarts gets its name.
And the Severus/Minerva story set during Chamber of Secrets, featuring Quidditch, alcohol, a striptease to Minnie the Moocher, Minerva's Dark Past, and sex in Lockhart's office. And Dumbledore's. And Snape's. And Trelawney's. And McGonagall's. And Filch's. (It was a bet. A series of bets.)
And The Threefold Cord, a Harry/Hermione/Ron fic in which they are the only survivors of Hogwarts in a world where Voldemort has total victory; the strength of their threeway bond is their only weapon against the overwhelming strength of the Dark Lord.
And revision to Draco Malfoy and the Rat-Faced Girl, the HP/Pinkwater crossover, and the sequel, Hermione Granger and the Hi-Fi fiasco. I am trying to visualize Rat meeting Tonks--
And that doesn't count the SW fics, or the litfics, or the Commander Keen fic, or *any* of the original fiction.
Analysis:
1)And my creative writing advisor didn't understand why I thought I neede to work on discipline?
2)People who claim they run out of ideas to write about don't take proper care in the writing.
3)I need to stop having ideas. And get a beta-reader. And stick to one story.
4)I had hoped OotP would pare down that list, but apparently I'm too smart for my own good. *glares at list*
5)I need help.
Or have god-all writers' block.
No, actually it's struck me how horribly long it's been since I've actually posted any writing of any sort online. There is a reason for this. I went into my opt/fanstuff/hp folder and worked out a summary of the reason. It scares *me*.
Black Ice, the cyberpunk epic, which despite being set 175 years in the future, manages to include nearly all the major canon characters. Except they're quite, quite mad. And the Malfoy family are the good guys, except when they're the bad guys. Features Lucius/Ginny, unreal Tom/Harry/Draco, unnecessary puns, portrait theory which needs rethought in the wake of OotP, and a Hogwarts Great Hall where the roof shows cyberspace instead of the sky.
Book By Cover, a 3/4 finished Hermione/Smart!Crabbe short fic, which I've delayed finishing because I need to e-mail Textualsphinx about the possibility of borrowing for it "A Discourse on Love's Expression," but am too shy to do so.
The Holy Dark, a twisted Lucius/Molly Arthur/Narcissa songfic to Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", from the POV of Narcissa telling the story to a two-year-old Ron, which needs major timeline wrangling in the wake of OotP, unless I assume Lucius lied about his age to the Daily Prophet, which come to think of it is entirely reasonable.
Revisions to "Quirrell does DADA," my first Blame Each Other fic, including writing an Umbridge section.
Child of Secrets, my sixth year epic, which I delayed working on because I was sure OotP would completely destroy it, but instead it *solved* plot problems. Features four intertwining POVs: Draco Malfoy learning, in the aftermath of his father's comical death, just how little the Malfoy name really means; Ginny Weasley dealing with being the unwilling girlfriend of an oblivious hero to whom she can't refuse anything, because she owes him a life-debt; Pansy Parkinson trying to figure out how to *not* become a Death Eater, and survive; and Neville Longbottom handling mysterious attempts on his life, strange dreams, whispers around the school, and his hidden passion for Millicent Bulstrode.
Revisions to the Tale of the Giant's Daughter, the fairytale romance of Hagrid's parents, with Jarvey dialogue courtesy of the Mix-n-match book of Shakespearean insults;
An unnamed ficella featuring a main character named Radha Sara Ilthmara, a part-human girl who shows up in Gryffindor in Harry's sixth year, with long blond hair, blue eyes, mysterious powers including an affinity for animals, her father's wand, and a destiny. Tragically, sacrifies her human life in order to save Hogwarts and redeem her father. (She scores 100% on the Mary Sue test). Peter Pettigrew's daughter by an anonymous castle rat, who exhibits all the behavioral and psychological stuntedness of the feral child she is, based especially on Kamala and Amala.
Hogwarts Below, an HP/A Rat's Tale crossover, in which Scabbers is Aunt Elizabeth Mad-Rat's tour guide around the scenic castle, and she insists on visiting the chamber under the girl's bathroom, from which no rat has returned alive. Includes more than you ever wanted to know about the sociology and mating habits of rats, and bittersweet romance.
The Melancholy Malfoy, a play in five acts and iambic pentameter, which casts Fanon!Draco as Prince Hamlet, Fanon!Ginny as Ophelia, Fanon!Hermione as Horatio, Fanon!Harry as Fortinbras, etc. Requires Sirius to be Not Really Dead, so he can incestuously marry Narcissa. Everybody dies except Harry and Hermione.
A extremely angry, as yet unnamed gen ficlet in which Harry is forced to take Occlumency lessons from Pansy Parkinson, and he learns that he's more like his father than he'd like to admit.
Harry Potter and the Sword of Slytherin, a very close AU of CoS in which Harry is in Slytherin and a good friend of the Malfoys, and from his point of view it's the Weasleys who are working for Voldemort.
The world-travelling Bill/Quirrell story wherein the origin of the purple turban is explained; 'tis a gay pride symbol!
Transfuga Transfugata, in which interludes from Peter Pettigrew's first year at Hogwarts are alternated with interludes from his year as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
Double Dog Days, the Dogsbody/HP crossover, which requires some timeline fudging, in which Sirius the wrongly convicted murderer, in dog form, and the orphan he's adopted, and his friend Remus, help Sirius Black and Harry Potter escape dementors in a village where the presence of a Zoi keeps magic from working properly.
Where the Sun Beats, a Tom Riddle poemfic after Eliot's The Waste Land, with a reminiscent Voldemort during GoF. Young Sybill, a Peter/Bertha sex scene, and lots of views into our favorite Dark Lord's rather addled mind.
. . . And the Ginny/Dolores NC-17 darkfic I signed up for in the hp_girlslash challenge. Repressed memory syndrome, Umbridge the evil psychotherapist, unconsensual incest, physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, gratuitous Lolita references, and Tom Riddle providing color commentary by way of a certain black, blood-drinking quill.
Founder's Ordeal, a mega-crossover in which the four Founders visit other wizarding schools around the multiverse in preparation for starting their own: Wizard's Hall, Roke, Unseen University, the Society of Wizards in the Brown Forest, etc, ending with a visit from the Transcendent Pig in which Hogwarts gets its name.
And the Severus/Minerva story set during Chamber of Secrets, featuring Quidditch, alcohol, a striptease to Minnie the Moocher, Minerva's Dark Past, and sex in Lockhart's office. And Dumbledore's. And Snape's. And Trelawney's. And McGonagall's. And Filch's. (It was a bet. A series of bets.)
And The Threefold Cord, a Harry/Hermione/Ron fic in which they are the only survivors of Hogwarts in a world where Voldemort has total victory; the strength of their threeway bond is their only weapon against the overwhelming strength of the Dark Lord.
And revision to Draco Malfoy and the Rat-Faced Girl, the HP/Pinkwater crossover, and the sequel, Hermione Granger and the Hi-Fi fiasco. I am trying to visualize Rat meeting Tonks--
And that doesn't count the SW fics, or the litfics, or the Commander Keen fic, or *any* of the original fiction.
Analysis:
1)And my creative writing advisor didn't understand why I thought I neede to work on discipline?
2)People who claim they run out of ideas to write about don't take proper care in the writing.
3)I need to stop having ideas. And get a beta-reader. And stick to one story.
4)I had hoped OotP would pare down that list, but apparently I'm too smart for my own good. *glares at list*
5)I need help.
whoa
I know that having too much to do is overwhelming (as Kayla takes a look around her messy office...)
Remember that fanfic is supposed to be fun, and take finishing things off one story at a time, then write down notes for the other stories as the aspiration hits.
And what I'm learning is that not everyone writes in the same way; David Drake and I seem to be "one-story-at-a-time" writers, fyrie and you are "more-than-one-story-at-a-time" writers.
no subject
And I can totally commiserate on the "having too many ideas" issue. I keep coming up with random stuff in all different fandoms, and I know I can't write it all. Yet, isn't it a great feeling? :)