I'm waiting for the story where somebody breaks the SGC's cover in the media, and the world's reaction is "Okay, so where's the part that's actually news?"

I want a story about the people who try to cash in on all their coupons for a square mile on the moon from 1950s cereal boxes. And the time everybody sued everybody else for militarizing space. And the roaring trade in Real Genuine Alien Artifacts which used to be souvenirs of Egypt, made in China.