My vague rules are similar, except for AO3 fic: I never pay attention to the share button (tbh I mostly forget it exists, and I'd completely forgotten that it was even possible to disable it), and I would rec an archive-locked fic (I can't remember rn if I have but probably.) I only post recs on DW and I just sorta assume that pretty much everyone who reads it here has an AO3 account, so I'm not pointing people who that lock was meant to keep out (non-fannish people) towards the fic. I wouldn't rec an archive-locked fic e.g. in a non-explicitly-fandom-fannish Discord channel.
Thinking about it, it hasn't come up but for fic with a cautionary note (along the lines of "if you are or know X then turn back!" which I've seen for non-locked RPF sometimes) I think I might rec it but only in very vague terms. And of course I wouldn't rec a fic that asked not to be shared in a way I would notice, so in the tags or author's notes, but I've never seen that.