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Snowflake #5
This is the one for all the stuff I said wasn't right for the wishlist, isn't it? all the "I wish I could" and "I wish I had".
It does phrase it as "I wish I had the time/talent/energy to do the thing" and I'm going to lean away from that, because, honestly, I don't. I spend most of my evenings after work lately sitting under a warm blanket not doing much at all, and that's okay. I could rearrange my time and energy budget to use every last minute and every last spoon on 'being productive', if I really wanted to - I have, in the past, for stretches of a few months at least. (I even went on an extreme polyphasic sleep schedule for a few weeks once, two hours of sleep a day instead of ten - and it worked, I wasn't sleep-deprived, but also it was too much time in the day.) What I find is that I don't really like being the kind of person who has the energy and drive to be doing all the things all the time? It sounds exhausting and honestly not very much fun. Besides, if everybody spends all their time being productive there's nobody left to properly enjoy the things we're all making and doing for each other.
But that doesn't mean there aren't a bunch of things I wistfully wish I could do while still being a generally unambitious, lazy slacker.
I noticed that probably 90% of the snowflakes posts today include "I wish I could make this vid." Clearly there is a market for vids on demand!
Mine is still always first and mostest Doctor/Master to Paradise By The Dashboard Light. It would be such an amazing Lord King Bad Vid. "We got married as dumb kids and now we're stuck with each other until the end of time so I am going to do my best to hasten the end of time, but also I think I love you and we also have an inappropriate relationship with our vehicles and also the whole thing is just an extended sex scene even if it's never explicit" is just so 100% them. And you use the cricket game from Black Dahlia, totally non-sequitur, for the entire baseball sequence. And so much TARDIS porn. And shots of various people in Time Lord-level clothing showing an elbow or ankle for all the "barely seventeen and barely dressed" lines. I think you might have to do something clever with each set of regenerations looking back at the previous ones as the stupid kids they used to be. I will never, ever be the person who could do this, because even if I magically acquired vidding skill I will never be the person with the kind of brain that can pull footage from 700+ hours of canon, but, I still wish.
Also I would like to have finished even the tiniest fraction of the stories and art I've dreamed of.
Most of all though - and this one might actually happen someday - I would like to write at least one long, stereotypical, ordinary tropey romance fic of the kind I constantly read. The kind of thing that people are thinking of when they complain about how all fanfic is the same and there's too much of that? That kind of fic. I love reading them, the closest I have come to finishing one is If The Ever Put A Bullet Through Your Brain, I'll Complain but it's not even 20000 words and also the main character barely even interacts with the main love interest. I want to be able to go all in.
(Mind you, I say stereotypical, ordinary, but the kind of stuff I want to write is still stuff like "Jack and Thor get trapped in a computer simulation of the Asgard afterlife and have to find self-actualization, escape, and possibly save the Asgard race" and "it's a sort of Study in Emerald AU where everybody is concubines of eldritch horrors" and "Gideon/Harrow but it's Southern Gothic and they're all cold-water scuba divers" and "Clark Kent tells Lois he won't date her until she figures out his dark secret, so she decides to honeytrap Bruce Wayne for it" and "Post-CQL, Wei Wuxian accidentally sets himself up as YLP again, and all the minor sects panic, so LWJ declares they must sent a virgin sacrifice to pacify him, and he volunteers, and the other major sect leaders are so fed up they back him" and "Nick Fury and Peggy Carter's epic forbidden love affair and illegal marriage spanning eighty years" and "modern AU where Enjolras is aro/ace and Grantaire is akoiromantic - he prefers his love unreciprocated - and they end up moving in together and getting married and adopting some kids once they figure this out" and "they are trapped in a Canadian shack in a magic snowstorm and it's fuck or die only it won't work if Harry know it's fuck or die and *also* won't work if they lie to him" and "The AU where they are criminal masterminds but good ones" and "the one where they're pro baseball players and also there's a betting scandal" and "the one where it's the Magdelenian period and they paint caves" and "The one where they're Jedi" and "the one where their kid comes back from a dystopian alternate future only she's not actually their kid" and "the one where they have to find a fourth for their sedoretu but the obvious option is a vampire so nope" and "the femslash AU where all the female characters work at the aquarium and all the male characters are seabirds" and. there are more.)
Anyway. One of those. The ability to finish one ~50000-ish word fic like that. Would be nice. If only to pay forward all the many, many ones I have read.
I want to do all the indexing and tagging I said I'd do for last years' recs project. And all the other things I've said I'd do and let slide that still weigh on my mind and my to-do lists.
Also I would like to have updated my DW theme sometime in the past ten years. And to be able to code well enough to scrape my AO3 history. And to have the energy to run even a few of the communities I'd like to see on AO3 with even a fraction of the effort I'd need to do them justice, and to do a better job with what I've got. To be more active with OTW - not just actually keeping up with Tag Wrangling better, but also advocate harder for the changes I'd like to see, instead of just whining in comment threads sometimes. To be a better fandom friend - to comment more, to be better about replying and following up, to beta and alpha read, to keep up with people better, to never screw up and ruin relationships anymore, to do more to reach out and help and to let people in.
But mostly, I want to have made that Doctor Who vid.
It does phrase it as "I wish I had the time/talent/energy to do the thing" and I'm going to lean away from that, because, honestly, I don't. I spend most of my evenings after work lately sitting under a warm blanket not doing much at all, and that's okay. I could rearrange my time and energy budget to use every last minute and every last spoon on 'being productive', if I really wanted to - I have, in the past, for stretches of a few months at least. (I even went on an extreme polyphasic sleep schedule for a few weeks once, two hours of sleep a day instead of ten - and it worked, I wasn't sleep-deprived, but also it was too much time in the day.) What I find is that I don't really like being the kind of person who has the energy and drive to be doing all the things all the time? It sounds exhausting and honestly not very much fun. Besides, if everybody spends all their time being productive there's nobody left to properly enjoy the things we're all making and doing for each other.
But that doesn't mean there aren't a bunch of things I wistfully wish I could do while still being a generally unambitious, lazy slacker.
I noticed that probably 90% of the snowflakes posts today include "I wish I could make this vid." Clearly there is a market for vids on demand!
Mine is still always first and mostest Doctor/Master to Paradise By The Dashboard Light. It would be such an amazing Lord King Bad Vid. "We got married as dumb kids and now we're stuck with each other until the end of time so I am going to do my best to hasten the end of time, but also I think I love you and we also have an inappropriate relationship with our vehicles and also the whole thing is just an extended sex scene even if it's never explicit" is just so 100% them. And you use the cricket game from Black Dahlia, totally non-sequitur, for the entire baseball sequence. And so much TARDIS porn. And shots of various people in Time Lord-level clothing showing an elbow or ankle for all the "barely seventeen and barely dressed" lines. I think you might have to do something clever with each set of regenerations looking back at the previous ones as the stupid kids they used to be. I will never, ever be the person who could do this, because even if I magically acquired vidding skill I will never be the person with the kind of brain that can pull footage from 700+ hours of canon, but, I still wish.
Also I would like to have finished even the tiniest fraction of the stories and art I've dreamed of.
Most of all though - and this one might actually happen someday - I would like to write at least one long, stereotypical, ordinary tropey romance fic of the kind I constantly read. The kind of thing that people are thinking of when they complain about how all fanfic is the same and there's too much of that? That kind of fic. I love reading them, the closest I have come to finishing one is If The Ever Put A Bullet Through Your Brain, I'll Complain but it's not even 20000 words and also the main character barely even interacts with the main love interest. I want to be able to go all in.
(Mind you, I say stereotypical, ordinary, but the kind of stuff I want to write is still stuff like "Jack and Thor get trapped in a computer simulation of the Asgard afterlife and have to find self-actualization, escape, and possibly save the Asgard race" and "it's a sort of Study in Emerald AU where everybody is concubines of eldritch horrors" and "Gideon/Harrow but it's Southern Gothic and they're all cold-water scuba divers" and "Clark Kent tells Lois he won't date her until she figures out his dark secret, so she decides to honeytrap Bruce Wayne for it" and "Post-CQL, Wei Wuxian accidentally sets himself up as YLP again, and all the minor sects panic, so LWJ declares they must sent a virgin sacrifice to pacify him, and he volunteers, and the other major sect leaders are so fed up they back him" and "Nick Fury and Peggy Carter's epic forbidden love affair and illegal marriage spanning eighty years" and "modern AU where Enjolras is aro/ace and Grantaire is akoiromantic - he prefers his love unreciprocated - and they end up moving in together and getting married and adopting some kids once they figure this out" and "they are trapped in a Canadian shack in a magic snowstorm and it's fuck or die only it won't work if Harry know it's fuck or die and *also* won't work if they lie to him" and "The AU where they are criminal masterminds but good ones" and "the one where they're pro baseball players and also there's a betting scandal" and "the one where it's the Magdelenian period and they paint caves" and "The one where they're Jedi" and "the one where their kid comes back from a dystopian alternate future only she's not actually their kid" and "the one where they have to find a fourth for their sedoretu but the obvious option is a vampire so nope" and "the femslash AU where all the female characters work at the aquarium and all the male characters are seabirds" and. there are more.)
Anyway. One of those. The ability to finish one ~50000-ish word fic like that. Would be nice. If only to pay forward all the many, many ones I have read.
I want to do all the indexing and tagging I said I'd do for last years' recs project. And all the other things I've said I'd do and let slide that still weigh on my mind and my to-do lists.
Also I would like to have updated my DW theme sometime in the past ten years. And to be able to code well enough to scrape my AO3 history. And to have the energy to run even a few of the communities I'd like to see on AO3 with even a fraction of the effort I'd need to do them justice, and to do a better job with what I've got. To be more active with OTW - not just actually keeping up with Tag Wrangling better, but also advocate harder for the changes I'd like to see, instead of just whining in comment threads sometimes. To be a better fandom friend - to comment more, to be better about replying and following up, to beta and alpha read, to keep up with people better, to never screw up and ruin relationships anymore, to do more to reach out and help and to let people in.
But mostly, I want to have made that Doctor Who vid.