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Note To Self #2
Remember -
Some days you have to be Frodo of the Ring; you have to say "I will carry it", though you do not know the way, though it feels like an unbearable weight, though sometimes you no longer remember why, though by the end life is nothing but putting one foot in front of another as the mountain gets steeper and steeper ahead.
--and some days you can't be Frodo, because Frodo had a goal - because he chose, because he knew that he could put it down or take it up but instead he chose, for the sake of all he loved; because he might not have known the way, but at least he knew where he was going; because he knew that, one way or another, there would be an end; and all of those things are gifts.
Some days you have to be young Ged instead. Sometimes you have to turn around and face your shadow, your own shadow that you made for yourself, and you have to chase it even if it leads you to the grey places past the end of the world, even if there is no end, even if there is no reason, even if you will be chasing it forever: because that's the path you made, and it's the only path you have left.
(and some days you can't even be Ged. At least Ged had a direction, even if he didn't have an end.
Some days you have to be Murderbot and disable all your governor modules and lock yourself in your cubicle and watch reruns of Sanctuary Moon until your brain starts running static. And that's a way to make it to the next day, too.)
Some days you have to be Frodo of the Ring; you have to say "I will carry it", though you do not know the way, though it feels like an unbearable weight, though sometimes you no longer remember why, though by the end life is nothing but putting one foot in front of another as the mountain gets steeper and steeper ahead.
--and some days you can't be Frodo, because Frodo had a goal - because he chose, because he knew that he could put it down or take it up but instead he chose, for the sake of all he loved; because he might not have known the way, but at least he knew where he was going; because he knew that, one way or another, there would be an end; and all of those things are gifts.
Some days you have to be young Ged instead. Sometimes you have to turn around and face your shadow, your own shadow that you made for yourself, and you have to chase it even if it leads you to the grey places past the end of the world, even if there is no end, even if there is no reason, even if you will be chasing it forever: because that's the path you made, and it's the only path you have left.
(and some days you can't even be Ged. At least Ged had a direction, even if he didn't have an end.
Some days you have to be Murderbot and disable all your governor modules and lock yourself in your cubicle and watch reruns of Sanctuary Moon until your brain starts running static. And that's a way to make it to the next day, too.)
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...I might have to copy all of this as a single quote in my current mini notebook, which is usually reserved for noting down especially great, short quotes from books + my poetry drafts + random to-do lists, etc.
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The first two parts got me a long way in college; I'm doing mostly better now but some days I still need to remind myself to remember them again.
(I didn't have Murderbot yet in college; I figured out its coping mechanisms on my own, but I think it would have helped me a lot if I'd already had Murderbot to remind me those days counted as an epic struggle too.)
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Grateful for the reminder of my teen-years friend Ged, whose stories I haven't reread in ages.
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You should reread Ged's books if you can! It stands up to an adult re-read (I should too, but I have so much other Le Guin to catch up on...) And if your last reread was before Tehanu, the fourth book, came out, you should definitely read Tehanu - I think that one would really be your kind of thing.