IMPORTANT HANS OF ICELAND UPDATE

[melannen]

I am now about 100 pages in, and it is starting to pick up a little!

Right now, there are six people sheltering from a sudden storm in the Cursed Tower (where any cross brought across the threshhold bursts spontaneously into flame):

Our Hero Ordener, the heir to a Count, who is in disguise as a common soldier afaict just because he enjoys suddenly revealing that he isn't one at dramatic moments;

Benignus Spiagudry, the local coroner/mad scientist, who is in disguise as Anyone Who Is Not Spiagudry because he was forced to desecrate a corpse is his care and is therefore a wanted man;

Hans of Iceland, the outlaw, who is in disguise as a monk, and is the one who forced him to desecrate said corpse because he wanted the skull to drink the blood of his enemies out of;

Orugix, the official Trondheim executioner and his wife, who are not in disguise, but are *totally* rocking the "we are executioners who live in a cursed tower so we might as well go all out and be GOTH AS HELL" life;

And a Lutheran pastor who as is as far as I know not in disguise (? seems unlikely)

Ordener is there because he has bribed Spiagudry to take him to the hideouts of Hans because Hans has stolen some papers that will prove the innocence of the falsely persecuted father of Ordener's paramour Ethel, who is also being courted by the brother of Ordener's fiancee who is part of a plot to destroy Ethel's father using a proletarian revolt led by a patsy who is in disguise as Hans, except said fiancee's brother is actually secretly the illegitimate son of the executioner's brother (and, worst of all, enjoys reading French adventure novels!!!)

Still not sure what the pastor is doing there.

MEANWHILE, an "Anonymous Personage" has driven up to the nearby town in a gilded, but unmarked, carriage.

Comments

[tetsubinatu]

Um. Ok, then...

[melannen]

I'm actually kind of into it now. It's totally committed to being what it is and is SUPER enthusiastic about that thing.

[ellen_fremedon]

This is reminding strongly of Snoopy's classic "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night."

[melannen]

I am definitely seeing how this book fits into a major Western literary tradition....just. not. you know. the one that we currently call "classic."

It actually was written at exactly the same time period as Bulwer-Lytton's prime, so that makes a lot of sense. Honestly I am starting to get super-impressed by the plotting -- constant coincidences, convenient blood-oaths and improbable disguises aside. This is the level of intrigue I keep expecting from the modern fantasy novel bricks and haven't been getting.

[melannen]

Also it took Hugo three pages to say "it was a dark and stormy night".

[ellen_fremedon]

Of course it did.

[gehayi]

Obviously, the Lutheran pastor is NOT a Lutheran pastor at all. He is Ordener's fiancee's illegitimate brother. Ordener's fiancee's illegitimate brother (whom I will call OFIB from now on) suspected that Ordener would do something heroic to save Ethel's father, and OFIB intends to make sure that Ethel's father STAYS destroyed. (Possibly by making Ordener look as if he stole Ethel's dad's papers and is funding the proletarian revolt, which would--OFIB hopes--shock and horrify both Fiancee and Ethel, leading Fiancee to break up with Ordener and causing Ethel to fling herself into OFIB's arms. There is a great deal of wish-fulfillment in this "plan.")

Also, he is disguised as a pastor because his father's family is GOTH AS HELL, so obviously some unimportant relative (i.e., him) had to go to seminary so that he would be equipped to protect his father's family from the ghoul-haunted Gothic world. He stayed long enough to get a smattering of theology, but dropped out for personal reasons probably related to madness and the supernatural. Because his family is GOTH, damn it, and there are some things you can't narratively escape even if you are more inclined toward political intrigue.

(The above is ridiculous fanfic...and was so much fun to write.)

[melannen]

That is definitely within the scope of the book! Except OFIB (whose name is actually Frederic) actually wants Ordener to marry his half-sister for some reason I am not clear on yet? and is only interested in Ethel as a way to get to her father, and also I doubt he is the Lutheran pastor because Ordener already Dramatic Revealed his identity to him, but he is sworn to secrecy due to a duel they are going to fight in a few weeks but he is a super-bad liar so I doubt he could have faked not knowing it's him in the tower. (Ethel does not know about Ordener's secret identity yet though because her dad hates his dad even though his dad is secretly on her dad's side. Clear?)

Also afaik Frederic does not know he is related to the Goths because his mother never told anybody that she was cheating with her husband's private secretary who is the executioner's brother, although again it's possible he actually knows! He is totally genetically goth, though, except he leans more toward MILES of black lace on his doublet and less toward collecting antique torture equipment.

I left out the important details about Frederic because tbh he's super boring.

BTW the executioner only lives in the tower because he is disgraced over having flubbed Ethel's dad's execution which let to Ethel and her dad being exiled to a ruined castle on an island in the fjord instead.

[gehayi]

So I got every fact wrong, but still managed to come up with something that fits the tone of the book, if not its beautifully convoluted plot.

Also I love all the details about Frederic and hope that he will be able to indulge in MILES of black lace on his doublet.

[melannen]

His mother did not bring him back any new lace *or* ribbons from her trip to Bergen. ): Nor, more importantly, the latest volume of the French novel he is reading.

[sheliak]

That sounds kind of amazing, and yes, the random Lutheran pastor sticks out like a sore thumb. Surely he has some kind of dark secret or mysterious hidden identity! Surely no genuinely random pastor would take shelter at such a place, and in such company! (... or maybe he is busy boggling at everyone else's enthusiastic ridiculousness? But that might be a bit too self-aware.)

I take it that the first 100 pages were less entertaining?

[melannen]

It's more that he spent the first 75 pages or so introducing one new character and location after another (or occasionally introducing them twice while being coy about the "disguise" thing) so it took me that long to figure out wtf was going on and whether or not I cared. And, I mean, the prose is never going to be exactly, um, gripping, in this one.

It took to about page 50 before I even figured out what century it was and what country they were in.

By the time Frederic and Ordener were attempting (and failing, due to general failiness) to duel over the girl I was interested enough to keep going, though.

Also the first scene is in Spiagudry's morgue featuring a bunch of one-off characters we never meet again and detailed descriptions of three drowned corpses (only one of which has been relevant to anything so far) so that didn't help.

[marginaliana]

This sounds amaaaazing.

[melannen]

It's. Definitely a thing!

It starts with a intro from Hugo where he points out that he was 18 when he wrote it and also had a high fever the whole time and he only authorized the reprint so that people would stop saying it was better than Hunchback of Notre Dame. ^_^