Fake dating ...I feel like I have attempted to plot this one out with people so many times and yet STILL NOBODY'S WRITTEN IT WHY
...how about a post-Seine one where Valjean still hasn't told Cosette or Marius about his past, and Javert is sick of having to go in circles around how they know each other and deflect Cosette's increasingly pointed questions, so one day in response he just slams his fist on the kitchen table and announces to all and sundry that they're fucking, in hopes that attempting to convince them otherwise will get Valjean to finally tell them the truth, as the lesser of two evils. Valjean, of course, instead latches onto it like a lifeline and things rapidly escalate.
Bodyswap Madeleine-era; the sort of bodyswap where they still see themselves as themselves but nobody else does: they fundamentally do not understand each other. They manage to continue to fundamentally not understand each other despite literally living in each other's shoes for a month. They are absolutely terrible at pretending to be each other, but since neither of them have any friends, nobody notices. Javert desperately wants to take off Valjean's shirt and ask somebody else if he has any suspicious scars or marks, but there is nobody either of them know intimately enough to do something like that with, without it all being unbearably awkward, so he never quite gets around to it.
Eventually the spell gives up and they switch back. Nothing has changed except that they now understand each other even less well than they did before.
Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it redacted for security reasons
Dark!fic 1. Canon. 2. The AU-which-would-be-impossible-to-write-well where Javert chooses crime instead of the police and is REALLY REALLY GOOD AT IT and by the time Valjean is out on his first parole is running a national crime syndicate and Valjean meets him instead of the Bishop and becomes his right-hand man and enforcer (and probably they eventually adopt Montparnasse as their heir and bedwarmer...)
Secret kinks Javert likes Valjean's strength and size. And likes watching him lift things and really likes being manhandled. And also really really likes it when Valjean's strength is being very obviously gentled or restrained.
Valjean likes taking care of people and making people happy, which is a secret from approximately nobody in Paris at this point, but the amount of pleasure he gets out of just watching Javert crumble into sobbing joy under is hands is pretty much a secret between them.
After they get together they're really both simulataneously going through different but connected processes of ...learning to enjoy being embodied, to accept, and live in their physical selves in a way they never really have before, and there's a lot of just plain sensation play, sensuality, even-- sometimes -- decadence that comes into it without them ever really discussing it. Neither of them will buy fine things for themselves but they'll buy fine things to watch the other enjoy them - silks and velvets and feathers and furs and cream-filled pastries and really nice wines and exotic fruit and expensive cheese and scented unguents and hot baths and human touch and really everything they've never let themselves experience of the good things in the world.
Their first kiss They've been dancing around each other for weeks and they've talked about stuff and know they're going to get there eventually, probably soon, but the first time they actually kiss? ...it's to make Marius go away and stop talking. Nothing else has worked.
(from beyond the grave Courfeyrac mutters to Combeferre 'why didn't we ever think of that??')
Meeting the parents Valjean once saved Javert's father's life in a construction accident, but nobody involved ever actually makes the connection.
Javert knows Valjean's sister - she's the old widow who runs that little printing and bookbinding shop that, since the death of her second husband, is constantly under suspicion for secretly printing subversive and/or pornographic literature, but nothing can ever be proved; it all just slides off her back every time as she bare-facedly dares him to try again. She aggravates the hell out of him and reminds him of somebody but he doesn't realize who until sometime post-Seine when Valjean mentions his sister Jeanne who was last seen at a bookbindery in Paris, and then Javert facepalms a lot and takes him there to buy some gay porn.
Moving in together The autumn after Cosette gets married, Valjean decides to close up the house in Paris and move into a little cottage he's rented in the countryside up north, because he feels like he needs to get out of Paris, and also staying in the city would mean the entire Christmas season with Cosette et. al., and while he loves Cosette to death there's only so much of the et. al. he can take. Javert is still sort of flapping around at loose ends so Valjean invites him along, and to their mutual surprise, Javert agrees.
What they have both forgotten in their old age as city-dwellers is that quaint cottages in the north of France are really goddamn cold in the winter and they end up spending basically the whole three months in bed together.
A crossover of my choice Either the one where they help Babbage and Lovelace fight crime. Or the 1970s AU where Javert and Eberbach have to team up to stop a terrorist plot that the Amis have accidentally stumbled into and Eroica and Valjean both end up mixed up in things by *total* coincidence (as they do) and everybody comments on how if Javert shaved the sideburns he and Klaus could be twins, and also Enjolras and R are hiding out in the castle on the South Downs because R knows Eroica from when he was actually involved in the art scene and knows he's a sucker for a man with a hopeless love story and Eroica and Enjolras also look enough alike that they can play body doubles for each other (...there are totally R/Eroica sad blowjobs involved but we're getting distracted from the JVJ here oops).
An au of my choice ...the modern-day AU in the Magic OOC Town of Starbucks and Smiles. Valjean went to prison as a teenager on a shoplifting charge that got escalated (mostly due to being young poor and uneducated) into a ten-year sentence; but he took advantage of his prison time to learn computers, and within a couple of years after he made parole, he'd become one of the early dotcom millionaires. He sold out as soon as got a good offer and moved to a small town to spend the rest of his life working as an advocate for criminal justice reform and education for the poor, and giving his money away.
Javert is either a policeman working in the town or a local federal/national agent; he's suspicious when Valjean moves in, adopted daughter in tow, and starts being perfect in every way despite his criminal history - it's not really believable, but events in the town just keep throwing them together for all sorts of reasons and he keeps accidentally flirting with Javert and then getting adorably flustered and Javert has stayed in the closet for the sake of his job for twenty-five years but now politics are changing and maybe he can let himself have this? maybe? if Valjean is for real?
They buy each other a lot of coffee and then this happens. And also there's some big historical event that happened in/with the town (idk what, it doesn't even really matter what continent this is on okay) that means there's an annual living history day where everybody dresses in 19th century clothing for a day and goes to a big period-costume ball and stuff and everybody smiles and laughs a lot and nobody dies.
etc. etc. you get the idea this AU is based entirely on Voksen's habit of posting set pictures of them in costume but not in character and has no other redeeming features at all.
If you want something canon-era: the one where Valjean is recruited into the Surete after M-sur-M, and Javert is assigned to work with him by the Paris police because they're under political pressure to work more closely with Vidocq's men even though they hate the Surete and everything about them, and Javert is the one person his boss is absolutely sure will stay apolitical and do the best job he can despite the despicable people he's being forced to work with.
no subject
...I feel like I have attempted to plot this one out with people so many times and yet STILL NOBODY'S WRITTEN IT WHY
...how about a post-Seine one where Valjean still hasn't told Cosette or Marius about his past, and Javert is sick of having to go in circles around how they know each other and deflect Cosette's increasingly pointed questions, so one day in response he just slams his fist on the kitchen table and announces to all and sundry that they're fucking, in hopes that attempting to convince them otherwise will get Valjean to finally tell them the truth, as the lesser of two evils. Valjean, of course, instead latches onto it like a lifeline and things rapidly escalate.
Bodyswap
Madeleine-era; the sort of bodyswap where they still see themselves as themselves but nobody else does: they fundamentally do not understand each other. They manage to continue to fundamentally not understand each other despite literally living in each other's shoes for a month. They are absolutely terrible at pretending to be each other, but since neither of them have any friends, nobody notices. Javert desperately wants to take off Valjean's shirt and ask somebody else if he has any suspicious scars or marks, but there is nobody either of them know intimately enough to do something like that with, without it all being unbearably awkward, so he never quite gets around to it.
Eventually the spell gives up and they switch back. Nothing has changed except that they now understand each other even less well than they did before.
Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it
redacted for security reasonsDark!fic
1. Canon.
2. The AU-which-would-be-impossible-to-write-well where Javert chooses crime instead of the police and is REALLY REALLY GOOD AT IT and by the time Valjean is out on his first parole is running a national crime syndicate and Valjean meets him instead of the Bishop and becomes his right-hand man and enforcer (and probably they eventually adopt Montparnasse as their heir and bedwarmer...)
Secret kinks
Javert likes Valjean's strength and size. And likes watching him lift things and really likes being manhandled. And also really really likes it when Valjean's strength is being very obviously gentled or restrained.
Valjean likes taking care of people and making people happy, which is a secret from approximately nobody in Paris at this point, but the amount of pleasure he gets out of just watching Javert crumble into sobbing joy under is hands is pretty much a secret between them.
After they get together they're really both simulataneously going through different but connected processes of ...learning to enjoy being embodied, to accept, and live in their physical selves in a way they never really have before, and there's a lot of just plain sensation play, sensuality, even-- sometimes -- decadence that comes into it without them ever really discussing it. Neither of them will buy fine things for themselves but they'll buy fine things to watch the other enjoy them - silks and velvets and feathers and furs and cream-filled pastries and really nice wines and exotic fruit and expensive cheese and scented unguents and hot baths and human touch and really everything they've never let themselves experience of the good things in the world.
Their first kiss
They've been dancing around each other for weeks and they've talked about stuff and know they're going to get there eventually, probably soon, but the first time they actually kiss? ...it's to make Marius go away and stop talking. Nothing else has worked.
(from beyond the grave Courfeyrac mutters to Combeferre 'why didn't we ever think of that??')
Meeting the parents
Valjean once saved Javert's father's life in a construction accident, but nobody involved ever actually makes the connection.
Javert knows Valjean's sister - she's the old widow who runs that little printing and bookbinding shop that, since the death of her second husband, is constantly under suspicion for secretly printing subversive and/or pornographic literature, but nothing can ever be proved; it all just slides off her back every time as she bare-facedly dares him to try again. She aggravates the hell out of him and reminds him of somebody but he doesn't realize who until sometime post-Seine when Valjean mentions his sister Jeanne who was last seen at a bookbindery in Paris, and then Javert facepalms a lot and takes him there to buy some gay porn.
Moving in together
The autumn after Cosette gets married, Valjean decides to close up the house in Paris and move into a little cottage he's rented in the countryside up north, because he feels like he needs to get out of Paris, and also staying in the city would mean the entire Christmas season with Cosette et. al., and while he loves Cosette to death there's only so much of the et. al. he can take. Javert is still sort of flapping around at loose ends so Valjean invites him along, and to their mutual surprise, Javert agrees.
What they have both forgotten in their old age as city-dwellers is that quaint cottages in the north of France are really goddamn cold in the winter and they end up spending basically the whole three months in bed together.
A crossover of my choice
Either the one where they help Babbage and Lovelace fight crime. Or the 1970s AU where Javert and Eberbach have to team up to stop a terrorist plot that the Amis have accidentally stumbled into and Eroica and Valjean both end up mixed up in things by *total* coincidence (as they do) and everybody comments on how if Javert shaved the sideburns he and Klaus could be twins, and also Enjolras and R are hiding out in the castle on the South Downs because R knows Eroica from when he was actually involved in the art scene and knows he's a sucker for a man with a hopeless love story and Eroica and Enjolras also look enough alike that they can play body doubles for each other (...there are totally R/Eroica sad blowjobs involved but we're getting distracted from the JVJ here oops).
An au of my choice
...the modern-day AU in the Magic OOC Town of Starbucks and Smiles. Valjean went to prison as a teenager on a shoplifting charge that got escalated (mostly due to being young poor and uneducated) into a ten-year sentence; but he took advantage of his prison time to learn computers, and within a couple of years after he made parole, he'd become one of the early dotcom millionaires. He sold out as soon as got a good offer and moved to a small town to spend the rest of his life working as an advocate for criminal justice reform and education for the poor, and giving his money away.
Javert is either a policeman working in the town or a local federal/national agent; he's suspicious when Valjean moves in, adopted daughter in tow, and starts being perfect in every way despite his criminal history - it's not really believable, but events in the town just keep throwing them together for all sorts of reasons and he keeps accidentally flirting with Javert and then getting adorably flustered and Javert has stayed in the closet for the sake of his job for twenty-five years but now politics are changing and maybe he can let himself have this? maybe? if Valjean is for real?
They buy each other a lot of coffee and then this happens. And also there's some big historical event that happened in/with the town (idk what, it doesn't even really matter what continent this is on okay) that means there's an annual living history day where everybody dresses in 19th century clothing for a day and goes to a big period-costume ball and stuff and everybody smiles and laughs a lot and nobody dies.
etc. etc. you get the idea this AU is based entirely on Voksen's habit of posting set pictures of them in costume but not in character and has no other redeeming features at all.
If you want something canon-era: the one where Valjean is recruited into the Surete after M-sur-M, and Javert is assigned to work with him by the Paris police because they're under political pressure to work more closely with Vidocq's men even though they hate the Surete and everything about them, and Javert is the one person his boss is absolutely sure will stay apolitical and do the best job he can despite the despicable people he's being forced to work with.