The Romulan Commander was never named in her episode (and I don't think she was ever named in later show/movie canon), and in Rihannsu-verse, of course, her name was thrice written and thrice burned and never to be spoken, which I always thought was a clever way to deal with her lack of a canon name. I don't remember though, we might have gotten a name for her later, after Ael won - I really need to re-read Empty Chair because details are dropping out.

In other books, back when the books weren't all in continuity, she was given several different names. Memory Beta's entry has a best-case attempt in making them all work together, but tbh none of them sound particularly Rihannsu.

And I did somehow miss that PM! Thank you for poking me - I'd love to talk about it too. I'll send you a reply shortly. :D