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Let's raise a glass to - o wait.
So it has now been two months since I acquired a menstrual cup, and since I've so enjoyed all the posts from people switching to reusable cloth for the first time (in that delicious 'I could have told you so!' way that's not exactly schadenfreude) I thought I would give the same pleasure to all the cup-users on my list. :D
I got a Diva Cup, not because of some intensive comparison-shopping or review-reading, but because it was what I could buy in an actual store, and for many reasons I avoid ordering things online if I have any other choice. Also because if the ones on the shelf get bought, maybe they will start carrying more, and they'll become more mainstream.
The store was Whole Foods, which is a town away and we only get to every few months, but I think there are a couple other grocery-stores-with-pretension in the area that carry them too, so if you're looking to buy one, there might be something like that in your area.
It was awfully expensive, which is the main reason why I waited so long to get one. Not break-the-bank expensive, but too expensive for me to just get as an impulse buy. Part of the reason now is when I caved is that my first set of cloth pads, eleven years on, really are starting to approach the end of their lifespan, and it was time to either get news ones or get something else (And, frankly, cloth pads and cups are both more expensive than they ought to be - again with the taking it more mainstream problem.)
It does, however, come with a little cloth bag for storage, which is great because otherwise I'd be wasting brain cycles worrying about whether I was storing it properly. It also comes with fairly comprehensive instructions, and a pin that says "DIVA" on it, which I would gladly wear with pride if it said anything other than diva on it. Also it's marked out in milliliters so you know just exactly how heavy your flow is! Because science is for people with vaginas.
Putting it in is completely painless and easy. Now, I've never used tampons to speak of, and haven't even really messed with them seriously for a very long time, so I can't really compare to tampons, but I suspect that anyone who has the relevant body parts and has gotten themselves comfortable with their... capacities will have no real trouble inserting a cup, using the same methods one uses for inserting anything else. (If for some reason you have a vagina and aren't comfortable what it can do or manipulating it, or you have a reflex to tense up a lot, a menstrual cup probably isn't your thing anyway. Although if that's an ambition of yours, a cup might be a useful motivation to start... And I suspect that if you're still technically virgo intacta, you probably should take care of the hymen first, or the cup will do it for you eventually. And if you tend to be dry, you might need to slick up, but that is never a problem for me at that time of month.)
It comes with detailed instructions for how to fold it to fit, but I haven't found that part difficult at all. It also suggests you might need to cut the stem, but for me it seems to settle at exactly the right place with no trouble. The one frustrating thing is that the instructions recommend that you "rotate at least 180 deg" after insertion to make sure it's fully unfolded, and I am not sure how you are supposed to be able to do that, considering that the parts I can grip are perfectly cylindrical and by that point fairly slippery, so I have been just making sure it is unfolded in other ways.
So the strangest thing about wearing it? Is that I have been using pads for so long that it's really weird to know I'm on my period and not feel squishy in my crotch or get blood everywhere whenever I take my panties down. It's unnatural and I may go back to wearing pads at night for awhile, just because.
...which is just to say that yes, it works really well to keep blood from getting anywhere. Add that to the fact that I don't feel myself wearing it except when I really think about it, and I actually forgot I was on my period a few times (except when the cramps made sure I knew.) It leaked on me only once in the first few months, which was the third time I put it in, when I left it in on my heaviest flow day for what I knew was way, way too long and spent much of that time lying around in unusual positions (and even then, it didn't leak enough to get past a minimal pantyliner.)
"Way, way too long" : it seems to hold slightly more than the heaviest pad I've ever worn - that was something like 20-24 hours of heavy flow before it even leaked a little. (Yes, that is probably too long to leave it in regardless: there's a reason I decided I was unsafe to use tampons.)
Anyway, yes: it is spoiling me. Seriously, the only time I even notice it's there is when I use the toilet and feel the end of the stem while wiping.
Two weird things which are probably mostly psychosomatic: Once in awhile, I have noticed a tiny, tiny whiff of a scent that I had previously assumed was me smelling the blood in my pad, but since there's no way I'm smelling anything that's in the cup (seriously, it seals,) it must be a change in my body odor that I'm smelling. Which is ... interesting but strange. Also, I sometimes think I'm feeling a sort of crampy feeling for a little while after I put it in for the first time in the month, but considering I tend to get all sorts of interesting types of crampy feelings right about then, it's barely noticeable and not worth actually complaining about (and may be imaginary.)
I have basically been emptying it pretty much every time I use the toilet, which works fine, though I am trying to remember to empty it before I go rather than after, for minimal disgustingness while feeling around for it. Also, I am paranoid that at some point I will accidentally push it out into the toilet and then have to fish it out of my own mess, but that hasn't, actually, happened; I still want to remember to take it out first.
And then I just dump it into the toilet and rinse it out in the sink. Okay, so: I have been hand-washing cloth pads for ten years now, I am used to handling & seeing my own blood. If you aren't ... this is not as invisible as flushing a tampon or throwing out a pad. It doesn't all dump out in the toilet and then magically become clean and non-bloody (in fact, sometimes only about half of what's in there has actually been liquidy enough to just dump out, and I have to sort of twist it like honey on a spoon to keep from making a mess on the way to the sink.) Rinsing in the sink is necessary. Luckily, it is also very easy. Although I have not yet figured out a non-disgusting way to keep the little air-holes that keep it from forming a full vacuum from clogging up.
Also, on heavy days, there is so much red in the toilet that even after I flush, there is often a smudge still visible on the bottom, so I'm glad I keep a toilet brush handy. I haven't yet had to empty it in a public restroom, but I suspect it will involve extra flushes at high speed.
Pulling the thing out of me is actually harder than pushing it in: I think I need to get better at whatever motion is needed to break the vacuum seal, because, um, that vacuum seal is strong. However, I have never yet actually spilled it in the process. (Of course, I haven't tempted fate by pulling it out over anything other than a toilet or bathtub yet.)
And when I'm done for the month, I just rinse it extra-well, put it back in the bag, and not have to worry about it for another three weeks!
Next month is the real test, of course, because I will be camping in a tent the whole time. :D
The Cup Itself
I got a Diva Cup, not because of some intensive comparison-shopping or review-reading, but because it was what I could buy in an actual store, and for many reasons I avoid ordering things online if I have any other choice. Also because if the ones on the shelf get bought, maybe they will start carrying more, and they'll become more mainstream.
The store was Whole Foods, which is a town away and we only get to every few months, but I think there are a couple other grocery-stores-with-pretension in the area that carry them too, so if you're looking to buy one, there might be something like that in your area.
It was awfully expensive, which is the main reason why I waited so long to get one. Not break-the-bank expensive, but too expensive for me to just get as an impulse buy. Part of the reason now is when I caved is that my first set of cloth pads, eleven years on, really are starting to approach the end of their lifespan, and it was time to either get news ones or get something else (And, frankly, cloth pads and cups are both more expensive than they ought to be - again with the taking it more mainstream problem.)
It does, however, come with a little cloth bag for storage, which is great because otherwise I'd be wasting brain cycles worrying about whether I was storing it properly. It also comes with fairly comprehensive instructions, and a pin that says "DIVA" on it, which I would gladly wear with pride if it said anything other than diva on it. Also it's marked out in milliliters so you know just exactly how heavy your flow is! Because science is for people with vaginas.
Putting It In
Putting it in is completely painless and easy. Now, I've never used tampons to speak of, and haven't even really messed with them seriously for a very long time, so I can't really compare to tampons, but I suspect that anyone who has the relevant body parts and has gotten themselves comfortable with their... capacities will have no real trouble inserting a cup, using the same methods one uses for inserting anything else. (If for some reason you have a vagina and aren't comfortable what it can do or manipulating it, or you have a reflex to tense up a lot, a menstrual cup probably isn't your thing anyway. Although if that's an ambition of yours, a cup might be a useful motivation to start... And I suspect that if you're still technically virgo intacta, you probably should take care of the hymen first, or the cup will do it for you eventually. And if you tend to be dry, you might need to slick up, but that is never a problem for me at that time of month.)
It comes with detailed instructions for how to fold it to fit, but I haven't found that part difficult at all. It also suggests you might need to cut the stem, but for me it seems to settle at exactly the right place with no trouble. The one frustrating thing is that the instructions recommend that you "rotate at least 180 deg" after insertion to make sure it's fully unfolded, and I am not sure how you are supposed to be able to do that, considering that the parts I can grip are perfectly cylindrical and by that point fairly slippery, so I have been just making sure it is unfolded in other ways.
Wearing It
So the strangest thing about wearing it? Is that I have been using pads for so long that it's really weird to know I'm on my period and not feel squishy in my crotch or get blood everywhere whenever I take my panties down. It's unnatural and I may go back to wearing pads at night for awhile, just because.
...which is just to say that yes, it works really well to keep blood from getting anywhere. Add that to the fact that I don't feel myself wearing it except when I really think about it, and I actually forgot I was on my period a few times (except when the cramps made sure I knew.) It leaked on me only once in the first few months, which was the third time I put it in, when I left it in on my heaviest flow day for what I knew was way, way too long and spent much of that time lying around in unusual positions (and even then, it didn't leak enough to get past a minimal pantyliner.)
"Way, way too long" : it seems to hold slightly more than the heaviest pad I've ever worn - that was something like 20-24 hours of heavy flow before it even leaked a little. (Yes, that is probably too long to leave it in regardless: there's a reason I decided I was unsafe to use tampons.)
Anyway, yes: it is spoiling me. Seriously, the only time I even notice it's there is when I use the toilet and feel the end of the stem while wiping.
Two weird things which are probably mostly psychosomatic: Once in awhile, I have noticed a tiny, tiny whiff of a scent that I had previously assumed was me smelling the blood in my pad, but since there's no way I'm smelling anything that's in the cup (seriously, it seals,) it must be a change in my body odor that I'm smelling. Which is ... interesting but strange. Also, I sometimes think I'm feeling a sort of crampy feeling for a little while after I put it in for the first time in the month, but considering I tend to get all sorts of interesting types of crampy feelings right about then, it's barely noticeable and not worth actually complaining about (and may be imaginary.)
Emptying it
I have basically been emptying it pretty much every time I use the toilet, which works fine, though I am trying to remember to empty it before I go rather than after, for minimal disgustingness while feeling around for it. Also, I am paranoid that at some point I will accidentally push it out into the toilet and then have to fish it out of my own mess, but that hasn't, actually, happened; I still want to remember to take it out first.
And then I just dump it into the toilet and rinse it out in the sink. Okay, so: I have been hand-washing cloth pads for ten years now, I am used to handling & seeing my own blood. If you aren't ... this is not as invisible as flushing a tampon or throwing out a pad. It doesn't all dump out in the toilet and then magically become clean and non-bloody (in fact, sometimes only about half of what's in there has actually been liquidy enough to just dump out, and I have to sort of twist it like honey on a spoon to keep from making a mess on the way to the sink.) Rinsing in the sink is necessary. Luckily, it is also very easy. Although I have not yet figured out a non-disgusting way to keep the little air-holes that keep it from forming a full vacuum from clogging up.
Also, on heavy days, there is so much red in the toilet that even after I flush, there is often a smudge still visible on the bottom, so I'm glad I keep a toilet brush handy. I haven't yet had to empty it in a public restroom, but I suspect it will involve extra flushes at high speed.
Pulling the thing out of me is actually harder than pushing it in: I think I need to get better at whatever motion is needed to break the vacuum seal, because, um, that vacuum seal is strong. However, I have never yet actually spilled it in the process. (Of course, I haven't tempted fate by pulling it out over anything other than a toilet or bathtub yet.)
And when I'm done for the month, I just rinse it extra-well, put it back in the bag, and not have to worry about it for another three weeks!
Summary
Cups are awesome, why wasn't I using one ten years ago?Next month is the real test, of course, because I will be camping in a tent the whole time. :D
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But even just switching between cloth and disposable pads makes me aware of how gross disposable pads makes me. Also, there is sometimes a faint burning sensation (!) that goes away completely when I use cloth.
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...I had the burning sensation too. I thought "inflamed vulva" was a normal menstrual symptom until I stopped using disposables!
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/random cup-using interloper
But yeah, I tried with a Keeper first, which was terrible, because it's a very stiff material and I pretty much couldn't get it to work at all, and now I have a BlueCup, which is, if I recall correctly, technically a bit wider (though shorter), but folds easily, so after the first couple times wherein I had to figure out what fold worked best, it's actually really easy to insert.
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If I had actually tried using one before I had even done enough playing with insertables to break my hymen, it would probably still have seemed big, but if you can manage, oh, say, the wide end of a standard-sized taper candle, I think it would be fine.
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This is a surprisingly common side effect (in my case, not so faint). I don't get it with organic cotton disposables, but those are pricey.
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I will never go back to disposable pads. Ever.
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I still use disposable pads once or twice a year when the "disposable" is worth it (like sixteen hours with nothing but porta-potties and what's in my pockets, say), but that is pretty much it. I suspect that post-cup, I will not be using them at all.
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(And they really don't feel gross, generally. I'm sure cups are nicer, but not for me.)
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I kept the stem long. If I'm not careful when I put it in, sometimes it's a nuisance, but I can always take it out & reposition. And it gives me something to grab to get it out on those times when it's really well-stuck.
Biggest hassle: Public/office restrooms where the sink is not near the toilet.
I sometimes put it in wrong, like not unfolded correctly, and then I leak. And I leak around it sometimes on heavy days anyway.
When I bought it, they mentioned two sizes; I'm on the larger one 'cos I've given birth. Maybe it doesn't seal as well across the cervix in that case? Or, more likely, anatomies come in more than two sizes & shapes, and some people are just going to be outside the range that the cups are perfect for.
I've considered making cloth pads; there are local people who make them out of flannel and that seems reasonable. I think I'd get frustrated with the sliding-around aspect (hard to keep them anchored) and I know I'd have problems with washing them. (No washer in the house; we share 2 washing machines with 25 other apartments.)
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I'm fairly sure mine isn't actually going in far enough to go across the cervix, as opposed to just sealing across the canal. But, yeah, I know there are some people who've said they just don't work for their anatomy, and it's possible that having-given-birth makes it less likely to seal well, too.
Cloth pads: washing really is the annoying part with them, but you do get used to it. The ones I have (also the only brand sold in local stores) wants you to rinse/soak as soon as possible, which is annoying and I don't always do. However, someone else commenting in this post recently started using Party in my Pants brand, and apparently they say that you aren't allowed to do anything other than just throwing them in the normal wash, so maybe with some of the newer ones it really is that simple. I have some light home-made cotton ones I use as pantiliners on spotting days (and have worn under the cup) and with just spotting they're no problem to just throw it the laundry basket.
The anchoring: I find it... no more annoying than disposable pads, anchoring-wise. The problems are different, but at least with the cloth ones I don't have to worry about them twisting around and getting stuck to my pubic hair. X|
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Yes. I've read some people just wipe it out, but I cannot get over the idea of it not actually being cleaned before I reinsert it. Luckily I can leave mine in over 12 hours most of the time, so it's pretty easy to wait until I can find a private bathroom to clean it in, but still.
It's technically not a vacuum seal, it's really just being held up via the size of the cup and the walls of the vagina by my understanding, so possibly it would help you just to have a different size/shape? Like something with a wider rim than the Keeper/Diva (which I think are basically the same), which has a pretty narrow diameter compared to others. But then also some women just have heavier flow, too, so it could just be that if you're only leaking on heavy days.
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My rationale here is that any blood left on the cup was in my body a few seconds ago anyway. And if I didn't empty the cup, it would still be there, along with lots more blood.
(I bleed very heavily some of the time, so I've had to get used to emptying the cup at times when I can't wash it out properly.)
But squickage is very individual, so YMMV.
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Out of frustration, I wound up taking some structurally sound underpants, and some soft but unloved washcloths, and a needle and thread (sewing machine is faster, though), and making anchored pad underpants. I folded the washcloth in a size to fit the relevant bit of the underpants, and then sewed it down.
I would not wear them on a day when I suspected that something untoward might happen, nor would I wear them when away from a suitably secure laundry basket/a replacement pair for more than ~8-12 hours, but for lightish days when my bits don't want additional woe, it's perfectly workable for me. They stay put, and they did not blow my budget.
My use involves an in-apartment washer; I just chuck them in and do the laundry every few days. I would imagine that it might take a little more doing, and I might suggest soaking, for other situations...
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And how awesome is it that my biggest worry re: feminine hygiene is that I will forget I'm on my period entirely? SO AWESOME.
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But I'll get around to it one day. And unlike, apparently, everyone else here, I actually like pads- my entire abdomen goes squishy during most of my period and I like the extra support they give when I'm wearing pants (or, yes, trousers, for those across the pond). So I'm good for the moment.
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And I do like pads! Well, the cloth ones, at least. Which is part of the reason I was in no real hurry to buy myself a cup. Actually I thought I would miss them a lot more than I do.
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and if you'd like more info/comparisons/etc - this woman has a whole blog post (or series of posts) about the different ones: http://labyrinth.net.au/~obsidian/clothpads/Cups.html
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Toothpicks! Possibly still disgusting, but extremely effective.
Next month is the real test, of course, because I will be camping in a tent the whole time. :D
My one piece of advice: if you have to empty your menstrual cup while squatting in the bushes in a forest, take handwipes with you.
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(Well, okay: I have a small towel, and some handsoap, and my water bottle. And I try to find a fallen log or rock to "sit" against, so I don't actually have to squat.)
I've used my Diva cup for, hmm, going on 7 years now. The only negative is that I find I have to pee (or think I do) more frequently.
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"Bear down" just means to 'push' the way you are designed to push when birthing a baby. If you've never ejected anything from your vagina using just vaginal muscles, a) I recommend it! It makes you feel powerful about being a woman! :D and b) pushing the way you'd push out a bowel movement usually activates some of the same muscles, if you have no idea where to start. Or you can look into kegel exercises. The thing to remember is that vaginas are designed to push out things much, much more difficult get out than a simple cup.
I have no idea about "adjust one's cervix" and I'm not sure how a cervix is involved in getting out a cup anyway...
I haven't had to do any of that, anyway, although pushing a little can help. I just reach in with my fingers and pull it out. Sometimes it does "stick" a little - and I'm pretty sure that's suction, no matter what people say - but that is fixable by squeezing the cup a little to change the shape of the rim. And if I had dryness problems I can see that I might need lube. (Getting it out is easy. Getting it out without squeezing/tipping it so much that you spill the contents everywhere is the tricky part, in my experience.) If you don't think you can reach into your vagina with your fingers, and feel around if necessary, though, it might be difficult. And with the things already mentioned about it all probably being harder if you have a hymen intact, even if you already use tampons.
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It's niquerio who still uses LJ
(Anonymous) 2011-07-15 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)Re: It's niquerio who still uses LJ
Re: It's niquerio who still uses LJ
(Anonymous) 2011-07-16 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)So looking forward to seeing you!
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I'd dearly love to try a cup, but I'm not entirely, er, cylindrical, and am dubious about whether I could get a good seal. This post makes me want to take a crack at it anyway.
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AREN'T THEY AWESOME THOUGH? OMG.