Theresa Nielsen Hayden (makinglight) had a post today called "The Grieving Process". It said some self-evident things, some things that were deep in denial, some knee-jerk emotional things that I don't agree with, and one thing that really hit me: "They can tell we're not just acting like we lost an election."

We aren't, you know. We didn't just lose an election. People were seriously devastated by this; I've heard of at least two suicides or near-suicides over it, people crying who don't cry over anything less than the death of a loved one, people seriously made *ill* over the election results, people who are fighting angry, who are still in shock, who are channelling their energy into trying to salvage anything they can. People who are deep in denial and trying to get Kerry to retract his concession. We're *grieving*. We really are.

And it's not over losing an election; us liberals have lost every election I've ever voted in, including the vote I put in for Dukakis when I was five, and I just shrugged and said we'd try harder next time, and that's what democracy's about. It's not about the issues, really, or the war, or not exactly about them. Heck, by last Saturday I was willing to admit that Kerry winning would only be mildly less disastrous in the short term than Bush winning, and probably worse in the long run, but I was grieving last week, too, in my way.

Because what we lost this year wasn't an election, it was a dream. Yes, *that* dream. The "I Have A Dream" dream. The American Dream. The dream that government by the people and for the people really does work long term, that people are basically good, even in large groups, that people will choose liberty, truth and justice if they're offered a choice, that Americans are too wise to let themselves be ruled by fear and bread-and-circuses, that we might make mistakes but we try to do the right thing, that this country deserves its status as a great nation and a great people. This election, for many of us, was an act of faith. Evangelical Christian, Jewish, atheist, Islamic, pagan, once-a-year Protestant, agnostic, whatever; however cynical we might try to be on the surface, we shared an idealistic faith in humanity and in America which has always been a part of being a bleeding-heart liberal, and which meant we were going to win, because it was *right*, and this was America, and so we had to.

And then Tuesday slapped us in the face and said nope, haha, these people you care so much about? They like the bad guys better.

Losing your faith is really, really hard. Losing your trust in something you love with all your heart is devastating. But, well, our faith was misplaced. We were wrong. And I'm glad I finally learned that, even if I hate knowing it.

First, in the Random Invertebrate News department: Squid are not only more intelligently designed than humans, and not only the sinister and powerful children of Cthulhu, they've also defeated us in the race for Ruler of the World-- and we gave them the weapons they needed to do it. Also, in a stunningly illogical decision, it's been declared that NYC water is not kosher, due to possible presence of copepods. Clearly there's a vast conspiracy here.

And then I (being home at the moment-- you knew I came home for the night, right?) got a chance to read the big Was Darwin Wrong? article in National Geographic. ( Unimpressed, National Geographic, unimpressed )

And in a completely transparent segue, in apology for my post yesterday, on the advice of about half my flist,

1. Stop talking about politics for a moment or two.
2. Post a reasonably-sized picture in your LJ, NOT under a cut tag, of something pleasant, such as an adorable kitten squid, or a fluffy white cloud red nudibranch, or a bottle of booze fossil archaeocyathan. Something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS.
3. Include these instructions, and share the love.




The bandwidth is stolen, so I'm literally sharing the love. Sorry. But my paleontology class is reminding me of my great and abiding love for marine invertebrates. One of my early memories is begging my parents to let me watch a documentary because the commercials showed Spanish Dancers dancing (the fluffy red thing-- but they're even more beautiful in motion.) That inspired me to go find the report I did in 3rd Grade science on nudibranchs, and in the spirit of the "Post your embarassing juvenilia" meme, here goes:

( An interesting animal is the sea slug ... )

So apparently I was fascinated by genderfuck even way back then. :D I also found my fifth grade report on sea cucumbers, but you don't need to know about an elementary school oral report the highlight of which was its subject's ability to vomit its intestines out of its anus.

Plus, I found something I'd *entirely* forgotten about: A Miss Webber-mandated journal which covers all of Third Grade. I'm completely unable to resist the temptation to add it do my lj through the magic of backdating, so keep your eye out. Even though katrianya is probably the only person who also remembers those halcyon days.

( Sample entry )

I adored Miss Webber but I must have been an awful little girl. q:

Also, did you know that Halloween 1991, Tootsie Rolls were the most common candy in my neighborhood? I scored 23 of them. Dum-dums were second, at only twelve, and I got eleven packs of smarties. I would scan in the whole bar graph, with all 31 varieties collected, but Mom wants the computer. (And no, it wasn't a school assignment: I was just *that much* of a dork. Yay!)

I may post some actual old Mary-Sue later, if I get more useful stuff done first.