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slash.
Rather than me getting work done, tonight Mom and I watched our first ever Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Dorothy Lamour "The Road To" movie. She had a two-DVD set, and we picked "The Road to Bali" because she asked which one was more likely to have scantily clad men. Now, I had heard about these movies, and I was expecting them to be better with slash goggles on. Turns out I was wrong. I didn't *need* the goggles. This is a movie from 1952, they can't even show girls' belly buttons, and yet . . .
Well. I got about halfway through the movie and I still didn't know which one of the guys she would pick to marry, but what made most sense to *me* is that they would marry each other, and she would go off with someone who was worthy of her. Turns out I was completely and utterly . . . right. Don't believe me?
About an hour into the 91-minute movie, I realize that the subtext may not be remaining actually subtextual, when Dorothy "Lala the token love interest" Lamour (Lala was her character's name. No, really). has a dream. About Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis kissing.
And you girls thought you invented popslash.
It is confirmed that they are thinking along the same lines I am when, about five minutes later, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope kiss.
Nope. No subtext here, mates.
Mom and I blinked. Yep, they actually kissed. How enlightened for the fifties. Little did we know what would happen next . . .
They get married!
(No, it's not very clear from the screencaps what's happing. Bob and Bing are the ones in the matching white outfits, the priest's in yellow holding the marriage cup.)
Don't believe me?
The morning after:
Unfortunately, it turns out that the natives, while very advanced in their acceptance of alternative lifestyles, are planning to sacrifice our heroes to the volcano god. But they leave them enough time for a touching farewell:
"And here we are, in life as in death, we face it together." ----actual line from this screencap!
And then, French kisses!
"C'est la guerre." --- See? French! (-;
Fortunately, the Volcano god objects to same-sex unions. In the confusion they escape and run off to rescue Lala, but get a little distracted:
(yes, this is a common gag, and really cheap subtext. But they *are* newlyweds.)
We have less than three minutes left in the movie at this point. Bob, Bing and Dorothy escape. Now they have to work up the nerve to tell her they got married without her:
Actually, they don't. Even these guys have to bow to the establishment at some point. In this case, it's at 1:29:30 of a 91-minute movie, when Dorothy picks one of them by drawing straws.
Fortunately, the other one has a little something hidden away under his tunic--
"That's my gallant little man! Always thinking!"
And he conjures Jane Russell with his magic flute.
So Jane and Dorothy stroll off down the beach together. Unfortunately, they take one of the guys with them.
However, just in case there's anybody left in the audience who still *believes* he's going to marry a girl, we are told that the story isn't over. It's not the end. No way. Couldn't possibly be! We've been gypped!
"Get the writers! Get the producers! Get my agent! Sabotage!"
They get more kisses with each other than either of them get with the girl. Including the last kiss in the movie. And the only wedding scene and only shared bed. Are all these movies like this? Because I have another one right here. . .
I also downloaded the dvd-ripper![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stellar_dust recommended in her vidding tutorial. We'll see if that goes anywhere. And I got my dvd drive on my computer slightly more working-ish, turns out there were file permission issues with the scsi emulator. But I fixed it! All by myself! Yay! It does appear, however, as dreamsquirrel stated, that the cd-rw is truly dead, though it still doesn't make any sense. Somebody needs to start a 'Car Talk' for computers.
I'd also like to note the dial-up is being absolutely awful. Both providers. I'm lucky if it connects in less than six tries, stays connected for half an hour, and you don't *want* to know how long it took me to upload those screenshots. So my online time is limited and erratic for the forseeable future.
Well. I got about halfway through the movie and I still didn't know which one of the guys she would pick to marry, but what made most sense to *me* is that they would marry each other, and she would go off with someone who was worthy of her. Turns out I was completely and utterly . . . right. Don't believe me?
About an hour into the 91-minute movie, I realize that the subtext may not be remaining actually subtextual, when Dorothy "Lala the token love interest" Lamour (Lala was her character's name. No, really). has a dream. About Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis kissing.
And you girls thought you invented popslash.
It is confirmed that they are thinking along the same lines I am when, about five minutes later, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope kiss.
Nope. No subtext here, mates.
Mom and I blinked. Yep, they actually kissed. How enlightened for the fifties. Little did we know what would happen next . . .
They get married!
(No, it's not very clear from the screencaps what's happing. Bob and Bing are the ones in the matching white outfits, the priest's in yellow holding the marriage cup.)
Don't believe me?
The morning after:
Unfortunately, it turns out that the natives, while very advanced in their acceptance of alternative lifestyles, are planning to sacrifice our heroes to the volcano god. But they leave them enough time for a touching farewell:
"And here we are, in life as in death, we face it together." ----actual line from this screencap!
And then, French kisses!
"C'est la guerre." --- See? French! (-;
Fortunately, the Volcano god objects to same-sex unions. In the confusion they escape and run off to rescue Lala, but get a little distracted:
(yes, this is a common gag, and really cheap subtext. But they *are* newlyweds.)
We have less than three minutes left in the movie at this point. Bob, Bing and Dorothy escape. Now they have to work up the nerve to tell her they got married without her:
Actually, they don't. Even these guys have to bow to the establishment at some point. In this case, it's at 1:29:30 of a 91-minute movie, when Dorothy picks one of them by drawing straws.
Fortunately, the other one has a little something hidden away under his tunic--
"That's my gallant little man! Always thinking!"
And he conjures Jane Russell with his magic flute.
So Jane and Dorothy stroll off down the beach together. Unfortunately, they take one of the guys with them.
However, just in case there's anybody left in the audience who still *believes* he's going to marry a girl, we are told that the story isn't over. It's not the end. No way. Couldn't possibly be! We've been gypped!
"Get the writers! Get the producers! Get my agent! Sabotage!"
They get more kisses with each other than either of them get with the girl. Including the last kiss in the movie. And the only wedding scene and only shared bed. Are all these movies like this? Because I have another one right here. . .
I also downloaded the dvd-ripper
stellar_dust recommended in her vidding tutorial. We'll see if that goes anywhere. And I got my dvd drive on my computer slightly more working-ish, turns out there were file permission issues with the scsi emulator. But I fixed it! All by myself! Yay! It does appear, however, as dreamsquirrel stated, that the cd-rw is truly dead, though it still doesn't make any sense. Somebody needs to start a 'Car Talk' for computers.I'd also like to note the dial-up is being absolutely awful. Both providers. I'm lucky if it connects in less than six tries, stays connected for half an hour, and you don't *want* to know how long it took me to upload those screenshots. So my online time is limited and erratic for the forseeable future.
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"The Screen Savers (http://www.g4techtv.com/show.aspx?show_key=52)" is about the closest they have to a; let's say "Computer Talk"; right now. Try calling into them. Not sure what times they take calls though, since the schedule swap.