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In which we learn why I rarely filk.
For those of you who haven't read the latest Harry Potter book, because you're waiting for the paperback, or just prefer some medium other than print, I present:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Musical
"Hello, Dolly!"
Adapted from the novel by J. K. Rowling
Starring, in order of appearance,
DOLLY as DOLORES UMBRIDGE
CORNELIUS as CORNELIUS FUDGE
Percy Weasley
Sirius Black
Kreacher the House-Elf * Fred and George Weasley * Harry Potter * Ron Weasley * Nymphadora Tonks * Ginny Weasley * Molly Weasley * Remus Lupin * Mad-Eye Moody * Lucius Malfoy * Luna Lovegood * Colin Creevey * Neville Longbottom * Zacharias Smith * Cho Chang * The Dark Lord * Albus Dumbledore
And Hermione Granger, who manages to be in every scene, even though she doesn't actually do anything.
and assorted Ministry Workers, Order of the Phoenix Members, Dumbledore's Army members, Inquisitorial Squad members, Ancestral Portraits, Death Eaters, and Centaurs.
Our story begins early one summer morning in the entry hall of London's Ministry of Magic. Dolores Umbridge, called Dolly, the Special Assistant to Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, is on her way to preside at the disciplinary hearing of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived-- in truth she intends expelling him from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, no matter what-- and she reveals what sort of woman she is as she sings
I PUT MY HAND IN
CHORUS OF MINISTRY WORKERS: Call on Dolly!
She's the one the Minister recommends.
Just name the kind of punishments you want and she'll get 'em right
Don't forget to bring your misled kids and she'll set 'em right.
Call on Dolly if you think this nonsense needs to end.
MAN: (spoken) Tell me, Ms. Umbridge, what's in all this for you?
Dolly: A living, Mr. Kingsley. Some people paint, some sew; I meddle!
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
For the pleasure and the profit it derives.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
Like furniture, and sentencings, and lives.
If a man with a pleasant air is a wolf when the moon's in her phase.
Why should the tortured creature live a life of shame,
When with one curse, he'd be gone, and beyond his neighbors' blame.
So I put my hand in here. I put my hand in there.
And a girl over twenty feet loves a man who comes up to her knee.
Surely, it's obviously a life they couldn't keep
So some kind soul condescends to put the giantess to sleep.
So I put my hand in there. I put my hand in here.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
It's my duty to finagle every clause.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
Like luncheon parties, governments, and laws.
And I once met a fish-thing who thought that he ought to be equal to men;.
The poor beast couldn't even understand a word I said,
But today you could say that his ambitions all have fled.
I put my hand in here--
And twist a little, pat a little, this a little, that a little, shape a little, mold a little, some poor chap gets sold a little.
When I use my fist a little, some young lad gets Kissed a little.
Pressure with the thumbs, legislation comes, when . . .
I put my hand in there!
Later, after Headmaster Dumbledore arranges Harry's acquittal, we meet Minister Cornelius Fudge, and his eager Junior Assistant, Percy Weasley. They have decided that something needs to be done about Dumbledore, Hogwarts, and the vicious rumors he is speading that the Dark Lord Voldemort has returned. They find the perfect solution: Appoint Dolly to fill the vacant Defense Against the Dark Arts professorship. Why Dolly? Because
IT TAKES A WOMAN
CORNELIUS: It takes a woman all flowered and pink,
To joyously tell all the brats what to think.
And it takes an angel with long curling lashes,
And soft stumpy fingers, for handling classes...
PERCY: Yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes it takes a woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.*
CORNELIUS: A frail young maiden who's constantly there,
For watching, and weeding, and reading the mail!
And it takes a female for giving detention,
And firing teachers, and things we won't mention...
PERCY: Oh yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes it takes woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.
And so she'll work until infinity, three cheers for feminity!
(Spoken)Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! F-E-M-I-T-Y!
CORNELIUS: And at the school she won't compromise,
She'll stop Harry Potter from spreading his lies.
She's a joy and treasure for practic'lly thinking,
Who else tortures students, without even blinking?
BOTH: It's that dainty woman, that fragile woman,
That Special Assistant, that witch.
Oh yes, it takes a woman,
CORNELIUS: A husky woman
BOTH: To be Hogwarts' resident snitch!
Oh, yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes, it takes a woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.
*I realize this word has other connotations in the HP-verse. Feel free to substitute something else that rhymes with "witch".
Meanwhile, Harry and his friends, along with the Order of the Phoenix, a group of Voldemort-fighters, are hiding out at the ancestral home of the escaped convict Sirius Black. It's a gloomy place, infested with Dark Arts and Kreacher the mad house-elf, but the mood cheers up as they head to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters for a new year at school. It's time to
PUT ON YOUR HOGWARTS ROBES
SIRIUS: Out there, there's a world outside of Grimmauld Place,
Way out there beyond this sad house, Kreacher,
There's a madhouse, Kreacher!
Out there, full of shine and full of sparkle,
Close your eyes and see it glisten, Kreacher.
Listen, Kreacher!
FRED and GEORGE: Put on your Hogwarts robes, there's lots of pranks out there,
Get out the fireworks and fake cigars. We're gonna find our fortunes in a purple pill,
Quills that quack and a Skiving Snack, yes we're back to practice our skill . .
HARRY and RON: Put on your Hogwarts robes, we're gonna ride to school
In the one of those old horseless Thestral cars.
We'll earn some wins off some Slytherins and begin the year with a bang, and
HARRY: I won't come home until I've kissed Cho Chang!
NYMPHADORA: Put on your Hogwarts robes when you feel down and out.
Reshape your nose into a hairy hook.
Dressed like a dream, your spirits seem to turn about.
That witchy shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look!
CHORUS of ORDER MEMBERS: Beneath your pointy hat you feel that magic strobe
That wizards always knew around the globe!
Get out your letters, your Weasley sweaters, your owls and kneazles and toads,
For you won't be fools in your school robes.
GINNY: Put on your Hogwarts robes when you feel down and out.
Strut down the street and have your picture took.
Dressed like a dream, your spirit seems to turn about.
That witchy shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look!
CHORUS: Beneath your pointy hat you feel that magic strobe
That wizards always knew around the globe!
Get out your letters, your Weasley sweaters, your owls and kneazles and toads,
For you won't be fools in your school robes.
MOLLY: (Spoken) Tonks, my dear, stop changing form, you look like Aunt Bellatrix!
We haven't missed the train yet, thank the Lord.
Ginny, can you find the twins before they start to play tricks?
We're seven minutes late! (whistle) All aboard!
ALL: All aboard! All aboard! All aboard! All aboard!
LUPIN: Put on your Hogwarts robes, there's lots to learn out there.
Forget your cursemarks and your tragic past.
Don't be so mad, I know that life's not fair,
But your scars will mend as you comprehend that you've found the friendships that last!
MOODY: Cleaned off my magic eye after that nice long rest,
I'll show those bad guys Mad-eye's still the best!
MALFOYS: We'll join the Dark Lord and travel Mark-ward and this we'll be aiming for:
CHORUS: That we won't come home . . . That we won't come home . . . That we won't come home until we start a war!
On the train ride, we meet the new character Luna Lovegood, a friend of Ginny Weasley's who has been completely ignored for the past four years. We find that Luna's tired of being overlooked by Harry's crowd, even if she is a bit eccentric, as she sings
LIONS ON MY HEAD
LUNA: I'll be wearing lions on my head this autumn,
Red and gold and roaring at the Quidditch game.
So if someone special comes my way, this autumn,
He might just remember my name.
And so, I'll try to make it easier to find me,
Like a Snorkack in the halls.
Perhaps the nargles will not really try to blind me.
And I'll figure the runes, and answer the calls.
And he might need my father's help, this winter,
Helping him to learn how pressing Press can be.
And so I will proudly wear lions on my head,
Roaring in my hair, that he might notice me.
And so I will proudly wear lions on my head,
Roaring in my hair, that he might notice me.
The hopeful mood is ruined at the Opening Feast, when Dolly is revealed as the new defense teacher, and, uninvited, gives a long speech, mostly incomprehensible, which reveals her political stance to anyone who cares to listen:
MOTHERHOOD (Dolly's Speech)
DOLLY:
I stand for motherhood, the Ministry, and a hot lunch for orphans.
Everyone clap, the Headmaster's golden boy is passing.
Did you see him when he won the tournament, babbling of the Dark Lord's rise?
If you hear them say they work against Lord Voldemort,
Remember it's lies, lies, lies!
I stand for motherhood, the Ministry, and a hot lunch for orphans.
Do you believe that there's a tear-stained phoenix passing?
Did you see him with the sword of Gryffindor, babbling of the Dark Lord's rise?
If you hear them say Lord Voldemort is back in force,
Remember it's lies, lies, lies!
I stand for--
Parseltongue, remember the Parseltongue.
I regret that I can't do more for the Ministry--
In the words of Albus: "We've reached a parting of the ways."
"Yes, I helped the murderer escape."
O, Gilderoy Lockhart! Glory, glory, and more glory!
Remember it's lies, lies . . .
(Spoken)It ended fourteen years ago!
Lies, lies, lies . . .
"The one against whom I intend to work". . . Lies, lies . . .
"The truth is generally preferable to lies" . . .
Lies, lies, lies.
Despite her best efforts to not teach the students anything that could be useful, however, the students decide to learn combat magic on their own. They form a secret club they call Dumbledore's Army, because that's what the Minister is afraid they will become, and they elect Harry Potter to teach them
DEFENSE
HARRY: (spoken) Just give me five minutes of your time, Mr. MacMillan, and I'll have you duelling with the Dark Lord.
Put your hand on your wand, and stand with your wand hand toward your opponent's . . .
And one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three . . .
Take the student whose wand you face, hold on to yours tight and brace, and one two three one two three one two three . . .
LUNA: Wow, I'm duelling!
HARRY: Say a curse and say a curse, try hexing off his hair. Can't you be a little less frenetic?
COLIN: Don't you think my wandwork has a polish and a flair?
HARRY: Er, the word I think I'd use is "athletic".
NEVILLE: Well, my heart is about to burst. My head is about to pop, and now that I'm duelling who cares if I ever stop!
(spoken) Look, everybody. I, Neville Longbottom, Duffer, am duelling!
HARRY: (spoken) You're next, Mr. Smith.
Flick and swish and then swish and flick,
ZACHARIAS: It's a very simple trick.
COLIN (spoken) Look, he's duelling.
HARRY: You could learn Patronus if you worked a week or so, or Convitus used for dragon taming.
NEVILLE: I might join the Aurors like my parents long ago.
HARRY: Whatever you do, for God's sake start aiming.
EVERYONE: For my heart is about to burst, my head is about to pop,
And now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
CHO CHANG: When there's someone you hardly know, but wish you were closer to,
Remember that he can be near to you while you're duelling.
Though you've only just said "hello", he's suddenly someone who
Can make all your daydreams appear to you while you're duelling.
Let the magic tie a knot. Curse through all your classes.
Boys look almost twice as hot when they're wearing glasses!
HARRY: As around and around you go, your spirits will hit the top, and
Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
ALL: Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
Meanwhile, Sirius Black has been stuck in Grimmauld Place, getting bored and lonely and depressed. When Harry calls him to report that the scar Voldemort gave him has been hurting, it becomes apparent that Sirius is probably doomed. He sings that he wants to get out and taste excitment at least once more
BEFORE THE BIG FIGHT WHERE I DIE (Sirius' Soliloquy)
SIRIUS: Before the big fight where I die,
I wanna go and taste Saturday's high life.
Before the big fight where I die,
I wanna get some life back into my life.
I'm ready to move out in front.
I've had enough of just passing by life.
With the rest of them, with the best of them, I can hold my head up high!
For I've got a goal again, I've got a drive again,
I wanna feel my heart coming alive again,
Before the big fight where I die.
Look at the Order re-formed, listen and hear all those tough fighters crowing.
Look at the Order re-formed. Pardon me if my old spirit is showing.
All of my dear friends long gone wouldn't be sitting here while they're going.
When the jinxes fly, and the hexes hit, and the curses light the sky,
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me an Auror's cloak, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
ANCESTRAL BLACK FAMILY PORTRAITS: Before the big fight where he dies, he's gonna join those vile blood traitors crowing.
Look at the Order back there. Pardon us if our old bile is showing.
All of those mudbloods he likes leaving him sitting here while they're going.
SIRIUS: When the jinxes fly, and the hexes hit, and the curses light the sky,
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me an Auror's cloak, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me a pointy hat, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
End Act One
To be continued . . .
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Musical
"Hello, Dolly!"
Adapted from the novel by J. K. Rowling
Starring, in order of appearance,
DOLLY as DOLORES UMBRIDGE
CORNELIUS as CORNELIUS FUDGE
Percy Weasley
Sirius Black
Kreacher the House-Elf * Fred and George Weasley * Harry Potter * Ron Weasley * Nymphadora Tonks * Ginny Weasley * Molly Weasley * Remus Lupin * Mad-Eye Moody * Lucius Malfoy * Luna Lovegood * Colin Creevey * Neville Longbottom * Zacharias Smith * Cho Chang * The Dark Lord * Albus Dumbledore
And Hermione Granger, who manages to be in every scene, even though she doesn't actually do anything.
and assorted Ministry Workers, Order of the Phoenix Members, Dumbledore's Army members, Inquisitorial Squad members, Ancestral Portraits, Death Eaters, and Centaurs.
Our story begins early one summer morning in the entry hall of London's Ministry of Magic. Dolores Umbridge, called Dolly, the Special Assistant to Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, is on her way to preside at the disciplinary hearing of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived-- in truth she intends expelling him from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, no matter what-- and she reveals what sort of woman she is as she sings
I PUT MY HAND IN
CHORUS OF MINISTRY WORKERS: Call on Dolly!
She's the one the Minister recommends.
Just name the kind of punishments you want and she'll get 'em right
Don't forget to bring your misled kids and she'll set 'em right.
Call on Dolly if you think this nonsense needs to end.
MAN: (spoken) Tell me, Ms. Umbridge, what's in all this for you?
Dolly: A living, Mr. Kingsley. Some people paint, some sew; I meddle!
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
For the pleasure and the profit it derives.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
Like furniture, and sentencings, and lives.
If a man with a pleasant air is a wolf when the moon's in her phase.
Why should the tortured creature live a life of shame,
When with one curse, he'd be gone, and beyond his neighbors' blame.
So I put my hand in here. I put my hand in there.
And a girl over twenty feet loves a man who comes up to her knee.
Surely, it's obviously a life they couldn't keep
So some kind soul condescends to put the giantess to sleep.
So I put my hand in there. I put my hand in here.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
It's my duty to finagle every clause.
I have always been a woman who arranges things,
Like luncheon parties, governments, and laws.
And I once met a fish-thing who thought that he ought to be equal to men;.
The poor beast couldn't even understand a word I said,
But today you could say that his ambitions all have fled.
I put my hand in here--
And twist a little, pat a little, this a little, that a little, shape a little, mold a little, some poor chap gets sold a little.
When I use my fist a little, some young lad gets Kissed a little.
Pressure with the thumbs, legislation comes, when . . .
I put my hand in there!
Later, after Headmaster Dumbledore arranges Harry's acquittal, we meet Minister Cornelius Fudge, and his eager Junior Assistant, Percy Weasley. They have decided that something needs to be done about Dumbledore, Hogwarts, and the vicious rumors he is speading that the Dark Lord Voldemort has returned. They find the perfect solution: Appoint Dolly to fill the vacant Defense Against the Dark Arts professorship. Why Dolly? Because
IT TAKES A WOMAN
CORNELIUS: It takes a woman all flowered and pink,
To joyously tell all the brats what to think.
And it takes an angel with long curling lashes,
And soft stumpy fingers, for handling classes...
PERCY: Yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes it takes a woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.*
CORNELIUS: A frail young maiden who's constantly there,
For watching, and weeding, and reading the mail!
And it takes a female for giving detention,
And firing teachers, and things we won't mention...
PERCY: Oh yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes it takes woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.
And so she'll work until infinity, three cheers for feminity!
(Spoken)Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! F-E-M-I-T-Y!
CORNELIUS: And at the school she won't compromise,
She'll stop Harry Potter from spreading his lies.
She's a joy and treasure for practic'lly thinking,
Who else tortures students, without even blinking?
BOTH: It's that dainty woman, that fragile woman,
That Special Assistant, that witch.
Oh yes, it takes a woman,
CORNELIUS: A husky woman
BOTH: To be Hogwarts' resident snitch!
Oh, yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman,
A Special Assistant, a witch.
Oh yes, it takes a woman, a fragile woman,
To be Hogwarts' resident snitch.
*I realize this word has other connotations in the HP-verse. Feel free to substitute something else that rhymes with "witch".
Meanwhile, Harry and his friends, along with the Order of the Phoenix, a group of Voldemort-fighters, are hiding out at the ancestral home of the escaped convict Sirius Black. It's a gloomy place, infested with Dark Arts and Kreacher the mad house-elf, but the mood cheers up as they head to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters for a new year at school. It's time to
PUT ON YOUR HOGWARTS ROBES
SIRIUS: Out there, there's a world outside of Grimmauld Place,
Way out there beyond this sad house, Kreacher,
There's a madhouse, Kreacher!
Out there, full of shine and full of sparkle,
Close your eyes and see it glisten, Kreacher.
Listen, Kreacher!
FRED and GEORGE: Put on your Hogwarts robes, there's lots of pranks out there,
Get out the fireworks and fake cigars. We're gonna find our fortunes in a purple pill,
Quills that quack and a Skiving Snack, yes we're back to practice our skill . .
HARRY and RON: Put on your Hogwarts robes, we're gonna ride to school
In the one of those old horseless Thestral cars.
We'll earn some wins off some Slytherins and begin the year with a bang, and
HARRY: I won't come home until I've kissed Cho Chang!
NYMPHADORA: Put on your Hogwarts robes when you feel down and out.
Reshape your nose into a hairy hook.
Dressed like a dream, your spirits seem to turn about.
That witchy shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look!
CHORUS of ORDER MEMBERS: Beneath your pointy hat you feel that magic strobe
That wizards always knew around the globe!
Get out your letters, your Weasley sweaters, your owls and kneazles and toads,
For you won't be fools in your school robes.
GINNY: Put on your Hogwarts robes when you feel down and out.
Strut down the street and have your picture took.
Dressed like a dream, your spirit seems to turn about.
That witchy shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look!
CHORUS: Beneath your pointy hat you feel that magic strobe
That wizards always knew around the globe!
Get out your letters, your Weasley sweaters, your owls and kneazles and toads,
For you won't be fools in your school robes.
MOLLY: (Spoken) Tonks, my dear, stop changing form, you look like Aunt Bellatrix!
We haven't missed the train yet, thank the Lord.
Ginny, can you find the twins before they start to play tricks?
We're seven minutes late! (whistle) All aboard!
ALL: All aboard! All aboard! All aboard! All aboard!
LUPIN: Put on your Hogwarts robes, there's lots to learn out there.
Forget your cursemarks and your tragic past.
Don't be so mad, I know that life's not fair,
But your scars will mend as you comprehend that you've found the friendships that last!
MOODY: Cleaned off my magic eye after that nice long rest,
I'll show those bad guys Mad-eye's still the best!
MALFOYS: We'll join the Dark Lord and travel Mark-ward and this we'll be aiming for:
CHORUS: That we won't come home . . . That we won't come home . . . That we won't come home until we start a war!
On the train ride, we meet the new character Luna Lovegood, a friend of Ginny Weasley's who has been completely ignored for the past four years. We find that Luna's tired of being overlooked by Harry's crowd, even if she is a bit eccentric, as she sings
LIONS ON MY HEAD
LUNA: I'll be wearing lions on my head this autumn,
Red and gold and roaring at the Quidditch game.
So if someone special comes my way, this autumn,
He might just remember my name.
And so, I'll try to make it easier to find me,
Like a Snorkack in the halls.
Perhaps the nargles will not really try to blind me.
And I'll figure the runes, and answer the calls.
And he might need my father's help, this winter,
Helping him to learn how pressing Press can be.
And so I will proudly wear lions on my head,
Roaring in my hair, that he might notice me.
And so I will proudly wear lions on my head,
Roaring in my hair, that he might notice me.
The hopeful mood is ruined at the Opening Feast, when Dolly is revealed as the new defense teacher, and, uninvited, gives a long speech, mostly incomprehensible, which reveals her political stance to anyone who cares to listen:
MOTHERHOOD (Dolly's Speech)
DOLLY:
I stand for motherhood, the Ministry, and a hot lunch for orphans.
Everyone clap, the Headmaster's golden boy is passing.
Did you see him when he won the tournament, babbling of the Dark Lord's rise?
If you hear them say they work against Lord Voldemort,
Remember it's lies, lies, lies!
I stand for motherhood, the Ministry, and a hot lunch for orphans.
Do you believe that there's a tear-stained phoenix passing?
Did you see him with the sword of Gryffindor, babbling of the Dark Lord's rise?
If you hear them say Lord Voldemort is back in force,
Remember it's lies, lies, lies!
I stand for--
Parseltongue, remember the Parseltongue.
I regret that I can't do more for the Ministry--
In the words of Albus: "We've reached a parting of the ways."
"Yes, I helped the murderer escape."
O, Gilderoy Lockhart! Glory, glory, and more glory!
Remember it's lies, lies . . .
(Spoken)It ended fourteen years ago!
Lies, lies, lies . . .
"The one against whom I intend to work". . . Lies, lies . . .
"The truth is generally preferable to lies" . . .
Lies, lies, lies.
Despite her best efforts to not teach the students anything that could be useful, however, the students decide to learn combat magic on their own. They form a secret club they call Dumbledore's Army, because that's what the Minister is afraid they will become, and they elect Harry Potter to teach them
DEFENSE
HARRY: (spoken) Just give me five minutes of your time, Mr. MacMillan, and I'll have you duelling with the Dark Lord.
Put your hand on your wand, and stand with your wand hand toward your opponent's . . .
And one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three . . .
Take the student whose wand you face, hold on to yours tight and brace, and one two three one two three one two three . . .
LUNA: Wow, I'm duelling!
HARRY: Say a curse and say a curse, try hexing off his hair. Can't you be a little less frenetic?
COLIN: Don't you think my wandwork has a polish and a flair?
HARRY: Er, the word I think I'd use is "athletic".
NEVILLE: Well, my heart is about to burst. My head is about to pop, and now that I'm duelling who cares if I ever stop!
(spoken) Look, everybody. I, Neville Longbottom, Duffer, am duelling!
HARRY: (spoken) You're next, Mr. Smith.
Flick and swish and then swish and flick,
ZACHARIAS: It's a very simple trick.
COLIN (spoken) Look, he's duelling.
HARRY: You could learn Patronus if you worked a week or so, or Convitus used for dragon taming.
NEVILLE: I might join the Aurors like my parents long ago.
HARRY: Whatever you do, for God's sake start aiming.
EVERYONE: For my heart is about to burst, my head is about to pop,
And now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
CHO CHANG: When there's someone you hardly know, but wish you were closer to,
Remember that he can be near to you while you're duelling.
Though you've only just said "hello", he's suddenly someone who
Can make all your daydreams appear to you while you're duelling.
Let the magic tie a knot. Curse through all your classes.
Boys look almost twice as hot when they're wearing glasses!
HARRY: As around and around you go, your spirits will hit the top, and
Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
ALL: Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
Now that we're duelling who cares if we ever stop!
Meanwhile, Sirius Black has been stuck in Grimmauld Place, getting bored and lonely and depressed. When Harry calls him to report that the scar Voldemort gave him has been hurting, it becomes apparent that Sirius is probably doomed. He sings that he wants to get out and taste excitment at least once more
BEFORE THE BIG FIGHT WHERE I DIE (Sirius' Soliloquy)
SIRIUS: Before the big fight where I die,
I wanna go and taste Saturday's high life.
Before the big fight where I die,
I wanna get some life back into my life.
I'm ready to move out in front.
I've had enough of just passing by life.
With the rest of them, with the best of them, I can hold my head up high!
For I've got a goal again, I've got a drive again,
I wanna feel my heart coming alive again,
Before the big fight where I die.
Look at the Order re-formed, listen and hear all those tough fighters crowing.
Look at the Order re-formed. Pardon me if my old spirit is showing.
All of my dear friends long gone wouldn't be sitting here while they're going.
When the jinxes fly, and the hexes hit, and the curses light the sky,
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me an Auror's cloak, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
ANCESTRAL BLACK FAMILY PORTRAITS: Before the big fight where he dies, he's gonna join those vile blood traitors crowing.
Look at the Order back there. Pardon us if our old bile is showing.
All of those mudbloods he likes leaving him sitting here while they're going.
SIRIUS: When the jinxes fly, and the hexes hit, and the curses light the sky,
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me an Auror's cloak, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
I'm gonna crack the roof, I'm gonna carry on,
Give me a pointy hat, give me a trusty wand,
Before the big fight where I die.
End Act One
To be continued . . .