GUYS. I wanted you to be the first to know. I’ve fallen in love.

Their name is Final Fantasy XV.

I’m? In a?? Video game fandom??????? IT IS SUPER WEIRD. I DON’T EVEN OWN A PS4. I CANNOT INTERACT WITH THIS CANON THE WAY IT’S MEANT TO BE DONE. I AM REDUCED TO YOUTUBE PLAYTHROUGHS AND VERY PASSIONATE TEXTING WITH MY FRIEND WHILE HE PLAYS.

Let me explain.

So I am very aware I’ve barely posted recently -- about three times a month since March, and this last month it FEELS like I’ve barely posted because it’s almost all been about wider-world stuff. (And even then, I’ve been so quiet given what’s happening? Because British politics right now is BANANAS.)

This is mostly because I’ve been working a LOT, and playing pretty hard too. I really want to do a catch-up post on all the RL things, and also about a bunch of the fannish things I’ve been doing (not so much on the writing of fic, sadly -- it’s been pathetic) and etc. Buuut right now I need to tell you about Final Fantasy XV because it is EATING MY HEAD.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotionally compromised over a fandom. I cried down the phone to son_of_darkness (aka bestchocobro/sodsta) for the better part of an hour over the ending, and was only comforted when we made kinkfic plans.

It’s really very much all son_of_darkness’s fault.

( so whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat at least I had the strength to fight )

It’s so great. Like, it’s incredibly awesome as a canon, and it kinda fits my fic interests and skills (dark kinky porn, romantic kinky porn, and punny banter) to a T. Plus I love reading hurt/comfort, and I’ve barely written it ever but I just signed up for a hc_bingo card because I do wanna write more h/c and this canon is RIDICULOUSLY good for it.

And these CHARACTERS. I love them ridiculously much. There’s this enormous muscled bro who’s so kind and connects with people, and lashes out against his prince when their friend is seriously hurt, and his whole family legacy is shielding the king but it’s impossible. And exasperated, sarcastic, fond, kind Iggy, who cooks for them and is the prince’s adviser and strategist and mum friend, and so hardcore and so practical and so lovely. (He reminds me of Giles in a lot of ways, including the sudden darkness of what he’s willing to do to protect his warrior.) Both these guys are so young and trying to take care of their prince, who’s even younger. Prompto, the best friend, he’s funny and makes awful puns and takes selfies with the daemons they fight; he’s the prince’s only friend from outside the courtly world and he gets crushes on all the girls and he’s screamingly vulnerable. His parents were never home, he was a fat (and self-hating) & friendless kid, he worries that he’s worthless and is desperate to earn his place. That his origins with the enemy nation will be discovered and his friends will reject him. And then the villain tricks his best friend into pushing him off a moving train.

SPEAKING OF. OMG, the main character, Noct. He’s a sarcastic little bitch, and he sleeps all the time, and he hates vegetables despite Iggy’s best efforts, and he has back and leg pain from a daemon attack as a kid, and he had this miserable lonely childhood even as the other kids were desperate to glom onto a prince. And he yearns to play games at the arcade and eat junk food and be a normal kid but he never whines about it. He’s so scared that he won’t be enough, that he won’t be heroic or brave enough to do his duty, but he is, of course he is, he doesn’t flinch. *cries forever*

I LOVE THEM. I want to write h/c for their pain and dark porn for their encounters with the amazing, amazing villain. He’s super manipulative and clever and totally wins through his defeat, and he likes emotionally torturing the heroes and touching their faces and being super-sleazy. He’s a delight.

I have fallen HARD for a new fandom, guys. Not leaving any of my old ones, of course, but WOW.



ASK ME ABOUT IT IN COMMENTS IF YOU LIKE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER RN

Placeholder. Nothing to see here yet.

I will start with my usual Wednesday reads, because there is not much to say here as I haven't finished anything since last Wednesday. Well, I started a couple of ebooks I got via Instafreebie, but neither of them held my interest:

What I recently abandoned:

Assassin Princess by Laura Greenwood - really a short story, but I still didn't get to the halfway point. Mispunctuated dialogue and a sloppy structure, not very interesting.

The Priestess and the Dragon by Nicolette Andrews - An interesting setup in an ancient-Japan-ish fantasy world, but the main character, Suzume, felt like the Mary Sue that has everything bad happen to her before she turns out to be the Chosen One and Saves the World, and the writing, while technically fine, just feels too romance-y, if that makes any sense, for my tastes. I was not surprised to see in a Goodreads comment that this book was originally posted on Wattpad.

What I'm currently reading:

Text, fiction: Assassin's Fate by Robin Hobb, the third book in the Fitz and the Fool series and the final book in the Realms of the Elderlings series. I am approximately halfway through. Yes, I was currently reading this last week, too, but it's a brick, and also, it's really very meaty, with a lot to think about as I read.

Audio, fiction: Beast by Donna Jo Napoli. I am not sure whether I want to finish - I'm about 1/3 through - but I gotta say, this is the first YA book I've ever encountered with canon bestiality. o.O

Text, nonfiction: Dungeons and Dreamers: A story of how computer games created a global community by Brad King and John Borland. This is what I settled on to read on my phone during my recent backpacking trip, and it's surprisingly interesting! The thing is, I was a D&D player; I played Advent, and Zork, and hung out in a MUD with friends. I remember Spacewar, and Sierra On-Line games. So reading this gives me the same vague nostalgic warm fuzzies that I got from watching Halt and Catch Fire, in that the outlines of the story are familiar to me but the details are all new and fascinating.

What I'm reading next:

I released my hold on Thick as Thieves, and anyway, it's going to be a while before I am done with the things I'm currently reading! But this week's Sync audiobook (until the end of the day!) is Terry Pratchett's early short story collection The Witch's Vacuum Cleaner and other stories, so if I abandon Beast I might switch to that.

What I've recently written:

Night on Fic Mountain authors and artists have been revealed, so now I can point to what I wrote:

The Student Librarian (4819 words) by Isis
Fandom: The Invisible Library - Genevieve Cogman
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Irene (The Invisible Library), Bradamant (The Invisible Library)
Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, Backstory, Caper Fic, slight hint of one-sided Irene/Bradamant feelings
Summary: Irene had been Bradamant's student once, and she knew exactly what it meant. (The Invisible Library, chapter 7)

This is a great world to play in, but it's apparently not a very well-known series, alas. Oh, well.

Instead of one of the many posts that I keep planning to make and then don't find the time for, have a sample of things currently occupying my brain.

- The latest season of Natsume Yuujinchou just ended and it was great and I love this anime so much.
- The only "TV" show I'm currently watching is Critical Role, the new episodes and also the early ones that I've been catching up on. The early ones are fun, the new ones are very exciting. 102: [spoiler spoiler]!!
- I have started calling politicians about stuff. This makes me anxious (but so does politics as a whole, so) and is frustrating but at least I'm trying to do something? A tiny little bit? There was a demo last weekend but I missed it because of terrible time management.
(And that is only local politics, got to start somewhere. International? Holy shit.)
- Our newest flatmate is already moving out again :( She's dropping out of her study program and moving back to Germany. Definitely the right decision for her, but sad for me and DD, we really liked her. Also she baked well.
- Last weekend was my mom's 50th birthday party and LB and I wrote a poem. Writing poems is difficult but kinda fun, and it was well received.
- There are so many recs I want to post. This would probably be easier if I would post them one or two at a time, but from somewhere in SGA fandom I got the idea that rec sets have to be a minimum of three recs, which is annoying. (Maybe I should post a poll asking you guys which recs you would be most interested in. Also, ticky boxes.)
- Other things I watched/read that I haven't yet posted about include the Last Herald of Valdemar series, Zootopia, Disney's Hercules, Lilo&Stitch; and of course the latest few D&D sessions (we'll go to the world disc's underside to blow up the evil gods' vaults next session, also I now have an undead minion.)
- Flower went to Vegas, and then weird trades happened and people got very pissed off about it, and to sum up sports fandom is kind of silly.
- I'm not always happy with how many things I manage to do, but despite the heat I've gone running again twice in the past week (at midnight), at least that's good. I've also gone swimming a few times, every time I visit my parents, which is always great.
- I'm barely writing anything right now and not happy with it, so I signed up for h/c bingo in the hopes of finding some inspiration. I have some ideas, now I just need to find the motivation to actually sit down and write them.
- Overall I feel mostly good :)

Extended versions of some of these probably to come later. Maybe. (Better tell me if you're interested in anything in particular.)
Ten minutes after I post this I will think of five things I forgot to add, but hopefully I will have already gone to bed then so I won't get little sleep again. Right now I feel like rambling about anything and everything, definitely time for sleep.

Today is mild, hazy, and blustery.  Earlier I went out shooting pictures.

Doug and I had a nice long session in the ritual meadow, cutting live brush and dead branches.  \o/  We found an empty bird nest in one bush (I checked that it was empty before we cut the bush).

EDIT 6/28/17: Round 2, I cut more brush.

EDIT 6/28/17: Round 3, I picked up sticks and picked a few mulberries.  Didn't even get a handful, but it's enough to add a bit of flavor to mixed berries.

Okay so I spent a few days in June reading a bunch of Courtney Milan. Apparently she's a "betcha can't eat read just one" kind of author for me. I read ten. Most were rereads, which I don't have anything new to say about, but this time I did get around to reading a few books of hers that I hadn't read in November when I last did this. Namely: the Carhart series, the first romances that Courtney Milan ever published! This was back when she was being conventionally published by Harlequin instead of being a self-published author.

This Wicked Gift, by Courtney Milan (Carhart #0.5)

( cut for discussion of rape )

Proof By Seduction, by Courtney Milan (Carhart #1)

And so I continue with the Carhart series despite the extremely inauspicious beginnings. This one, well, at least it didn't have a rapist main character? I still didn't love it though. I dunno, I didn't write down my thoughts soon enough after having read it so I don't remember all the reasons. But it doesn't have the things I like about later Courtney Milan (such as strong female friendships and interesting families) and also doesn't have a romance that I enjoyed reading about. And the leading man was pretty uninteresting to me, and the leading woman kept making baffling life choices.


Trial By Desire, by Courtney Milan (Carhart #2)

The Carhart series continues to improve! This one was actually mostly enjoyable. I liked the leading woman's mission in life, and I enjoyed the nature of the romance being one of having to develop a relationship between a husband and wife who don't really know each other and have been on different continents for years. But although this is closer to the Courtney Milan I know and love, this book just didn't get me excited the way her later books do.

Dear RarePairFest writer,

thank you so much for writing a story for me! I'll be absolutely thrilled about anything you can create about the relationships I requested, and everything important is in the requests themselves, but if you'd like some additional info/ideas/thoughts, here's some of it:

General Preferences

( Fic Likes & Dislikes )

I hope this is useful for telling you about the kinds of things I like to read. :)

Now for the fandoms and ships I requested, in no particular order:

Requests

( Doctor Who - Twelve/Jack/Missy, Jack/Missy )

( Grimm - Nick/Renard/Juliette, Nick/Renard, Renard/Juliette )

( Legend of the Seeker - Cara/Darken Rahl )

( Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - Sarah Connor/Catherine Weaver )

I tried a new food, mushroom pate that was in a tin with a ring pull and a lid.
I don't know what it tastes like. I don't mean I can't compare it, I literally mean I couldn't tell if it had a taste. Dry toast would have had a different texture but I don't know what else it did.
So that was the opposite of exciting.

I need a new plan
also to figure out where humans even social these days
also to remember to reply to comments because y'all can't tell I read them else.

like, online social is quieter than it used to be in most places I've been,
tumblr is an echo chamber made of little that is new and yet I can't follow more without spending all day on there sifting for new to me parts,
and it's a weird noisy quiet like looking for conversations in a big pub

but mostly rl social is just baffling, since I can't find things to join in with, and have no idea how humans social in this day and age.


do they just rely on having friends by now?
because that doesn't work when people go away.


I could do half a dozen different things on Thursday if I had a teleport and a time turner. so i can just do dancing. which has the benefit of having actual plural people in it, unlike the science fiction group.


i need a new plan that doesn't all happen on thursdays.

Note: link leads to facebook.


Lindy Mechefske posts

Thrilled to be working with Ruth Wood on an anthology of transgender stories. We are interested in stories from anyone under the transgender umbrella as well as stories from the people close to them. We are looking for stories from people anywhere in the world so please share this widely. Submission details below.
PLEASE SHARE WIDELY! ( Read more... )

I'm having less allergy trouble today, but I slept very, very badly last night. I kept choking on post nasal drip, and my sinuses ached pretty horribly. I hope that Scott slept better than I did, but I don't know for sure. I didn't even try the c-PAP. I'm hoping that I can get back to that tonight.

I have to take Cordelia out to Domino Farms for a doctor's appointment. That means taking a cab, and given construction, I'm wondering if I ought to allow more time for the trip. Then again, maybe the cabbie will be sensible and get around that bit by taking 14 to 23 to Plymouth Rd instead of Plymouth Rd straight through. It wouldn't normally be faster, but right now, I think it is, especially in the middle of the day when the highway isn't backed up.

Scott will likely be able to pick us up after the appointment. He has PT at 5:00, so he's not likely to work late.

The appointment is the only thing we absolutely have to do today. We might have people over this evening for either Scott's Firefly game or board games, but I'm worried that I won't be up to it. I'm not sure if Scott would want to run without me. I feel bad because it's been a while since we got together, but I really do feel like crap.

I very much want to do some writing. I posted my Not Prime Time story yesterday, but I have something else, a treat for a different exchange, almost done. I also need to start two other stories for something else entirely.

Scott took Cordelia to Traverwood yesterday to renew her library card. The timing was bad, so the road he'd normally take was backed up for about three blocks from the four way stop sign at the bottom of the hill. He tried another route only to discover that that road doesn't currently go through, due to construction. Cordelia knew that but didn't understand what he was trying to do, so they got all the way out there and then had to come all the way back. I had wondered why I had time to shower and then sit around for another half an hour while they were gone, and that all explains it.

Scott is going to be working Saturday. His company wants full production then in the hope that they'll be able to give everyone Sunday through Tuesday off. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because three days would be really, really nice. Also, given that he took Monday off this week, Saturday only makes a five day work week for him as opposed to a six day.

Okay, half an hour to come up with food for me and Cordelia and get everything ready to go...

I got three hours of sleep and I keep coughing myself awake. Ugh. I hate everything.

What I Just Finished Reading

Elizabeth Letts, The Eighty-Dollar Champion: Snowman, the Horse that Inspired a Nation: The reviews of this are split between "wow, this is poorly-written" and "OMG HORSIE." I have to say it is indeed very poorly written, but the story is compelling -- I mean, horse rescued from the slaughterhouse, turning out to be a champion jumper? It was pretty good. Also I learned that the US Army had horse breeding programs up through WWII even though horses were much less useful than they'd hoped.

What I'm Reading Now

Comics Wednesday!

( Black Panther #15, Defenders #2, Infamous Iron Man #9, Mighty Captain Marvel #6, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur #20, Secret Empire #5, X-Men Blue #6 )

What I'm Reading Next

I have no idea.

I was looking through my journal for one of our backpacking trips last year, and realized that I somehow never got around to posting photos/stories about quite a few of our great excursions. I'm determined not to repeat this error, in part because it's so dang fun re-reading my past adventures, so even though our backpacking trip this weekend was just a short overnight you get to read about it and see a ridiculous number of photos. ;-)



( I mean, if you want to. But don't you want to? )

23 photos [these and more] at Flickr, none of the rambling

House inspection yesterday. Mostly good? A few small problem areas? Like, it's either "this is a $10 kit you can get a Home Depot and fix yourself" or it's "you're going to want a contractor to take a look at this and confirm the foundations aren't collapsing" and nothing inbetween. >_<

So yeah, I'm stressed beyond belief and praying that the crack lines in the exterior foundation are, in fact, like the inspector guessed, old damage from improper drainage that has since been fixed and that it's just a matter of "caulk it, patch it, done". Please please please let that be the case, because omg I don't want to have to start looking again and we really love this house. *cries*

Also, the deck DOES need to be jacked up and new supports with proper cement feet put under it, but that's frankly minor in the "can be taken care of later" way, imo. We can just not use the deck in the meantime.

Didn't get my license and car plates switched over because the inspection took a long time and I was very done and dead by the end of it. Didn't have it in me to go sit in the DMV for hours. I'll go on Friday.

And then I went home and laid on the bed with the cuddly cats and played clicky games and read because my head hurt. My head hurts even more today. Spring can stop springing with all it's damned pollen count, now, and the shifting weather pressure. My sinuses are on fire and my head is going to explode. DNW.

Recently read: Too like the lightning by Ada Palmer. I borrowed jack's copy to read this for the Hugos. It's thinky and original, but also rather unpleasant.

( detailed review )

Currently reading: All the birds in the sky by Charlie Jane Anders. Partly because it's Hugo nominated and partly cos several of my friends were enthusiastic about it. I'm a bit more than halfway through and finding it very readable and enjoyable. Patricia and Laurence are really well drawn as outcast characters and their interaction is great. It feels very Zeitgeisty, very carefully calculated to appeal to the current generation of geeks. The style is sort of magic realist, in that a bunch of completely weird fantasy-ish things happen and nobody much remarks on them. I find that sort of approach to magic a bit difficult to get on with, because it appears completely arbitrary what is possible and what isn't, so the plot seems a bit shapeless.

Up next: I'm a bit minded to pick up Dzur by Steven Brust, because I was enjoying the series but very slowly, and it's been really quite a few years since I made progress with it.

1. This morning and early afternoon was ridiculously super hectic, but thankfully things died down and I was able to get out of work at a reasonable time.

2. Some people at work got me a birthday cake today, which was totally unexpected and a nice surprise. :)

3. Look at these Molly paws!