Oh, you have all my sympathies, not least because we're doing the same thing (in very, very slow motion) ourselves right now.

And I have absolutely been doing the "oh crap I am such a failure I'm not getting anything done" routine myself, even though my ticked-off to-do lists tell me I'm full of crap. I think it's because I'm really thinking "I'm not fixing the thing I really want to fix, which is this person who's dying; wow, I fail."

Which...well, yeah, we all fail at that.