Why do they still let me teach Sunday school?

[melannen]

Things I said to Mom's Sunday school class while last-minute substituting as teacher today:

1. So Jesus got, like, really pissed, and he totally trashed the whole place, dude. It was radical.

2. Why can't God be a girl if He wants to be? He can do anything; who says She's never a girl? (this got a cheer from the girls in the class, p.s.)

3. A fast overview of every Judas-apologia fanfic ever written for the Easter story, from the Acts of Pilate to the Gospel of Pilate, with a long digression about how by Easter the disciples were spending most of their time bickering like siblings who had been trapped in a car for too long.

Things I almost said, but stopped myself at the last minute:

1. Jesus hates teabaggers! (I didn't actually say that but I laid the groundwork. And I want a bumpers sticker now that says "God Hates Teabaggers: Matthew 22:21") I felt unexpectedly justified when Pastor decided to preach his sermon about how the Democrats in Congress are like Christ Triumphant riding into Jerusalem (let us strew roses at their feet) and the Republicans are just like the Pharisees and Sadduccees. :P

2. The reason they didn't listen was because it was women who saw them, because nobody ever listens to women, but remember that Christ spoke to girls first, before he spoke to the men; he believes we're the ones worth talking to first. (I almost said this but we were running out of time and I figured "God's a chick" was enough Christian radical feminism to start them with.)

3. Aslan is a fraud and Narnia sucks. (Didn't actually mention Lewis, but talked about *why* Aslan is a fraud. Also, didn't say "Jesus is more like a Time Lord than a Highlander," or compare "He will knock four times" to "before the cock crows thrice." Be proud of me.)


Let that stand as your warning: as today was Palm Sunday, and it's my very favorite Christian holiday, I plan to talk about Christianity, and specifically Holy Week and Easter, a lot for the next week. It will be in rather the same sort of tone as the above. If you'd rather not be exposed, filter or unsubscribe me; I won't be offended. It will be back to business-as-random-usual come Monday after next.

Comments

[isis]

Actually I would rather you posted this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME.

Look! I even have a special icon for commenting to posts about religion!

[amadi]

This has me smiling. If I'd had a Sunday School teacher like you, I might not be a Jew now.

O.O

[elke_tanzer]

Wow. My experiences with Christian Sunday School and sermons were *nothing* like this. (I'm kind of a solitary eclectic pagan now.) Your posts on religion are very interesting to me.

[jumpuphigh]

Awesome. Bring it on. I can't wait.

[stellar_dust]

Awesome. Were Certain People displeased with #2, or is everyone on pretty much the same page re: health care?

[majoline]

You are awesome! Also: "Jesus is more like a Time Lord than a Highlander," is now my personal canon.

We need this in fic. For serious.

[syntheid]

Aww, if I'd had a Sunday school teacher like you, I might have actually payed attention to it.

[loligo]

I was a Sunday school teacher today, too -- my class watched episode 44 of Fullmetal Alchemist *g*.

(It's the junior high class. We've been working on this for almost a year now, and we've had some awesome discussions about various ethical issues and what the Christian perspectives on them are. I think for our next project, though, we might try something that was written in closer dialog with Christian ideas, like maybe Lord of the Rings, just to make it easier for me to pull in more Biblical material.)

[sarken]

That is a much more appealing version of Christianity than the one Catholic school taught me.

[theletterfour]

I am really happy with this post, and also the fact that you're probably going to be posting a bunch during Holy Week. I'm stuck in a theatre getting ready for a festival all week, so your posts might just end up being my Holy Week fix. :P

Although I'm curious re: your opinions on Aslan. Of course, the last time I read the Narnia books was when I was like... 12, and when I was 12, my opinions on a lot of things were not what my opinions are today...

[mllesays]

I am all for many more posts like this!

I really like the god as she idea as well. One of the things that has kept me from church for a long time is always relating god solely to the masculine.

[elspethdixon]

Some year, I want someone in fandom to do an anti-Imperialism post for Palm Sunday -- the Passion story, at some level, is a story about the terrible things people do to themselves and one another to survive under occupation. But I've never heard a sermon addressing that aspect of it.

I felt unexpectedly justified when Pastor decided to preach his sermon about how the Democrats in Congress are like Christ Triumphant riding into Jerusalem (let us strew roses at their feet) and the Republicans are just like the Pharisees and Sadduccees. :P

Has there been any backlash over this? I mean, it's kind of true and awesome, but the last time a priest gave a sermon that was overtly political/partisan at my church, half the congregation complained to our regular priest (the sermon-giver was a visiting priest) and it was a huge scandal. People were incredibly offended that visiting guy had tried to use the pulpit to put forward a political opinion. (to be fair, it was a very polarized opinion about the Iraq war that was expressed in ways that were personally offensive and insulting to numerous parishoners. There were a couple people who walked out).

[zana16]

This makes me wish we had had Sunday School when I was a kid. Quakers are really bad at teaching their young what they believe, mostly because they can't settle on anything coherent amongst themselves. :)

[dejla]

Actually, this will be interesting to read.

[dancesontrains]

:DDD I am excited!

[lady_ganesh]

I APPROVE OF THESE POSTS.