I was not really attempting to address the questions being brought up by gay men in this post, tbh, because I was more interested in, first, correcting the false assumptions that were being made (by both sides, by queer and straight fans) about where most fans actually are coming from in terms of queer experience.

I really question whether that's relevant. "Queer" is not a single experience. Queer women no more insight to my experiences as a queer man than queer cis people have insight to my experience as a trans man.

I understand the pain of erasure, I just feel like it's distracting from the point in discussions about appropriation of queer men's experiences.