Yyyyep. And as we both know, fandom can get pretty horrible, but even when fandom-discourse-in-general was at its worst, I could lurkily read fanfic and still feel more included than in the average non-fandom space.

(And lest anyone think this complaint is specifically about good ol' boys' SF, paranormal romance and non-genre-labelled 'women's fiction' are just as bad, because they tend to be super-into defining 'woman' in a really narrow way and excluding everyone else. At least the good ol' boys' stuff will sometimes just leave me out of it entirely.)