ratcreature: navel-gazing RatCreature (navel-gazing)
RatCreature ([personal profile] ratcreature) wrote in [personal profile] melannen 2015-09-04 01:06 am (UTC)

Whenever I read amnesia stories (which I love), I can't help but thinking that my own memory must be deficient somehow -- even though afaik I'm neurotypical, my brain appears normal on an MRI (I got one once to rule out neurological reasons for fainting issues), and I have no memory issues in any practical sense in everyday life -- simply because I don't really seem to have very vivid episodic memory in general compared to what author's give their fictional characters.

It's not that I don't remember stuff, but if you asked me to describe really vivid memories, I'd have trouble to pick anything specific from a specific day, and I don't recall them with much sensory detail. Like, I still "remember" the day my mother died in that I know the date (not least because it was Christmas), and that my sister called me in the morning to tell me she had died earlier that morning, and that I went to my parents place, but couldn't tell you details, like when exactly my sister called, how I traveled back, what was said, except for stuff that I retold several times because it makes for good anecdotes (like that the people who picked up the body dropped the transport coffin on the way down the stairs...), or that I recalled as fact frequently (like that this was the first time I touched a dead body).

And that is even though I wrote diary entry the day she died and re-read that at least once or twice on an anniversary of her death. In general I only recall specific events when they remained relevant because I recalled them often, or because I have written them down in one of my diary keeping phases, and actually looked at that diary again.

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