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good thing/bad thing
I was going to post that today started with a cat spewing an INCREDIBLE amount all over the living room floor and ended with everybody else at work calling out sick so I had to do four staff members' worth of closing down all by myself, but that's not actually true, because today actually started with me having a long lovely dream about not!Mad Max becoming not!Furiosa's veiled and cloistered harem wife which was actually a pretty good start to the day.
(I know that sounds like it would be a sex dream but my subconscious was WAY more interested in the worldbuilding and backstory required to explain why it made perfect sense that the square-jawed laconic machismo white dude action hero became the demure and cloistered favorite wife of the badass warrior woman who led the desert rebellion, and liked it. We didn't actually get around to the point with the sex. The worldbuilding/plot actually hangs together pretty well as these things go, though.
...also my dream specifically informed me that it had nothing to do with Mad Max, we were watching the new Smokey and the Bandit remake instead. Thanks, brain.)
Anyway, you can assume the day went downhill after that, because it would, wouldn't it. Also the weekend + monday was lost to several things, including me spilling a drink on my laptop and ruining the keyboard such that I don't think I can even replace the keyboard 'cause the socket on the motherboard is borked. (everything else is still fine though? I'm typing this on a USB keyboard, now I have to decide if I want to attempt to fix it or just call it a day and get a new laptop. Or make do for awhile with this computer + external keyboard + ancient eeepc if I really need to be portable.)
Also we went to Beach City for the day Sunday, which was AMAZING, the weather was perfect, the water was perfect, the surf was choppy enough that just standing there up to your knees was an adventure, it wasn't too crowded, I got sunburned all down my back and got something in my eye that inflamed an old injury and left me having to rest with my eyes closed for five minutes out of every twenty all day Monday. (it's better now.) It was great.
Also! I wore my new(est) bathing suit, which was a tankini top and a pair of knee-length marketed-to-men board shorts, and OMG. Why did it take me to this point in my life to realize that board shorts were the platonic ideal bathing suit I'd been looking for all my life and never finding???
Here are some reasons why persons of all genders should just wear board shorts to swim in:
1. THEY HAVE POCKETS
2. They cover your legs all the way to your knees, so you don't have to feel self-conscious about your weird-shaped butt or those red spots on your thighs or the way your pube stubble goes halfway to your knees
3. ....or sitting cross-legged or with your legs apart
4. .....or sitting on hot metal benches in the sun
5. They are designed to look good&natural with hairy unshaven legs. And a t-shirt or tank on top.
6. They have a drawstring! You can tie them so they will 100% definitely not get pulled off in the surf!
7. They are super-loose all the way up so sand doesn't get packed into uncomfortable places in them, it just all falls out when you stand up
8. ...but they are fitted enough that they don't get air trapped in them and float up weird and make it hard to swim like all the long/loose bathing suits I have ever seen sold to women
9. They are made of that thin crinkly nylon that dries super-fast, not the layers of sopping spandex that are in suits sold for women and gets really ridiculous for suits with any amount of fabric in them
10. No having to rub sunscreen up in ridiculous places or get sunburned in spots you will want to sit on later
11. I did not get a wedgie even once!
12. They are sold in men's departments and thus findable in shapes that actually fit human-type people for reasonable prices.
13. You can pretend you are Snoopy wearing his jams and riding his surfboard
14. In conclusion I am never swimming in anything but boardshorts ever again and if you are even vaguely shaped in such a way that you can wear pants designed for men you should all go buy some while the long narrow-leg ones are still trendy and easy-ish to find.
Anyway all of that means there's stuff I should have posted about before and haven't so I will hopefully end up mini-spamming you tonight, apologies in advance!
(I know that sounds like it would be a sex dream but my subconscious was WAY more interested in the worldbuilding and backstory required to explain why it made perfect sense that the square-jawed laconic machismo white dude action hero became the demure and cloistered favorite wife of the badass warrior woman who led the desert rebellion, and liked it. We didn't actually get around to the point with the sex. The worldbuilding/plot actually hangs together pretty well as these things go, though.
...also my dream specifically informed me that it had nothing to do with Mad Max, we were watching the new Smokey and the Bandit remake instead. Thanks, brain.)
Anyway, you can assume the day went downhill after that, because it would, wouldn't it. Also the weekend + monday was lost to several things, including me spilling a drink on my laptop and ruining the keyboard such that I don't think I can even replace the keyboard 'cause the socket on the motherboard is borked. (everything else is still fine though? I'm typing this on a USB keyboard, now I have to decide if I want to attempt to fix it or just call it a day and get a new laptop. Or make do for awhile with this computer + external keyboard + ancient eeepc if I really need to be portable.)
Also we went to Beach City for the day Sunday, which was AMAZING, the weather was perfect, the water was perfect, the surf was choppy enough that just standing there up to your knees was an adventure, it wasn't too crowded, I got sunburned all down my back and got something in my eye that inflamed an old injury and left me having to rest with my eyes closed for five minutes out of every twenty all day Monday. (it's better now.) It was great.
Also! I wore my new(est) bathing suit, which was a tankini top and a pair of knee-length marketed-to-men board shorts, and OMG. Why did it take me to this point in my life to realize that board shorts were the platonic ideal bathing suit I'd been looking for all my life and never finding???
Here are some reasons why persons of all genders should just wear board shorts to swim in:
1. THEY HAVE POCKETS
2. They cover your legs all the way to your knees, so you don't have to feel self-conscious about your weird-shaped butt or those red spots on your thighs or the way your pube stubble goes halfway to your knees
3. ....or sitting cross-legged or with your legs apart
4. .....or sitting on hot metal benches in the sun
5. They are designed to look good&natural with hairy unshaven legs. And a t-shirt or tank on top.
6. They have a drawstring! You can tie them so they will 100% definitely not get pulled off in the surf!
7. They are super-loose all the way up so sand doesn't get packed into uncomfortable places in them, it just all falls out when you stand up
8. ...but they are fitted enough that they don't get air trapped in them and float up weird and make it hard to swim like all the long/loose bathing suits I have ever seen sold to women
9. They are made of that thin crinkly nylon that dries super-fast, not the layers of sopping spandex that are in suits sold for women and gets really ridiculous for suits with any amount of fabric in them
10. No having to rub sunscreen up in ridiculous places or get sunburned in spots you will want to sit on later
11. I did not get a wedgie even once!
12. They are sold in men's departments and thus findable in shapes that actually fit human-type people for reasonable prices.
13. You can pretend you are Snoopy wearing his jams and riding his surfboard
14. In conclusion I am never swimming in anything but boardshorts ever again and if you are even vaguely shaped in such a way that you can wear pants designed for men you should all go buy some while the long narrow-leg ones are still trendy and easy-ish to find.
Anyway all of that means there's stuff I should have posted about before and haven't so I will hopefully end up mini-spamming you tonight, apologies in advance!