Entries tagged with living:i'm a grownup now

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Reading
> Network
> Tags
> Memories
> Profile
> my jf account

Links
interrobang studios
melannen@journalfen
melannen@deviantart
melannen@librarything
network
February 14th, 2011 11:27 pm - 21000 words of new fiction so far; seriously self?
Well, if everybody else is doing the "titles of your works in progress" meme:

WIPS )

If you want to know more about any of those, ask and I will babble about them!

But! That is not all! Okay, there are a bunch of wips that have been put in the non-recent folders even though I do still plan to finish them. Not listing them all here, because that just gets depressing. And there are some other fics which exist only on various anon memes because I commentboxed them.

And then there is all the stuff that goes in my commonplace books. I got in the habit of carrying a notebook in which to write things when I was in high school - yes, we were supposed to have binders and careful dividing up by subjects and class and whatever, I just had a notebook. In which I wrote things. In whatever order. After I left school and stopped carrying bookbag-sized bags, I switched to carrying smaller notebooks, but I still generally have a notebook or two which just contains whatever I feel requires writing down at the moment - everything from a few thousand words of fiction to a bit of long division. I started privately calling them "commonplace books" after I learned that my grandmother kept one - because they certainly aren't organized enough to be anything else.

Anyway, I have just about filled up the one I've been using recently, so I thought it might be fun to list out the contents in my more journal-y journal, for my own reference if nothing else! So here is the page-by-page contents of one of my paper notebooks, summarized but unfiltered, for y'all:

100 pages! Pages of pure brainstuff! )

...and fin. I must have only torn one page out of that whole notebook! It is apparently still 1/5 blank pages, but considering how scattered they are, yep, I think it's retirement time. (I do save these though! For, like, future historians. Or something.)

And yes, this system of note-taking works best for me. It's organized by when it happened, and what else was going on at the same time, and by tactile sense, and that really does seem to make it easier for me to find things than any more 'rational' system. ...as long as I remember that I wrote it down. And which notebook I wrote it down in.

(8 comments | Reply)


April 6th, 2010 01:09 am
So, you will have noticed that there was none of the planned posting this week.

This is (in large part, though not entirely) due to the fact that I have spent much of the past week watching my grandfather dying. It's not really unexpected - he is very old and has well outlived his own expectations; and he's been losing functionality at an increasing rate for the past year. He's been ready to go, and while I don't think anyone can ever be ready for a loved one to go, we've all known it was coming, sooner rather than later. But it is still far from easy to watch it happen, and watch what it's doing to everyone else in the family, and if I am being even flakier than usual for awhile, this is probably why. (And yes, it did take me most of a week to get to the point where I could say, yes, this is actually a real reason to be getting less done, it is not just that I fail as a person.)

It seems like half my reading list is going through something similar at the moment. It is hard, and I have been sending good thoughts your way even when I haven't been writing any; I am no better at dealing with the expected courtesies and emotions and sympathies when it's me who's grieved than when it's someone else, so I would just as soon take good wishes as read, and move on.


I'm leaving comments open, though, because there are a couple related things I wanted to say, since I seem to have a little bit of an audience here, I might as well use it. One of them is, thank God for advance directives (also known as living wills.) Pop-pop having one is the difference between him living on for maybe futile years while under, basically, torture, and him dying comfortably and naturally the way he wanted to.

So, PSA: Look up your goverment's rules on Advance Directives, and get one for yourself, and talk to your loved ones about getting them, too. Even if you don't have the resources to do the legal paperwork, figure out who your next-of-kin/power-of-attorney would be in that situation, and at least talk to them informally about what you would want if you could no longer make your own end-of-life medical decisions, or put a letter in with your other important paperwork. Just knowing whether or not something is wanted can make so much difference.

(And on a related note, thank God for socialized medicine, even the stunted and handcuffed system we have in the US. If we didn't have the assurance that Medicare/Medicaid would cover everything? If we'd been jumping through hoops for a private insurance plan that many of the providers weren't familiar with? If we hadn't been able to put him in a wonderful and well-funded hospice without worrying about where the money was coming from? if we hadn't already jumped through all the stupid hoops to make sure medicare *would* pay when my grandmother was dying - it would all suck so much more. )

(24 comments | Reply)


October 31st, 2009 11:07 pm - look, I posted.
I have been told I need to update already so that people know I am still here.

Let's see: what have I been doing since my last update?

Messing around on the internet; fighting off huge internet-induced bouts of self-loathing; watching old episodes of Top Gear; applying for jobs; fighting off job-search-induced bouts of self-loathing; reading Top Gear fanfic; watching the news and falling into bouts of loathing the entire world; working on interrobang studios stuff with RL friends; horrifing RL friends by telling them that Top Gear fandom is awesome because instead of genderswap slashfic where somebody is turned into a girl because it's okay to have sex with girls, it has turned-into-a-car slashfic because it's totally okay to have sex with cars, obv.; playing the terribly addictive flash game that RL friends introduced me to in order to distract me from talking about having sex with cars; helping Mom with her volunteer & church work; helping former roommates move & attempting to deal with post-move out issues; falling into massive bouts of self-loathing RE:inability to actually be a grown-up; listening to NPR because if I can't be watching Top Gear or HIGNFY I can at least be listening to Car Talk & This Just In; continuing to go through my massive collection of STUFF in an attempt to manage it; fighting off lack-of-money induced fits of self-loathing; and writing Top Gear/Doctor Who crossover fanfic.

Mostly, I haven't been posting because things I did in one of the last massive anti-oppression discussions have left me unable to say *anything* fandom-related without becoming despairingly convinced that what I am saying is full of fail and privilege and will hurt people. (This is my problem, not anyone else's, but just fyi I am probably going to have to work through a lot of crap on my own part for awhile before I feel comfortable speaking in *any* kind of meta discussion whatsoever, which, frankly, sucks, because I love meta. Also, it isn't helping that the fandom I kind of became obsessed with in the meantime is basically the story of three middle-aged rich white men being as rich, white and male as possible on camera.) (Edited to removed language-of-privilege, WHY IS THIS SO HARD.)

ANYWAY.

I have been around, although reading & commenting a lot more sporadically than I had been, in an attempt to manage the self-loathing.

I have also done the last four Spink comics *all by myself* while the main studio had no internet, about which I am quite proud! And I did the Friday's Trigger Star strip all by myself! And posted about the first quarter of this years's book reviews on librarything, though I still have a bunch of read-this-year books waiting to be reviewed.

And I had signed up to do a fanmix for [community profile] polybigbang, and ended up claiming the very first fic on the claims list, [livejournal.com profile] tania_sings's amazing, epic, gloriously kinky story in which Ariel the Sprite sleeps with basically every other character in Shakespeare, Perfection, which was just an utter delight to mix for & illustrate. I did get the mix & art done & submitted in time, & my author loved the mix about as much as I loved her story, despite me being so flaky to workwith lately! So yay! The mix, which contains only songs that are vaguely, by some definition, in-period for Shakespeare, by which I mean lots of bawdy ballads via [livejournal.com profile] dreamsquirrel and [livejournal.com profile] niquerio, is at Ariel Sings Stormy Weather (.zip file) and here is the Ariel cover art. I was playing with using vectors/paths for the cover art, which I haven't done seriously in about ten years, and was impressed with how well it came out. (And listened to about thirty times as much new music as I actually put on the mix, which means I actually have a hope of being able to navigate my current mp3 collection now, yay!)

What I did *not* do, see re:self-loathing above, is finish the second disc of the mix and make a proper mix post with tracklistings & explanatory notes like I said I would, because the notes started growing in length exponentially as I started looking for actual attested dates for the period music. I am still hoping to finish that post very soon, but I have realized that if I wait to post until I've finished that, it would be quite easy to keep not posting for a very long time.

Reading [community profile] polybigbang and [livejournal.com profile] rpf_big_bang have been great fun, too, (and partly responsible for my giving in and reading Top Gear slash, because I think there is more un-flocked Top Gear stuff there than anywhere else on the net up until now) and I am full of general reccingness for them.

I am probably not doing nano this year - I know, first year since way back before I was even in fandom, but it's beginning to seem a bit silly to keep signing up and writing less than 12,000 words - unless of course the Top Gear/Doctor Who crossover of doom keeps writing itself as fast as it has been. <_< I am doing yuletide, though. There's only been one year in history where the self-loathing was strong enough to keep me away from yuletide.

Current Music:: i am tying this entry while at a party, go me!

(11 comments | Reply)


November 9th, 2008 08:24 pm
MÁRGARÉT, áre you gríeving	
Over Goldengrove unleaving?	
Leáves, líke the things of man, you	
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?	
Áh! ás the heart grows older	     
It will come to such sights colder	
By and by, nor spare a sigh	
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;	
And yet you wíll weep and know why.	
Now no matter, child, the name:	   
Sórrow’s spríngs áre the same.	
Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed	
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:	
It ís the blight man was born for,	
It is Margaret you mourn for.


Guess what I spent all weekend doing! Ah, the joys of being a grown-up with your own place.

(Reply)


October 1st, 2008 01:46 pm
I'm a grown-up and I pay for my own groceries, and that means that if I want to mix up a bowl of powdered sugar and peanut butter 'till it's the consistency of mud brick, and then eat it with a spoon, I can, right?

(..hey, there's *no* candy in this house, and my roommates won't let me bake. Except what I just mixed up. Granted I could have walked down the street and bought some candy, but a) broke and b) I went from Cake Wrecks to mazapan the other day, and it that time of month, so I'm allowed to cave to random cravings.)

----

Anyway, if someone was, completely hypothetically, thinking about finally installing an IM program, what program would you hypothetically suggest? Bearing in mind that this hypothetical person last tried to install Trillian, and gave up due to FAIL, and that the last time she bothered with IM, she hypothetically had AIM, ICQ, and Y!M accounts, because this was way back when you needed different accounts and programs and they wouldn't talk to each other.

(15 comments | Reply)


September 15th, 2008 09:04 pm
Just came back from a couple hours' shoe shopping. And oh my god.

I just want a pair of shoes that:
a) give ankle support
b) are waterproof
c) do not hurt when I put them on my feet.

Secondary, it would be nice if:
d) they had reasonably plain leather uppers
e) they were neither white nor black
f) they did not have "special moisture-wicking" aka "get soggy fast" powers
g) they do not involve Velcro
h) they have at least a little insulation
i) they cost less than a month's electric bill

These seem like perfectly reasonable things to expect from shoes, yeah? At this point I'd be willing to go for any shoes that give me at least a), one of b) or c), and at least one of the others. I've lucked out the last few times finding waterproof hiking boots that fit on clearance. Not so lucky this time, and I've been looking since June.

Tonight, the only pair of high-tops in womens' sizes in the whole store were Converse. So, what I have learned today is that the reason the Doctor wears Converse is that Converse are not designed for human feet.

Also, according to the little metal foot-measuring things, my feet are around a size six and a half, which explains why shoes that fit my feet are generally somewhere between a seven and a half and a nine and a half wide.

(I could also use some new sandals and some new work-or-interview type shoes, but neither me nor roomate found any of those in whole store that were even halfway to tolerable.

...Women are supposed to like shoe shopping. Huh.)

(8 comments | Reply)


August 13th, 2008 10:05 pm
I walked down to the drawbridge tonight to watch the Wednesday sailboat races come in at sunset, and oh my god, you guys, it is *so* pretty here. With the perfect weather we've been having I've actually been getting out and about like I've claimed I wanted to, and it is so pretty, and there's so many places I can walk to, and yes.

I realized today that if you told my ten-years-ago self that ten years from then I would be living in Annapolis, a ten-minute walk from the Bay, in a tidy little 80-year-old-cottage with morning glory and wild roses, without a car because I don't need one, rooming with four excellent cats, more books than I could read in a lifetime, and two dear, geeky friends who I work on a webcomic with, ten-years-ago me would say "Wait, you mean I get *exactly* the life I want? How'd I manage that?"

(Ten-years-ago-me would be equally unconcerned about the lack of any visible means of support. Perhaps that is something the two of us should work on together.)

(4 comments | Reply)


July 30th, 2008 04:27 pm - Oh, come on!
How is it possible to screw up *rice krispie treats*? (Well, cheerios treats actually, but the principle's the same.) Six year olds can make them!

...I've decided to blame the marshmallows. The marshmallows were too old. I was only making them in the first place in order to use up the elderly marshmallows.

Ah well. I needed an excuse to scrub down the entire kitchen anyway. And I did get a lumpy thing that's a third the size the recipe called for and is closer to the "popcorn ball" end of the scale than the "rice krispie treat" end, but still nummy. And some quite excellent homemade caramel chews.

Moral of the story: next time you need to use up baking sweets, just go right for the caramel and cut out the middle-man. You always end up there *anyway*.

In other news, have been playing with USB turntable and record collection. The first one I ripped was "When Dalliance Was In Flower, Vol. III" by Ed McCurdy, which is a 1959 record of bawdy British folksongs, mostly from the early-18th-century collection "Wit And Mirth or Pills To Purge Melancholy". It's not musically brilliant - standard male singer accompanied by banjo and guitar. And it's both a lot less witty and a lot less bawdy than your typical bawdy folksong of today. But it's very, very early-60s-folk-movement. And some of them are catchy. (Especially "Bees? In my cunny? It's more likely than you think!") Anyway I couldn't find the tracks easily available online anywhere, except at collector's prices on LP, so here, share! (I may attempt to set up a torrent later. But that scares me.)

Zip, cover, & tracklist under cut )

The case had some pretty severe water damage, so I did the best I could with the cover and the text. The record was in good condition, though. I did mess with noise removal and click reduction on some of these tracks, and then decided it didn't really need it. You can tell me if you can tell the difference.

And yes, there was a Dalliance 1-2 and a Son of Dalliance, but they haven't shown up in any of my local thrift shops yet. Sorry.

(7 comments | Reply)


July 4th, 2008 12:15 am - TIEMCAEK!
[journalfen.net profile] stellar_dust made me TIEMCAEK! Because she knows I want it.
(He's off by a month and a half as well as several years, mind you, but I suppose that's to be expected.)
tiemcake

(33 comments | Reply)


May 18th, 2008 01:43 pm
Due to unexpected job-thing, am mmoving several weeks earlier than planned; will be on v.limited internet probably until the end of the month.

(2 comments | Reply)


December 15th, 2007 10:38 pm
Have been in White River Junction for just over 24 hours now. WiFi is more spotty than anticipated, but have already identified a fellow scans_daily alumna! (We bonded over Devo.)

Now, back to suppressed Yuletide panic.

Current Music:: Errol Flynn in Robin Hood
Current Mood::
Current Location:: coolidge hotel, white river junction, VT

(6 comments | Reply)


June 15th, 2007 10:53 pm
I think I'm officially a grown-up now. I went to a baseball game and instead of rooting for it to go into extra innings, I rooted for it to end half-an-inning early so I could go home and get on the internet go to sleep.

Also there were fireworks afterward. And now I really really want to see the Singapore sequence of AWE again. :(

(1 comment | Reply)



> Go to Top
Dreamwidth Studios