Oh definitely - just for me, at this point, "rapey" has absolutely hit the point where it's a sign of the Ugly Weaponized Discourse, not of "I just want to let you know that this is basically Dragonflight except it was written last year so . . . "
(I don't really hold the original Dragonriders' trilogy's shit against it, but if you're writing the same shit NOW and presenting it totally unproblematized, WELP.)
And since the Ugly Weaponized Discourse is 1000% one of the things that I know feeds my anxiety to the point of making me incapable of writing, and I know does it to a bunch of other people I'm very fond of*, and I've got a big chunk of scars from it, at this point the word preeeetty much serves as a Warning Sign? Because . . . I'm poking at words to explain it, here, but like my experience is that once it's become the frame even people who wouldn't normally get into the UWD-version start framing things that way.
Tl;dr, I guess: mostly what the word indicates for me is "we have now switched to viewing anything in this work that might if we squint look like it applies to sexualized violence through a lens of Is This A Socially Responsible Work and exactly where that line gets drawn is based entirely who's framing this discussion, and I need to figure out who that is. Or actually just need to leave the discussion before I start hissing like a teakettle as we talk about 'but is this book entirely about war, violence and power full of TOO MUCH rape and ERGO BAD because it PARTICIPATES in rape culture while also critiquing it and really is writing rape ever Justified?™'"
Which: the words "for me" are germane, but. (And, ironically, I'm a person who DOES need a warning for sexual/ized violence in fic, avoids the Trash Party like the plague**, and definitely curates her reading based on "can I deal with sexual/ized violence right now", which is why The Secret History of the Mongol Queens has gone on pause right now because I cannot deal with the shit the great Khan's piece-of-shit sons started doing after he died and they all got threatened by their sisters and aunts being better than them.)
Summarize the summary of the summary: this also is totally not meant to be "STOP USING THE WORD!" Or whatever, just, "this is what it means to me, and why, and I bother saying anything at all because I know I'm not alone I'm just way more willing to be obnoxious and throw greenish ungulates at people about it."
(*just, in the way of anxiety crap, usually people whose anxiety ALSO prevents them from going "HEY GUYS A THING". Brains, man.)
(**not because there's anything Wrong there but just because the whole frame Upsets Me because of how I relate to fiction and so on. They are 100000% free to do their thing and I will fight for their right to do it as long as I don't have to look at it. ;P)
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